More of Day 4, then Days 5 - 9
Saturday January 5, 2019 just before bed
Saturday night after we left card games with friends, I was . not . good. It didn’t make a lot of sense. I’d been really peaceful minutes earlier but in the safety of our new home I realized that things were actually really unmanageable. I felt guilty about the lack of planning which was making it difficult for people to meetup with us but maintained an indignant unwillingness to retreat back to Missoula and allot time to plan. The brat in my head went something like “I don’t want to put more time into strategizing, I’ve already worked so hard to get ahead on Sexplanations, to fundraise, and go on the road.” I was a whiny human mess.
Nels listened then asked that I take things off my plate before I cracked. I evaluated each item but wasn’t able to see a way to let any of them go. So I did the next best thing and got out this wooden massage tool that Alex Reich of MinuteEarth recommended. I rolled out the stress in my back and went to sleep trusting that more would be revealed. Plus, someone from Twitter asked us to meet at Love Revolution in Ashland the next day and that was something to look forward to.
I woke up great. I suspect the hormone monster was off-duty.
We drove to meet another of Nels’ friends for breakfast, a very hip peach farmer. On the way a rafter of turkeys was gobbling down the street and that cheered me up more.
Breakfast for me was baked apples and french toast. Nels’ friend was very lively and told us about the decision to remove things from her own metaphorical plate. She also talked about people who’d had things removed for them like a vineyard where all the plants got sick and ended the business, a local grocer losing 15 million in profits to a chain store moving in, fires, wind storms, death. It gave some much needed perspective and gratitude.
From there we drove south toward a sex shop meetup at Love Revolution in Ashland, Oregon. Fajitas on the way. We arrived a little bit early decided due to strong rain that way stay abroad and clean house. At 4:58 we made our way across the street to the shop. It was gorgeous. There were Betty Dodson drawings on the walls, chandeliers of half naked men, eco-friendly vibrators, sex position party balloons, rainbow cock pockets, and ethically sourced sheepskin mats for soft sexy time. Brenda, the owner, greeted us at the door and her cockapoo ran up just behind her. I felt like I was at home and even more so when a somatic bodyworker we’d stopped by for the meetup introduced himself and gave me a tour of the space. My people!
A few others stopped into Love Revolution while I was and I offered sex education, but alas, they were happy just saying hi. I did talk with them about Sexplanations, the road tour, and toy vaginas though and I learned about microwaved bagels as a fifi option. Everyone was super kind and down to earth – something I wanted to remember for the journey going forward. I roamed the store one last time to select a souvenir and decided on an ornament I call Tinkerbeau. Brenda packaged him up safely for me and asked to treat me to my new magical man. What a treat indeed!
As soon as we got back to the RV I hung Tinkerbeau from the kitchen cabinets so he could fly as we drove. Then Nels and I organized everything in the RV so Tinkerbeau would have a nice home. It took hours and meant making a mess to assess what would go where but we successfully created a giveaway pile, a trash pile, and a recycling pile – everything else was neatly stashed away.
Then we decided to drive the mountain pass and get a little closer to our next destination. Up and over we went happy to have all our affairs in order, then Nels parked us at a sweet green meadow at the bottom of the pass to sleep and other things.
Time to go to California! I worked in the passenger seat and Nels drove. Had I not been on my phone taking a call I would have taken a picture of the water trucks we passed on the freeway. There must have been two dozen or more and they were each a different color – magenta, lime green, purple, sky blue. I wished that all state issued vehicles had that kind of pride.
First stop: Redding, California. Some fans there planned a meetup at a cafe called the Sweet Spot. I thought it was clever. We got build-your-own salads then sat down to talk. How did I get into the field? What’s the best way to talk to kids with conservative parents? What do I know about Bethel Church? We discussed the Sexplanations podcast and how they’d found Sexplanations in the first place. Then I asked where we should head for some Redding tourism and was told Turtle Bay and the Sundial bridge.
The Sundial bridge was outstanding and there were probably six different species of birds diving for fish in the river below. Turtle Bay was a sort of exploration park surrounding the bridge with lots of gardens and sculptures. I don’t like to run, neither does Nels, but the two of us took off along the garden paths for a quick workout before getting back in the RV and heading to Davis. Davis was/is our first big layover stop on the trip. We parked at friends’, I walked their dog, then we were treated to a home-cooked meal and time with an infant and toddler.
I was certain there was milk inside our friends’ house and I would finally be able to have peanut butter bumpers so my morning was hasty. Then Nels showed me he’d gotten me milk at the store some prior day while I was napping. What a guy!
I ate in the RV and then went inside the house to plan the day with friends. The outlined agenda was as follows: drive the wagon with four adults, three backpacks, one stroller, and two kids in carseats to the train station, take the double decker train to Sacramento, walk to the Crocker Art Museum, appreciate art, then get dinner and catch the 7 o’clock train out. We did all that and then some.
Then it was back home to the RV and a night in for our first movie in the motorhome: The Wiz. I hadn’t seen it before but the half I’ve seen now has been mind-bending. The scarecrow played by Michael Jackson sings, “ease on down the road.” Now the Sexplanations Road Tour has a theme song.
Wednesday January 9, 2019 written by Nels
Another layover day in Davis, CA. I spent it planning, cleaning and repairing the motor coach, and sorting gear. The hunt for a quality RV parts supply store began and ended at Allied Trailer Supply in Sacramento. Having great inventory and quality service, I walked away with plenty to do. The acquired parts all fit, now the roof vents all work and new vent wind deflectors will go on tomorrow. Since we’re finally in a climate that doesn’t freeze we turned on the fresh water system, flushed, sanitized and checked the water lines and will have mobile hot showers in our future. RV upkeep and repair was mostly successful. Tinkerbeau did fly off his hook and busted but he’s in recovery after superglue surgery. Photos soon.
Lindsey finished all our laundry, took walks, got lost, did dishes, called friends and professionals, infant-whispered a fussy baby to sleep, and cooked us a delicious green curry. She is still hammering away on the keyboard as I put this entry into the ether. More stops to schedule. More talks to give.
Thursday January 10, 2019
The plan was to go to the beach. I opted out though for a day of self-care. Nels and the friends headed out and I climbed back in bed to rest with the dog. I ended up sleeping until 2 pm! The dog and I went for a walk and then I drove the RV downtown to meet Michael who played a key role in helping us find and secure the RV that is now my home. We talked for a couple of hours about his romantic marriage, Davis weather, timeshares, and how I was doing then walked down the street where I had parked the RV so I could give him a tour. Later I went by myself to a gift shop called Newsbeat and now I’m snuggled up in blankets getting situated with emails.
There is a large padded envelope full of lubes I’m supposed to try out. They were overnighted here a couple days ago but I haven’t been ready to smell like salted caramel or coat my arms in non-scented silicone for science. More to report tomorrow.
