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@awkward-aro-ace-princess-76

Were it not that I have bad dreams.
aroace. genderqueer. she/they

so i just read the hunger games trilogy for the first time as a very queer adult, and, like, there's no way katniss isn't aro or on the aromantic spectrum. i know it wasn't intended by the author, but the books seem so much less focused on romance than what id heard about them. katniss's ultimate goals through the series were protecting her family and her top priority was always primrose.

katniss approached every thought of love and romance very logically and could never tell what the romance she was supposed to feel was, and was constantly confused by it. she was more worried about what she was supposed to feel than what she actually felt about peeta or gale. she never seemed like she was interested in having a romantic partner, and was mainly just worried juggling the romantic feelings of others, which is why i think her settling down with peeta and them taking care of each other as close friends or life companions (whether or not they have kids) wouldve been a really great end for her, rather than as a traditionally married couple with kids. when reading the epilogue, we know katniss only had kids because peeta really wanted to have kids, and not out of any desire of her own, which leads me to believe that if it was a matter of marriage she probably just didnt care and got married because peeta wanted it.

her having kids in the epilogue of Mockinjay is a nice tie in to the first book, because she was always terrified of the thought of bringing kids into the world pre-revolution. additionally, given her own relationship with her mother, she'd be reluctant to become one herself, and with how she was parentified as a child and had to take care of her family so young probably added to her fear of having kids whenever she would discuss it with gale early on in the triology. however, her disavowal of marriage is odd together with that if she's supposed to be alloromantic, because she could still both not want kids and be happily married in love. im sure in book 1, if gale and katniss ran off, gale wouldve been fine with a compromise like that.

while romance was very necessary to katniss's survival, it wasn't something she ever wanted or was looking for. she was always horrified at the idea of marriage which was very prevalent in Catching Fire, whether with gale or peeta or anyone else. she was unable to relax around peeta outside of the games until they became actual friends in the second book.

the romance is only a side touch of the books whenever it's brought up by another character, but it's never something katniss is actively thinking about except for the very end, but it's so natural and in character there that it just seems like she is spending her time with peeta as life companions and not as like romantically in love, even with the kids. the trilogy focused heavily on war, government corruption, oppression, trauma, poverty, and family. romance is a part of it, but it wasn't part of the main themes of the books. so in tumblr essay conclusion:

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do you ever think really awful thoughts and suddenly become aware that you are not a good person

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hockeyblogvanessa

always

i could give you my rant on how being raised in a world dominated by orthodox (i.e. morality is based on thinking the right things rather than doing the right things) religions fucks with your head, but i’ll keep it short

- if you have a dark thought that you find actively distressing, how can that thought be reflective of your basic morality? intrusive thoughts are distressing precicely because they go against your moral core. everyone has them sometimes and some mental illnesses come with a lot more of them, and they suck but they don’t make you a bad person

- if you have a dark thought that you don’t find distressing, but you choose not to act on it because you know it would hurt yourself or others, how can that thought be reflective of your basic morality when you’re making the moral choice not to act on it? that choice is what defines you, not the thought

- if you have a dark thought that you choose to act on, but realise later that it hurt someone and you don’t want to be someone who hurts people, how can that thought be reflective of your basic morality? you know you fucked up and you’re trying to do better, and that’s what defines you; not the thought, and not your past

everyone has dark impulses sometimes, both concious and unconcious, if that’s our rubrick for what makes a good person we might as well throw out the entire human race. what defines a person is what they choose to do with those impulses, and, and this is the big one, whether they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday.

Sound designing a vampire being hit in the face with a shovel is... challenging. Who would've guessed.

[Audio transcript: Ben Galpin voicing Jonathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. He says, "There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face," followed by a cartoon "bonk" and the Wilhelm scream. End transcript]

I'm so excited for @re-dracula, y'all have no idea what you're in for