Tag your age if you wanna bc I was just thinking about how I have used floppy disks before (I'm 25 and used them in elementary computer lab) but my 22 y.o. brother hasn't which is so weird to me like 3 years isn't a long time at all to me

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I wish this feeling upon everyone who wants to wear a dress, its really the best

this makes me so happy as a fat hairy guy who likes skirts and dresses i never get to see guys like me in dresses it’s always skinny twinks this makes me so happy 🥺🥺

If you are a larger gentleman, and wish to partake of the dress-wearing experience, please accept these tips to help fit your first dress!

1) You want something with stretch in it. Dresses are (often) built for people with boobs, and until you get familiar with how they fit your specific body, trying something super-stiff will 100% end in tears. I promise you, I am 32 years old, I have been wearing dresses all my life, and I still get pissed at dressing room mirrors because who the fuck designs some of these. There are fitted, tailored dresses designed by sane people who expect that their clothes will be worn by human beings, and they will make you look fine as fuck, but make your life easy and don’t start with them.

2) Dress sizes were designed by sixteen ferrets on crack and are not consistent between brands, styles, or vintage vs modern. Use them as a guideline, not a rule, and don’t let them upset you. Very often they’re adjusted in order to target a specific audience.

3) Lauren by Ralph Lauren is an amazing plus-size brand. Both of my fitted dresses are Lauren dresses, and that isn’t because I’m a label snob, it’s because I try on a dress that I think looks good and I go “YEEEEEEEEEESSSSS” and then pull it off and look at the label and go “ … . why am I surprised?” When you’re ready to branch out into fitted dresses, I strongly recommend finding your local Macy’s or Nordstrom and checking out their Lauren section. Even if you don’t buy anything from that section, it will give you a much better idea of how fitted dresses should look (flattering!) and feel (comfortable!).

4) Empire waists are your enemy. Those are the ones with the raised waistline that, on someone with boobs, sits right beneath said appendages. They will 1) ride up and 2) make you look pregnant, and without breasts to fill out the cups it’ll look like you don’t know how to fit your size. It does not matter who you are or how tall you are, if you’re above like a size four, empire waists are not going to be comfortable or give you the look you want. Just save yourself the time.

5) Arm holes on a sleeveless dress do not fit like arm holes on a tank top. They’re cut differently. Before you buy, MAKE SURE you cross your arms over your front and give yourself the biggest hug you can. Then put your arms behind you as far as you can. If you feel the fabric snag or chafe, you will end up wasting your money because the dress will be stupidly uncomfortable. You might be able to fix this by getting the same dress one size up, but if you choose to try one size up, prepare yourself for disappointment first. It’s often a sign of poor design or craftsmanship.

6) Part of trying on your dress should be SITTING DOWN. If this isn’t a dress you plan to wear with tights or leggings, you need to make sure it covers the backs of your thighs. (Either that, or you need to resign yourself to peeling yourself off chairs, and that fucking hurts.)

7) If you wear a mix of different underwear types, make sure you wear boxers when you go to try on dresses. Nothing will suck more than throwing on your dress and realizing you can see your shorts very easily underneath.

and if you don’t fit a dress you thought you would, don’t feel bad. it happens to girls all the time. dresses on average aren’t really made for anyone except really thin people.

Do I reblog this every time it crosses my dash? Yes, yes I do, because it contains helpful information for finding and trying on dresses, and EVERYONE deserves to try on dresses if they want.

My additional piece of advice? Damn near everyone, when trying on clothes, suddenly has Good Posture when they’re looking in the mirror. So give it a few minutes, then see how the dress feels when your body has relaxed into what your Regular Posture is.

good advice for anyone who might want to wear a dress. It’s not you, your body is not uniquely fucked up, the clothing industry has just done so much coke they design for a hanger and then lossy resize it and call it good.

I’m a shorty curvy pear-shaped woman. Dresses are often designed for tall skinny girls shaped like pillars. If you fond a dress that mostly fits except for a small part of it, go a size up and see a seamstress for alterations. If there’s a drag community in your area, look for a seamstress who works with/for them.

yeah i love Cobra Starship, especially their singer, [looks at smudged writing on hand] Gay Sportsbra

*touching your fandom-related tattoos* promise youll stop for me 🥺

fuck you

respect this or get the hell out of my life

op fuck you and look at my kermit tramp stamp

a bone is pretty much one of the best things you can throw me. curveballs probably the worst

Oh Scamp, those are REAL flowers, not frosting on a cake 😅

finger-licking good

and its ontological opposite:

toe-sucking evil

Colonel Sanders and Quinton Tarantino locked in mortal combat

did some amateur editing on two of my favorite pictures of samy and added some rainbow prism for pride 🏳️‍🌈

time to see if my old mpreg player works ahhh!!!

IT WORKS!!!!

MP3 PALYER

ready for the barbie movie

📸: caterpillar_girl

joelhokka story

full length after life of the party if you even care

there’s something about fall out boy being so genuinely excited to start this tour telling us it would be the biggest one yet and going on to play us surprise songs each night that either haven’t been performed in years or haven’t even been played live before leading for us all to band together and share all the information we can get our hands on to come up with theories and wait to see what happens because we’re excited that’s really getting to me right now. they shared their excitement with us and we are sharing it with each other. fall out boy is made of love and we are all sharing that love right now <3

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED

YOU KNOW THE HAIKU BOT???

OFC YOU DO

YOU KNOW THAT MESSAGE HE PUTS AT THE END OF EVERY POST????

"Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up."

YEAH???????

WELL THATS A HAIKU TOO

Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.

NOW YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THATS NOT THE CUTEST THNIG YOUVE EVER HEARD

“Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

It’s full circle now. He did it, by god he did. What a little champ.

It’s full circle now.

He did it, by god he did.

What a little champ.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

cobra starship is good for you like nutritious vegetable

Sound on

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