this is my new favourite reaction

when i make a joke to myself and no one’s around to hear it

I ain’t afraid of no goats.

I am suspicious of the pineapple though.

Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

When someone makes you think they’re about to tell you some juicy gossip

This is definitely an 11/10

a darkened auditorium with 264 silent people in the seats. on the stage, me, sitting on a stool, lit by a spotlight, the only light in the theatre. i hold up a photo of my cat, 10 people applaud, two or three hold up photocopies of the same photo, the rest do nothing, watching, waiting. 

I love this description of tumblr.

here.......for you

thank you

More friends!

Another friend <3

I still can’t believe this happened. 

GOAT

President Barack Hussein Obama has a great poker face. I would have laughed so hard.

You could see he wanted to laugh so damn hard lmao

into battle

I’ll be there as bassoon as I can