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@averageconsumeroffood

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i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video

I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.

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orbispelagium

Goddamn, this is nearly thirty years old and it fits like a glove into contemporary shitpost cadence and aesthetics, this is High Art

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oh-man-aw-geez
“that’s right
we’ll fuck your wife”

IT BETTER NOT BOUNCE OR YOU’RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER

not to be Old Man Is Confused About The Youths

but i just saw the word "cluttercore" and couldn't stop myself from laughing my ass off. what does that even fucking mean? the picture associated with it was a tidy bedroom that had stuff on the walls and shelves.

is that it? is cluttercore just... having things? not being minimalist?

Rectanglencore. Housecore. Legcore. rockcore. anything is a core and everything is a core.

one aspect of avatar canon i feel like isn't talked about nearly enough is the fact that zuko canonically has prophetic dreams

like during zuko's Morality Coma in season 2 he has an incredibly vivid dream about two red and blue dragons, and then in season 3 he just fucking. meets the exact same dragons for real? there are slight differences in how they look but otherwise he genuinely just dreamed about ran and shaw months before actually seeing them in person? and it's never elaborated on but huh???

zuko: yeah i had some weird fever dreams. there were like these two dragons circling me, and the blue one sounded like azula and wanted me to die or whatever, and the red one sounded like you and was telling me not to do that—

iroh, the only person in this house who should know what those fucking dragons look like: hey What

zuko for sure keeps having dreams like this for YEARS without connecting the dots that it's weird spirit shenanigans. aang eventually has to point it out to him and even then he thinks it's Uncle Bullshit for several more years

went to miami to recover father sotirios. and made some new friends.

these animals... they are wise. I recruited them to avenge my dear brother. I was then escorted out of the sea world.

Better than the 1596 Marseille dolphin exorcism I suppose.

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In 1596 dolphins were infesting the port of Marseille. Back in those days, y’see, dolphins didn’t have the cuddly image they enjoy today. They were pests and were causing damage.

So the cardinal of Avignon sent the bishop of Cavaillon to do something about them. In front of a huge crowd, the bishop sprinkled some holy water into the waters of the port and told the dolphins to begone. Whereupon the dolphins indeed turned tail in terror and fled, and were never seen again.

Still not as dramatic as Saint Bernard excommunicating the flies though.

What happened to the flies?

Saint Bernard of Clairvaux built a monastery in 1124, but it was plagued by flies. So the good saint promptly excommunicated them. By the next day the flied had died in such quantities that they had to be shoveled out.

Still not as nutty as the Basel rooster trial though.

*everyone in unison* um what rooster trial?

In 1474, a rooster in Basel did the heinous and unspeakable act of laying an egg. As everyone knows, an egg laid by a rooster will hatch into a basilisk (or cockatrice).

So to avoid the creation of a cockatrice (or basilisk), the rooster was tried, found guilty, and burned at the stake along with its egg. A huge crowd was present.

The “rooster” in this case was likely a hen that had developed male characteristics (it happens).

Still not as properly legal as the Savigny pig trial though.

Ok, clearly you want an excuse to talk about the pig thing, and I now DESPERATELY want to hear about the pig thing, so PLEASE tell us about the Pig Thing.

In 1457 a sow killed Jehan Martin, a five-year-old boy in Savigny. For that crime she was put on trial and judged guilty, and sentenced to be hanged from a tree.

Her piglets, however, were judged to have been innocent of the murder, and so were returned to the owner, with the caveat that he had to surrender them to the law if they were later found to have eaten any of the boy.

Not to be confused with a whole bunch of other, similar porcine trials.

I won’t mention the 1454 excommunication of eels in Lake Geneva then.

the seaquarium of miami banned me from visiting for life if anyone even cares.

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ok.

I really can’t believe I’ve been on this hell site for 8 years

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Impart me in your wisdom of ancient times

one time there was a tumblr user with the url “pizza” and she would just comment on any text post about pizza saying “omg that’s me” and then we found out she had an entire tag dedicated to saying the n word

One time somebody paid $750 for the url ‘hi’ and got deleted in less than a year for promoting weight loss scams

There’s always been something deeply wrong with this place.

Here is a free pdf of the players handbook

Here is a free pdf of xanathars guide to everything

Here is a free pdf to monsters manual

Here is a free pdf to tashas cauldron of everything

Here is a free pdf to dungeon master’s guide

Here is a free pdf to volo’s guide to monsters

Here is a free pdf of mordenkainen’s tomb of foes

For all your dnd purposes

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probablyromanticrpgideas

Love your wallets

also 5e.tools is an actively maintained open source dnd 5e repository, that even lets you download your very own offline fully functional copy of the website, just in case it ever goes down

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sourdoughnibblers

this video is genuinely incredible - the framing, the sunset, the single street light, the sound of traffic and cicadas in the background, the video of the sign capture imperfectly by (presumably) a phone camera. it’s a work of art and a perfect encapsulation of 21st century america

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ok.

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zaggot

frisk is just a fucking baby. and everyone just monologues at them

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zaggot

alphys: you know i… i used to hate myself, before you came along. i don’t know… i don’t want to use you to boost my self esteem but i just want to say… thanks, you know? for giving me a little more confidence, i guess. you’re really special to me

frisk: *is five years old*

World Heritage Post

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welcome to the no notes frisk wants chicken nuggets post

Okay then

the most life-changing customer i’ve ever had at work was a guy who came up to me and my coworker when we were at cash and said ‘hey kids…. wanna see something?’

and I said sure because why the fuck not, i’m here for a good time not a long time, and this motherfucker pulled a railroad spike out of his pocket.

A GODDAMN

ANTIQUE

RAILROAD

SPIKE

It was a fucking foot long chunk of steel that weighed about five pounds on its own so i was like ‘huh….. neat’

and he said ‘wait. there’s more’ and he took out a screwdriver. inlaid into the head of the spike. ‘things aren’t always as they appear’ he said as he unscrewed the bit and pulled out of this goddamn railroad spike

a statue

a tiny, tiny golden statue stood on the base of this flathead screw. it was a tiny golden man standing next to a tiny golden flower with gemstones in the petals. the whole thing was smaller than my thumbnail is tall. it was detailed enough that the tiny man had facial features. it was amazing.

‘oh my god,’ i said. ‘how long did it take you to make that?’

‘here’s a word of advice,’ he said, ‘never answer that question when people ask it. it devalues your work. you’ll get faster and better at things, and be able to make more art in less time. they don’t need to know about the process, just the product’.

and he left and that’s the one artistic piece of advice i definitely wanna hold to.

don’t tell people how long it takes to make shit.