The Most Axolotly Axolotl

As I near 200,000 followers here at fishingboatproceeds, I just wanted to say Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it

Allow me to settle the "sex scenes in movies" discourse asap: sex scenes in movies are bad when I don't like them and they're good when I do like them. Hope this clears things up.

there is honestly nothing more gorgeously tacky than bowling alley carpet

Don’t even talk to me if all of your clothes aren’t made out of bowling alley carpet

Sorry I’m late I was touching soft moss on a stone wall

It's the antisemitism

compilation

I feel extremely blessed that I can’t name a single one of these rantsonas.

What-sonas???

I like the dragon’s design

i knew they were bad but that FLOORED me

Isnt the wolf from that video on why we should bring child labor back?

Which wolf

Wait im wrong

this is the child labor guy

Isnt that blue wolf the one who made “The benefits of incest” video

Oh my god you’re right

Just a FYI the “benefits of incest” guy stole the fursona they belong to Foofi!

https://youtu.be/VhjG8jmCVEU

there is really a LOT to unpack here

sweatpants that say “SWEATPANTS” on the ass

obsessed with how recipes are expressly banned in ao3′s terms of service but underage is a main content tag

Like… cooking recipes?

like cooking recipes

I know I’ve talked about it before but it never ceases to amaze me that the city of Toronto created this labyrinthine series of underground walkways that stretch for kilometres under the heart of downtown and they called it the fucking PATH. like how much more ominous could that even be. It doesn’t even stand for anything it’s just the PATH, all caps. What fucking fae named this artisanal bakery maze.

It doesn’t!!! even stand!! for anything!!!

Like I always lose my mind at this. If it doesn’t stand for anything it’s not an acronym Toronto!! Toronto!!!!!!!!!

Copying my tags:

I’m not exaggerating about the part without a ceiling:

This is, by the way, right under Bay & Bloor, dead centre of the city and some of the most expensive real estate in Canada. It radiates an incredible aura of menace.

Okay far more poeple have reblogged this than I thought and I just wanted to clarify- the horror of the PATH is not that it all looks like a spooky basement where you’re about to get murdered. There ARE spots like that, but to understand the ~vibe~ of the PATH, you have to understand that it is essentially one very large mall co-designed by like, 70+ different corperations who all have different aesthetics. SO, the PATH looks like that, but it also looks like this

and like this

and like this

and like this

Here’s an entrance to the PATH at Union

And here’s another- also at Union

And here’s another a few blocks away, though tbh I have never been able to enter here because it always seems to be locked, no matter how much I want Wendy’s that day. 

And you’d think these mixed aesthetics would make it easier to navigate, or at least figure out where you are, but again, there are over 70 different entities designing this shit and not one original thought between them. So while you may well know when you step from one property to the next, whatever the look of your current section it’s more than likely they’re a nigh identical section somewhere further just to confound your mortal sense. 

Basically, everyone tagging this with the Magnus Archives is very correct- If any place on earth could be the true domain of the Spiral it’s the PATH, and it’s just a shame Jonny didn’t know about it before the show wrapped up. 

Oh my God

It’s actually a great illustration of the failures of capitalism. The PATH isn’t something designed by the city, instead each building has their own section. And because of that, the signage isn’t just inconsistent, it’s actively hostile to you leaving that section. Every incentive points towards keeping you in that one area and not making it easy to find another building.

Also one time I tried to leave the PATH at night through a small set of double doors and while the doors leading to a small atrium opened, the doors leading to the outside were locked, and had I not caught the first doors before they closed I would’ve been trapped in an unheated 2m square between-space, neither in the PATH nor out of it, overnight

Lacroix tastes like when your drink is still buffering

Lacroix tastes like someone is sitting next to you thinking really hard about a piece of fruit

Cola addicts actually think like this, imagine having taste buds so fried and oversaturated you can’t enjoy La Croix, must be like the food eating equivalent of being a BDSM freak who can’t get off without five dudes and a car battery

imagine having such a superity complex over drinking carbonated water that you compare soda to bdsm

imagine enjoying a la croix

I FOUND THE POST

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

If I were a children’s show animator I would simply not be a pervert

Thanks toesucker

Oh I forgot

i miss when ppl straight up lied on here. i’m gonna start doing it again. okay so yesterday i saw hannibal lecter in the target bathroom

artistic rendition, 2021 (digital collage)

(x)

“the boy cries you a sweater of tears and you kill him” sounds like a richard siken poem but so does squidward’s subsequent line “this time there’s gonna be love. so much that he’s going to drown in it”

#just the three of us- you; me; and this brick wall you built between us#the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma#if i cant have you as a friend im going to make you a trophy#i defy you heart man#this city needs to be destroyed or at least painted a different color (x)

driving an old car, thrift shopping, having a large family