@skittlesfairy I never ran so fast in my life as when we accidentally woke up your dad from his sleep lmfao 🤣
If you know someone who speaks dismissively of people working service or retail jobs, please remind them that they are bad.
dradelcrahasmoved
Bruh
I can’t believe I read this post with my own fucking eyes
I love it unironically, I burst out laughing. It hits the same note as “the opposite of malice is bonfire”.
“The Perfect Heist Hack”
Fun Fact: I modified a pair of pants for this sketch so I could hold 30 feet of rope and a full-sized grappling hook in the pant leg. Useful!
featuring Jordan Hare
#this is what we’re losing by not putting disabled characters in action/fantasy/sf stories#hitherto unavailable shenanigans!
King
Update: Elon is now trying to hide his jet activity
Reblogging for the last one because that is next gen
poorlydressedhipster
“They had me in these tiny underwear things that held NOTHING in. So when I lift my leg there, that is everyone’s real reaction. Look at Alison Brie’s face. That’s real!” - Joel McHale
sonnetstockmar
look at Danny (Abed)
always and forever
Also noteworthy: Chevy has the same, “oh THEEEERE it is!” look as Alison, and Gillian and Donald share the, “Agh God!” expression.
I'm selling analogue NFTs. For ten American dollars I'll draw you a fun little stick person doodle and mail you a certificate that says it's yours.
.... alright I guess I'm doin this
Update: I have drawn the stick man
My first token. I'm sure this will be worth millions in the years to come.
You can expect your unique "A Wizzer Like From The Mid Evil Times" analogue NFT in the mail in a few days I guess
I right clicked it, I have stolen my first nft
Everything about this delights me.
Losing my mind remembering that pic chelsea manning posted of the extremely undercover and not at all obvious fbi agent who was tailing her after her release
what kind of sixth sense do american have to recognize fbi agents that easily
to paraphrase her, its always the shoes.
americans please explain to a foreigner, he looks like some random dude to me
cattarmerang
1. They all have the same haircut, almost everybody in law enforcement and the military have the same haircut due to regulations.
2. They all wear the same shoes. Same boots, and same overpolished dress shoes.
3. They act different. Shifty eyed and always on their own.
4. They’re kinda really bad at their jobs. I’ve encountered plenty of “undercover” cops outside of bars that ask questions no regular person in their right mind would ever ask. “How are you getting home?” “Who did you come here with tonight?”
5. America is a police state on a budget. Most officers are poorly trained, fbi agents require a 4 year degree (I think), but lord knows how much training they actually get. And the dumb kids from your high school always become cops.
It’s always the dense as a brick kid, with something to prove that becomes a cop. The kid that mouth-breathed and couldn’t chew gum and walk at the same time.
grumpysgains
Their shirts are never form fitting so they can conceal a weapon and cuffs.
Always look at the watch, it’ll be expensive but in neutral tones (uniform standards strike again).
They will always sit where they can see their target and the nearest exit.
They will have a partner who is less obvious but wil point a recording device (phone or camera) at you. Check elevated positions, it gives them the clearest view to track you and keep an eye on their partner at the same time.
One time when i lived in phoenix, I was driving home through residential streets from Panda Express on April 20th and there was a 40something year old white man standing quite literally in the MIDDLE of the fucking road wearing a brand new straight from the store weed jersey (jersey #420 with a big pot leaf), a wornout old raiders hat, regular-fit straight leg jeans, and cop shoes. This man proceeded to try to wave me down to stop since I was driving slowly (again, residential neighborhood) and as he did so fully yelled “You buying bro? You buying? 420 bro 420 you buying?”
I almost choked laughing so hard. I couldn’t stop myself from just yelling “NO THANK YOU OFFICER” as i drove by him.
for the past 60 years law enforcement, military, and even literal espionage/intelligence based organizations have assumed that rigid conformity to dress code was more important then actually training how to go undercover, blend in, or understand what the fuck theyre doing largely because the ‘we are infallible’ mindset is too strong for them to consider they might not be doing very good
shoutout to the two “undercover cops” who were at my school to monitor the student body for a week, acting like “substitute assistants” and literally all of the kids immediately recognised them as cops and everyone would address them only as “officer” which annoyed the hell out of them because “we aren’t cops” like sir you literally have your badge in your back pocket and a taser what fucking substitute assistant would have an actual police badge and a whole ass taser??
Just a casual reminder that this is what secret police are. Like, this is the literal definition. Police who are (badly or otherwise) pretending to not be police.
i know this has eight billion notes already but i love sharing these images
This thread reminds me of this story lol
A long meme, but something that should be said
taurusthetrucker
💁🏾♂️
uncle-cazador
Pencils also shed graphite something you don’t want floating in a cabin with electronics
delaney33-2ndtry
That’s a long way to say NASA spent millions of dollars of tax payer money on bullshit because space doesn’t exist
I’m glad there’s people like this around here. Makes me feel grounded and sane.
im always so [???] by kiryu's VA's outfit in almost every photo i see of him
alright i'll bite the bullet... who is taylor swift
that's just when the person hemming your pants does it really fast
respectfully this was not funny
