someone please explain to me why sea shanties and traditional Irish songs aren’t more popular
I AM NOT JOKING THEY SLAP SO HARD I SERIOUSLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND
I also know a concerning amount of traditional Irish songs for someone who isn’t Irish and hasn’t lived in Ireland LMFAOOO
however I am going to blame that one on my dad because he plays the banjo every day while The Dubliners is playing in the background
One of the things that will always warm my heart is the genuine emotion that occurs between a sailor and a ship. I love it when it is depicted in any form of media.
Things like:
- The song Eight Bells by the Jolly Rogers
- the Millennium Falcon and all her pilots and captains
- the Black Pearl and both Captain Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbossa. They always return to her in the series
- the crew of the Rocinante from the Expanse among others.
i say the joker is boring a lot to piss off fanboys but he’s not actually that boring. the real issue is that i’m bored of him being the villain every time when batman has a million other more interesting villains. why would i want to watch some “we live in a society” movie about the joker when i could watch a movie about poison ivy wanting to save the planet by any means possible. or mr. freeze trying desperately to save his wife. or scarecrow growing up with an abusive grandmother. the joker has his moments but please please please i would like to see literally anyone else.
hey if you see a post for trans women/gay/bi girls dont reblog it and comment something like “trans men too!!!1! U mean gay boys???!?” Trans women and wlw rarely get any posts dedicated to them. It is so easy to find a post for mlm/trans men, so please, do that. You may mean well but please, dont derail posts
Like imagine if every LGBTQ+ person raised their flags and started singing hoist the colors simultaneously on the first day of Pride Month. Now that would be a great way to start.
Friendly reminder that both pirates and cowboys are historically proven to have been multiple flavors of gay.
think about it, if someone is a convicted criminal and serge of the sea would you really give a flying shit of who they liked if they where in the process of raiding your ship aka lively hood?
No, no you wouldn't
If someone was out in the middle of no where and was just directing around 2,000 lb murder milkers would you give a shit and put your life in danger to go out of your way to call a cow ranger out?
No, so remember
trans men are real men
trans women are real women
love is love,
and if anyone says otherwise,
they are on thin ice and are half way to being slapped into the 7th circle of violence.
Do you know how many times you distracted me when I was hurt or lonely? Do you know how many times a line or a scene from fanfic marked me so much that I remembered years later, even though I can’t recall my own phone number?
Even if the fic isn’t perfect or popular or multi-chaptered… Sometimes there’s just one sentence that changed me.
You, miles and miles away, changed me.
ok, so it bothers me how disproportionate the support for trans men vs trans women is.
im not saying trans men dont deserve all the love and support in the world but so do us trans girls, like ill go to the ftm tag an see passing tips, clothing/binder hacks, an so much stuff but the mtf tag is full of chasers sissys an crossdressers. plus yall will post stuff like
but when one of ours sisters gets killed, or beaten yall seem to turn a blind eye??
not saying its everyone but ive mainly found that on tumblr an instagram. the lack of mtf support makes me so frustrated and mad
this is a poll taken from a trans support insta account. 176 people responed. 94% said they are FtM or nb which is fine, but only 5.6 percent were MtF. lets round the number up to 180 and with some simple math, 170 people out of 180 trans people (in this demographic) were FtM or nb, whereas 31 people are MtF. side note, when i look up MtF dysphoria help the first thing to come up is “FtM dysphoria and passing tips”. i was crying on my bathroom floor with scissors ready to cut my genitals off and when i looked for help it wasnt even for me and my sisters. the only passing and dysphoria help i could find is for closeted trans girls which is awesome but what about passing tips for trans women who are already out? the dangers of some trans girl things didnt even become known to me until i found a post on an obscure insta account with under 100 followers which detailed the risks of thing such as tucking, wearing tight push up bras, wearing excessive makeup for a long time, and sromach thinners/ waist boosters like coursettes. this is all i have to say but please reblog this. trans women such as myself and my sisters deserve so much more attention and support than we get.
TL;DR
trans women arent given enough attention or help is the trans community these days
it REEKS of transmysoginy how yall saw a trans woman talkin like “hey yall maybe treat us better?” an got mad. also how ppl went digging monthes back when i made this post tryina bring up old shit (that i apologized 4 an changed from) while completly derailing an takin focus away from th fact that yes, transmysoginy is a HUGE issue and how within th community we get treated like less than, espec BIpoc trans femmes.
since the old version of this post was flagged for 'adult content'...
Portals to Hell by hrmphfft
IT’S BACK
I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS AGAIN FOR MONTHS
I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW
ITS BACK
This is one of those posts that you need to save and tag or you’ll never see it again for 84 years.
You got that right
I’m crying
New portal just opened
honestly the sequels could have been fixed very easily if tlj wasn’t such a cluster fuck of “ill do whatever the fuck i want” with just a couple of simple plotlines:
-rey had to be luke’s long lost daughter. why? it explains why he was missing at the beginning of tfa: he’s looking for her. he doesn’t want to believe she’s dead, even after years of searching and finding nothing. even leia has given up the search, but not luke (he is and always will be the character that doesn’t give up on family.) but the search has driven him a little insane, at this point he’s kinda desperate. then this random girl shows up, sent by leia to train with luke. luke doesn’t want to train her, he’s told leia that he’s not going to train another generation of jedi to die again. not until he finds his daughter at least (which is an excuse). there you have the whole resented hermit sequence, but change it up. instead of all in a single island, luke jumps from planet to planet in the unknown regions, following clues that lead to nowhere, and rey struggles to keep up. she follows him anyway, she wants to train, she wants to defeat kylo to avenge han and protect finn.
- rey still has a force bond with kylo but it’s because of their familial relationship. she’s the only one in the family who kylo doesn’t consider himself betrayed by -she was just a kid when the temple burned. revelation: it was kylo who put her in jakku. he killed his classmates, but he wasn’t able to kill his little cousin. so he hid her, erased her memories, and gave her a new name. he promised he would come back for her, when the galaxy was in order. there you have explanation of why kylo asks “what girl” like he knows her, and why rey is waiting for her family to come back for her. you have there the explanation of kylo’s remaining light, that light that calls to him: it’s rey who has been calling out into the stars for years with no answer.
- luke finally relents and trains her. he sees himself on rey, how he had to insist to yoda to train him. you can insert here all his thoughts about the old jedi order, about how he tried to do things differently and still failed. how he thinks this is the end of the jedi. you can also insert here hopeful rey saying she won’t fail him, but luke isn’t a trustful kid anymore. he trains her but keeps her at an arm’s length.
- because of that, he holds back on her training. rey eventually confronts kylo and loses, and he reveals the truth to her. rey has her identity crisis and world shattering moment. have the next movie be about her mending her relationship with luke, how he was so focused on finding a ghost he couldn’t even see when she was standing in front of him. have him then give in and face leia, and join the good fight. rey now has this family legacy she doesn’t know how to handle. have that be an important motive in her relationship with finn, whose identity is entirely self made. have rey be an adopted daughter, probably an orphan from the galactic civil war who luke found as a baby and adopted as his own. her family is a chosen family, like finn’s.
- you can also insert here luke training finn and this being a conflict with rey because he can’t be objective with her like he’s with him. finn has a bigger goal in mind: freeing the stormtroopers from the first order, and that’s the kind of bigger cause luke can easily get behind. rey’s conflict facing kylo hits too close to home. maybe the resolution is leia training rey.
- have poe be relevant throughout his relationship with leia and by extension with kylo. explore how poe grew up in the rebellion and when his parents died leia more or less adopted him. show me kylo being incredibly resentful and jealous of poe, how he felt sidelined as a kid and how in his eyes poe isn’t special, he shouldn’t get more attention from his mother! have poe’s conflict be about how he knew kylo as a little kid and to see him transformed into this monster hurts deeply. how a simple non-force sensitive man like poe “replaced” leia’s son.
idk how i would resolve this in the end but SEE you don’t need that many changes to make the goddam trilogy work. palpatine can be back or whatever the big baddie is not what’s important here.
Why is the Fantasy Protagonist's Cool Animal Companion always a wolf, a bird of prey, or something cool? If you live in a medieval-ish society, even if you have cool powers to bond with an animal, it's probably going to be a farm animal.
What about a fantasy book where the heroine's Spirit Companion Animal is a pig. And not a cute piglet, but a huge fucking sow. As clever as a human, but absolutely as ruthless as pigs can be.
And the protagonist is like "should I quit eating pork? Does it disturb you, that milk piglet could have been yours." And the pig is like "bitch first of all the difference is that it isn't mine, and don't fucking pretend that - given the chance - I wouldn't eat a human child."
"What are we going to do with him?" "I propose murder." "Where would we put the body?" "I volunteer." "Are you suggesting we should kill him because you want to eat his corpse?" "I'm sure there are plenty of other good reasons to kill him here, I just can't think of them all right now."
I made screen shots of [this] post so I could show my husband. I though I’d post them so other people could do the same.
i could keep adding to this all day
someone add canada
Thank you for adding Japan
Japan knows what they did
But yeah thanks for adding Japan
Look I love my country but you guys should be ashamed from time to time
Y’all seem to be forgetting the CCP
Allow me to add
do actors get boners while making sex scenes this is one of the things i’ve wondered my whole life
Idk if you actually care for the answer, but they have to put their dicks in little sleeves that attach to the leg so if they get a boner it just get held down.
that sounds like a garment that should be sold everywhere and considered polite if not mandatory to wear, like bras
Omg I can’t
As a guy I second this.
If I have to wear a titty sling because there might be an event where it becomes chilly and my nip noops become visible through my shirt, people who have a peenor should be expected to wear a peenor sling in case there is an event where a gentle breeze occurs and their peenor becomes erect.
I kind of feel like if we’re gonna do that we should go all-out and they should be IMPOSSIBLE to size, VERY expensive, flimsy, and made of uncomfortable, itchy materials.
And the little ones should have cute designs but the big ones only come in white,black, and tan
and there should be a company that sells them called Victor’s Secret, that has uncomfortably large, close-up photos of enormously-endowed male “angels” stuffed into their gorgeous little pouches spread all over every mall and TV channel, which changes societal expectations on penis size as a whole, so that men who don’t have incredibly large penises feel impossibly inadequate and feel compelled to make up for it by spending a fortune on overpriced penis pouches as a way of compensating.
Then Victor’s Secret should be sure not to actually carry any of these garments in the sizes that they advertise, so that only modestly-endowed men have the privilege of being seen in the shop, which is the type of place that simultaneously clamors for huge dicks, but refuses to cater to them in any way, leaving everyone involved vaguely uncomfortable and slightly ashamed.
This is legit one of the best posts I’ve ever found on tumblr.
They also must come with a terrible underwire that sometimes breaks or stabs them from time to time.
This is great.
Last year, Apple outraged independent technicians when they updated the Iphone design to prevent third party repair, adding a “feature” that allowed handsets to detect when their screens had been swapped (even when they’d been swapped for an original, Apple-manufactured screen) and refuse to function until they got an official Apple unlock code.
Now, this system has come to the MacBook Pros and Imac Pros, thanks to the “T2 security chip” which will render systems nonfunctional after replacing the keyboard, screen, case, or other components, until the a proprietary Apple “configuration tool” is used to unlock the system.
Apple does not tell its customers that the computers it sells are designed to punish them for opting to get their property repaired by independent technicians; the details of the T2 came from a leaked service manual.
and this is why i won’t touch macs with a ten foot cattle prod
son of a fucking bitch goddamn it. i don’t want to keep buying from this kind of corporation, but microsoft enrages me to the point of throwing the machine at the wall at least once per hour, so i’m not sure i have a choice. it’s all fine and good for seebs to treat linux like a real alternative but i want apps and graphics software and stuff.
guess i’ll just keep using this 2015 macbook for another three years. or six. or ten.
it appears this one is Not Yet Implemented – it doesn’t actually brick them, it’s just the service manual saying it can or might or something, and people have done some experiments and not hit that yet.
so if we make enough noise they might come to their senses? because i really won’t buy a machine that does that, but i am also much too high-strung to deal with microsoft machines that think they’re the boss of me and they get to tell me what i’m allowed to do when instead of the other way around.
If Apple didn’t stop working on their products when they reached 7-years-old, they wouldn’t have had this problem in the first place.
That’s why they stop working on their products–it’s to force you to buy new ones. You’re confusing incompetence with their shown malice.
Random Headcanon: That Federation vessels in Star Trek seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn’t just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it’s because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they don’t really understand. Endlessly frustrating if you have to fight them, because they can pull an effectively unlimited number of bullshit space-magic countermeasures out of their arses - but they’re as likely as not to give themselves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie in the process. All those rampant holograms and warp core malfunctions and accidentally-traveling-back-in-time incidents? That doesn’t actually happen to anyone else; it’s literally just Federation vessels that go off the rails like that. And they do so on a fairly regular basis.
So to everyone else in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown.
Aliens who have seen the Back to the Future movies literally don’t realise that Doc Brown is meant to be funny. They’re just like “yes, that is exactly what all human scientists are like in my experience”.
THE ONLY REASON SCOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPECIES WITH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE IS BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE ENTERPRISE’S ENGINE ROOM AND RAN AWAY SCREAMING
vulcan science academy: why do you need another warp core
humans: we’re going to plug two of them together and see if we go twice as fast
vsa: last time we gave you a warp core you threw it into a sun to see if the sun would go twice as fast
humans: hahaha yeah
humans: it did tho
vsa: IT EXPLODED
humans: it exploded twice as fast
I love this. Especially because of how well it plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much better against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with military tactics is nigh-impossible, but beating them with wacky superscience shenanigans works as long as they’re unique wacky superscience shenanigans.
Yeah, I love this.
Reminds me of the thing I wrote a while back about Humans in high fantasy realms - they’re basically Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This.
Impulsive, passionate to a fault, the social structures they build to try and regulate this hotheadedness ironically creates even greater levels of sheer bull-headedness. Even their “cooler” heads take action in months or weeks.
All their great heroes of the past were impossibly rash by galactic standards. Humans Just Go With It, which is their great flaw but also their greatest strength.
klingons: okay we don’t get it
vulcan science academy: get what
klingons: you vulcans are a bunch of stuffy prisses but you’re also tougher, stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way
klingons: why do you let them run your federation
vulcan science academy: look
vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores they don’t do experiments on one and save the other for if the first one blows up
vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores, they will ask for a third one, immediately plug all three into each other, punch a hole into an alternate universe where humans subscribe to an even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in it because they’re offended by that, steal their warp cores, plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because that was what their initial scientific experiment was for and they didn’t want to waste a trip.
vulcan science academy: they did that last week. we have the write-up right here. it’s getting published in about six hundred scientific journals across two hundred different disciplines because of how many established theories their ridiculous little expedition has just called into question. also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actually knows how.
vulcan science academy: this is why we let them do whatever the hell they want.
klingons: …. can we be a part of your federation
Come to think of it, I mean. Look at the “first human warp drive” thing in the movie. That was… Not how Vulcans would have done it.
you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9 almost never broke down. minor malfunctions that irritated O’Brien to hell and back, sure, but almost none of the truly weird shit that befell Voyager and all the starships Enterprise. what was the weirdest malfunction DS9 ever had? the senior staff getting trapped as holosuite characters in Our Man Bashir, and that was because a human decided to just dump the transporter buffer into the station’s core memory and hope everything would work out somehow, which is a bit like swapping your computer’s hard drive out for a memory card from a PlayStation 2 and expecting to be able to play a game of Spyro the Dragon with your keyboard and mouse.
you know what, I’m not done with this post. let’s talk about the Pegasus. the USS Fucking Pegasus, testbed for the first Starfleet cloaking device. here we have a handful of humans working in secret to develop a cloaking device in violation of a treaty with the Romulans. they’re playing catchup trying to develop a technology other species have had for a century. and what do they do? do they decide to duplicate a Romulan cloaking device precisely, just see if they can match what other species have? nope. they decide, hey, while we’re at it, while we’re building our very first one of these things, just to find out if this is possible, let’s see if we can make this thing phase us out of normal space so we can fly through planets while we’re invisible.
“but why” said the one Vulcan in the room.
“because that would fucking rule” said the humans, high-fiving each other and slamming cans of 24th-century Red Bull.
there must be like twenty different counselling groups for non-human engineering students at Starfleet Academy, and every week in every single one of them someone walks in and starts up with a story like “our assignment was to repair a phaser emitter and my one human classmate built a chronometric-flux toaster that toasts bread after you’ve eaten it.”
Humans get mildly offended by the way they are presented in non-human media.
Like: “Guys, we totally wouldn’t do that!” But this always fails to get much traction, because the authors can always say: “You totally did.”
“That was ONE TIME.”
There’s that movie where humans invented vaccines by just testing them on people. Or the one about those two humans who invented powered flight by crashing a bunch of prototypes. Or the one about electricity.
And human historians go, “Oh, uh, this is historically accurate, but also kind of boring.” To which the producers respond: “How is doing THIS CRAZY THING boring????????”
There are entire serieses of horror movies where the premise is “We stopped paying attention to the human and ey found the technology.”
reblog for new meta. RE that last line: McGuyver.
“MacGuyver” is the equivalent of Vulcan vintage human horror television.
during orientation at a human college, vulcans are presented with a list of swear words.
“what is the word ‘fuck’ for,” the innocent young vulcans want to know. “surely there are more logical intensity modifiers.”
“yeah, you’d think so,” say the weary, jaded vulcan professors. “you’d really fucking think so.”
there is a phrase in vulcan for ‘the particular moment you understand what the word ‘fuck’ is for’.
This is why the Federation is the only organisation to ever stand a chance against the Borg
The Borg can adapt to the brilliant millitary strategies of the Romulan Star Empire, the Klingons and even the cold logical intellectual prowess of the vulcans
The Borg weren’t prepared for a starship captain to lure them into his 50′s noir detective holo-novel and then machine gun them to death with a weapon made out of hard light
This thread is amazing. Even as a baby star trek nerd that only really knows the new movies.
“there is a phrase in vulcan for ‘the particular moment you understand what the word ‘fuck’ is for’.”
I just died
I lost my shit at “toasts your bread after you’ve eaten it”
Oh please please someone write this
the best thing about this post is that the way it’s written - by multiple human authors getting over-excited about ridiculous, wonderful, impossible ideas that ought by rights to be terrifying - is itself proof that we’re like this
This wins all the Star Trek posts.
Coming back to DS9 and why they seemed to have very few malfunctions except the people-in-holosweet-memory thing: yes, I agree, Cardassian design. All known problems came from a.) Bajoran rebels’ boob traps, b.) Human ingenuity, c.) Cardassias trashing shit on the way out, and d.) the ability to override the system’s failsafes.
That last one is important.
I just watched the first season recently and got hit very hard between the eyes when I realized what O’Brien was actually complaining about; it wasn’t that they weren’t working correctly. It was because it was working correctly; he couldn’t override when the computer said no.
Federation computers only ask for your password and can be hacked by literally anyone, anywhere in the general area, and sometimes abruptly become sentient and/or possessed by non-corporeal beings. Failsafes are for losers.
That doesn’t happen to Cardassian computers. Cardassian computers do not let you do anything you want no matter how high up you are; if it’s unsafe, it says “NOPE”. They have security measures based on rank and species with specific failsafes that allow them to DELETE YOUR ACCESS AND SOMETIMES KILL YOU AND/OR SELF-DESTRUCT. Engineer, captain, terrorist, abrupt sentience, or non-corporeal being: don’t care. If it’s not within established parameters, no, you can’t do it.
