working at a dispensary is funny. guy came in and asked for "weed for guys" and i said "what do you mean" and then he just apologized and left
gudaho
Every single kid in soul eater could beat up any kid from boku no hero academia. Its bc of the Nevada tap water
*says 2022 with the same cadence as Scooby Dooby Doo*
penis-peeper
“men aren’t pretty” wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong bad incorrect stop talking
verdict-deactivated20220608
take 1 bite of this to see the hat man
flexing on people with executive dysfunction by doing the dishes even though i don't feel like it
remember: it is ALWAYS morally correct to wear shorts that are way too small. it is your right to have your ass cheeks out. if you ever find yourself thinking “do i really need to show hole to go hang out with casual platonic friends?” that is the devil talking. you do. you need to
0111010001110010011000010111000
does anyone wnt to turn into a creature with me. it does have to be weird btw
ye awaken with a minty butthole
how do ye proceed
0kkvlt
Look butthole
ye spread ye cheeks to the nearest mirror. inside ye butthole is a bottle of DR. BRONNER'S PEPPERMINT SOAP
0kkvlt
Take soap
ye attempteth to take ye soap out of ye butthole but ye buttholds fast
0kkvlt
Look room
ye look around ye room. this is where ye sleep on a stinky matress without a bedframe or sheet to be found. on ye wall ye sees ye HUNKY FIRECHUNKS CALENDAR (2015), ye chest o'drawers has a record player with FLEETWOOD MAC - RUMOURS on the spindle, ye night stand has a small bottle of DR. BRONNER'S BUTTHOLE RELEASE cream. doors to ye bathroom and ye kitchen are both on ye north wall.
0kkvlt
Use record player use record player
ye listen to the entirety of FLEETWOOD MAC - RUMOURS, playing THE CHAIN four times in a row, forgetting about ye minty butthole problems.
0kkvlt
Look calendar
Ye narrator tires of using pseudo old timey speech and she suddenly abandons it. The HUNKY FIRECHUNKS CALENDAR is flipped to JULY 2015, on it there is a HUNKY FIRELAD, insanely toned wearing nothing but a fire helmet and a jock strap, he is partially submerged in a giant bowl of chili. Between his legs he straddles a large firehose, clearly a penis metaphor. His eyes look seductive but somehow, impatient. Like he has an important meeting to get to, a meeting with your genitals, perhaps? Oh also I guess you circled JULY, 17TH, 2015 for some reason but whatever.
0kkvlt
Go kitchen
It's your kitchen. On your refrigerator sits a goblin. On the walls are two sexy calendars - both from 2015, one is SPICY FIREFIGHTIN' LASSES and the other is AGENDER ARSONISTS, maybe you wished to give the firefighters a purpose by giving them fires to fight? After all, what's a sexy hero without a sexy sexy villain? You don't have a stove, stop asking about the stove.
0kkvlt
Hug goblin
You embrace the goblin. The goblin, touch starved, begins to cry on your shoulder.
no your honor I absolutely can make my case like an adult. first things first, fuck the defendant and fuck his family too. secondly,
Portrait of an unidentified woman standing outdoors wearing a blouse with exaggerated sleeves, 1896
shinigamisuit
fuck with me
Posts a bug would make
Getting thrown around
Fell off a counter
Stuck inside a light