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Leo and I were super into having this intergenerational queer connection. We wanted it to feel like this really affectionate, connecting moment where Max is encouraging and moved by Micah. This is how it is for queer people. We are each other’s family and sometimes pretty quickly you can have these bonds. That was really special. And also to show Max in this beautiful relationship with their partner which we didn’t see a lot of it in the past. I was very happy with the casting of Armand Fields and the way it felt with us all on set with Em. Everyone was so committed to this moment. At one point, Armand said, “Welcome back to your franchise” as if it’s Marvel or something. And I realized so much of what I experienced in the past was trying to prove I was a part of something because they always tried to make it very clear that I wasn’t really a cast member because I wasn’t a woman. But these people — Em, Nova, Armand, Jillian, Leo — they all just made it really clear that they were happy I was back. It was a dream.

Jacqueline Toboni Talks Going Full Magic Mike on Generation Q

Sa’iyda: I was so enraptured by it that it didn’t even register to my brain that like, “Oh, you have to ask about that.” 

Jacqueline: It’s actually an interesting story. So Em, who’s our director, they’re awesome, and they were like, “Well, we’re doing a demolition scene. I want to do a little montage.” We’re like, “Okay, what do you mean? Where’s the camera?” You’re asking these technical questions. And they were like, “It’s going to be Magic Mike.” And we were like, “Okay.” And then Kate jokingly said, “Can we play Pony over the speakers?” And Em was like, “100%. We’ll make that happen.” She’s just delighted that we’re even interested in this idea. And so we go outside while they’re setting up and decide to look at a YouTube video of Jenna Dewan doing it on that show where they did— 

Sa’iyda: Oh, Lip Sync Battle. 

Jacqueline: Lip Sync Battle! And then we watched the original scene and we were like, “If we’re going to do it, let’s do it.” So then we just started doing it and we thought there was no chance it was going to make the episode because it’s so outrageous. We were like, “Whatever. They’ll use it for promo.” It was basically just Kate and I having a lot of fun, and then they worked it in. And I can’t believe it.

But as I continue to ask myself the question, “Can this be enough?” that resignation has started to shift into an acceptance, which on occasion is even joyful. As many have written before me, there are some serious perks of being single. I live my life on my terms, filling up my days however I want and doing the mundane things in life according to my own particular habits.
I have a vision of dyke domesticity that I want to harness in life, but sometimes the lines blur between that and something else, something not so queer at all. In retrospect, it was foolish to think I could master a cooking technique with a meat I’d never worked with before on the very first try. But isn’t that the image of the housewife, the hostest with the mostest that we’re always shown? She just *knows* how to do these things. Never mind the fact that I come from a family where the Thanksgiving turkey isn’t prepared by a woman at all, there’s still this idea I have deep down, this feral determination to prove that the girl who wore mismatched clothes, who didn’t fit into other people’s ideas of girlhood at all can now give the perfect performance of a housewife. Sometimes, I’m doing it for me. Other times, I don’t think I am.