Ajax, he/it
25+
I pretty much only reblog things.
If you want see my other blogs, @detective-directory is where you can find links to the others.
shoot me an ask if you want a random one-winged angel cover (varies in quality and seriousness)
Weibo article that dives into the origin of the trend and provides a perspective from the other side:
一块吐司，几片芝士，加上一些生菜或水果，一股“清心寡欲”风扑面而来。而这简单无味的搭配，正是一些外国人的正常午餐。
"A slice of bread, a piece of cheese, piece of raw vegetable or fruit: you're blasted by a cleansing gust of ascetic wind. This simple and flavorless pairing is actually the everyday lunch of some foreigners."
Image text: "White people food"
中国网友还给这样的饮食方式起了一个名，叫做”白人饭“（white people food）。所谓的白人饭特点就是，“冷的“、”素的”、”分量少的“，基本上就是”花最少的功夫准备，仅仅能维系基本器官正常运作“的食物（require the least amount of effort to substain vital signs）。
"Chinese netizens have given this cuisine a name, '白人饭' (white people food). "The characteristics of so-called white people food are 'cold,' 'vegetarian,' 'small portions,' and truly 'requiring the least amount of effort to sustain vital signs' food."
也就是说，白人饭的食材都是那种能生吃就绝不开锅，调味料单一，不是盐和黑胡椒，就是能够直接添加的蛋黄酱或番茄酱。一开始，白人饭这个梗是由住在国外的中国网友传起来的。起因是因为他们在社交媒体上晒出了自己的白人同事带的午餐——几根生胡萝卜和一些生菠菜。
"In other words, white people's food is the kind that doesn't involve cooking, with just one kind of seasoning, if not salt and pepper, then just the direct addition of mayonnaise or ketchup. "Originally, the concept of white people food started with Chinese netizens living overseas. It was because they used social media to expose their white coworkers' lunches — a few carrots and some raw spinach."
OP's tweet reads: "This is my coworker's lunch. A few carrots and some spinach. They already have the ability to produce their own energy without eating food."
Comment 1: "I think since they like suntanning so much, they must be using photosynthesis"
Comment 2: "They depend on therapists to keep them alive"
不知真相围观的群众可能还会误以为这是刚刚洗好准备切和下锅的食材.... 而习惯了“午饭也要吃热饭热菜”的中国网友们在看到自己的白人同事午饭居然吃这个，都感到不可思议。
"Unknowing spectators may mistakenly think that these are freshly washed vegetables about to be chopped and cooked. While Chinese netizens, accustomed to 'lunch means a hot meal', view their white coworkers' lunches as unimaginable."
OP's tweet reads: "My Danish coworker brought something new again. No spinach today, just two carrots and a pepper. They're evolving."
Comment: "Why do they eat like they're putting gas in their cars. Pour it in to be able to go"
OP's tweet reads: "my coworkers lunch is a whole cauliflower! First time I've seen a whole cauliflower eaten with a knife and fork after being cooked. He was even surprised that I'd never seen that before. These people haven't lived"
OP's tweet reads: "The simplicity of Australian white people food. Everyone knows that Australian white people food is super simple, but when I saw my coworker's lunch I was still shocked. Mushrooms from the supermarket, straight from the box, added directly to a wrap. I asked him whether mushrooms can be eaten raw. He said he'd been eating them raw for years and was doing fine."
Comment: "Pretty normal. They even eat green beans raw. 20 years ago, the people at my bro's place even ate yuanxiao [glutinous rice dough dumplings] uncooked. Anyways, I feel like foreigners don't like eating food unless they're about to starve. If they could live on alcohol, they definitely wouldn't eat at all"
Image text: "Lunch: a head of raw lettuce wrapped around some ham with mustard drizzled on top"
OP's tweet reads: "I guess I've seen the pinnacle of white people food today. The locals always come up with new moves to surprise me"
而反过来，海外的中国网友只是把自己一份普通的午饭带到公司加热，都会引起外国同事的围观和震惊。
"On the other hand, Chinese people living overseas only have to heat up in a normal lunch at the office to invoke the shock and awe of their foreign coworkers."
OP's tweet reads: "Re: about my lunch shocking my white coworkers. Everyone knows that white people don't have taste buds, they only eat to stay alive. "Coworker A: porridges. Oats + honey + milk + salt + microwave for 3 min. "Coworker B: some kind of canned rice + canned tuna, microwave for 2 min. "Coworker C: pita bread with dip; with a couple of cherry tomatoes/cucumber. "Coworker D: mini pizza: base + sauce + cheese, baked "I've been here for most of one year, these guys eat the same thing every day. But today was different, today everyone brought food, a boxed proper meal: pasta. But I'm the undefeated mystical Oriental lady, made a whole table [of food] appear in the blink of an eye."
在国内，午饭要吃饱这个概念早已深入人心，而且习惯每顿都要吃米饭面条等主食。但在欧美国家，他们的午饭一般都会吃得比较简单清淡，而且他们也没有午觉的习惯，所以吃得清淡也有助于集中精力，不容易犯困，而且也比较省时间。所以这样饮食差异也给网友们带来了文化冲击。 更有趣的是，最近“白人饭”这个词已经从一个梗变成了大家纷纷效仿的饮食方式，网友还开始各种钻研白人饭，表示仿佛打开了新世界的大门。
"In China, the concept of a filling lunch is deeply ingrained in people's minds, as well as the habit of having a staple of rice or noodles etc. with every meal. But in Europe and the US, lunches are usually simple and light, and they don't have the custom of taking a siesta, so eating lightly helps maintain focus, prevent drowsiness, and save time. And so, these dietary differences have led to culture shock. "What's more interesting is, recently the phrase 'white people food' has spread to become a style of cuisine that everyone is imitating. Netizens have begun a deep dive into all different kinds of white people food. It's like a door has been opened into a new world."
OP's tweet reads: "After entering a state of 'eating to stay alive', I found out white people food is actually good. Ate the same thing every day and didn't puke. I just play on my phone a bit and the food is ready. It's sustenance, that's all."
Commenter: "After you give up on the pursuit of flavor, the world will open up to you. Cold vegetables + chicken breast are so good."
随着这个梗的火热，“白人饭”在国内出圈的事情，居然还传到外网去了。而国外网友的反应也是够逗的。一位网友在推特上发推表示，
Following this trend going viral, "white people food" got spread to the foreign web. Foreign netizens' reactions were too funny. One user tweets:
而外国网友不但没有感到被冒犯，反而是早已接受了“白人饭”这个设定，甚至有时候连自己都忍不住吐槽。 "Not only were foreigners not offended, they've long since accepted the designation of "white people food", even going so far as to mock it themselves.
而听说中国网友也兴起了吃白人饭之后，白人网友也不吝赐教，开始分享地道的白人饭做法。
"After hearing about Chinese interest in white people food, white people didn't hesitate to offer instruction and started sharing recipes for authentic white people food."
I got somewhat offended by this post because like. I have eaten amazing sandwiches without the need to cook a thing or just quickly warmed up, and these pictures are... Sad. Actually sad. But I'm a white person that eats white person food and I promise my meals do not look like this. I'd never recover from depression if I did.
Then again this is Italy, we have good food. I admit I'm afraid of sandwiches in some other 'white' countries
this is kinda funny and a lot depressing. because the reason so many people eat like this regularly is capitalism through and through
good quality food is expensive. 30 minute unpaid breaks or the expectation of eating at ur desk for maximum productivity (i work in hospitality in england and a lot of my coworkers shorten their breaks to the absolute minimum amount of time necessary to scarf down a meal- in order to get that 30 extra minutes of pay)
rampant individualism makes it unusual to share household labour such as cooking and we dont have time or energy to cook as much as we would like to. a lot of people never get taught cooking skills by their parents even if the parents do have time and energy to teach their children.
trash beauty standards that give everyone eating disorders. trash diet culture (in england chains now have to include calorie counts on their menus)
i have lived in france, canada, and england, and even the cultural difference between a french lunch, where businesses close for 1-3 hours and straight up the food quality is just better, vs canadian or english cultural norms of the 30 minute meal break, the lack of labour protections… its abysmal
Consumed by Hatred
Continuing to experiment with this, trying out some renders in my 8in crt
literally can’t stop this abt this like the love that went into this.
theyer old enough that they used to connect
They're older than Florida. The Floridian peninsula is the solidified runoff of the Appalachians that got caught on some coral. It's why we're like this, I think. You don't stand a chance of being normal when you were created by the shed skin of an elder god draping itself over a hollow skeleton. You're always going to be a little Off.
manhole on the street?????!!?? oh you mean the. oh. well that's lame
using tumblr mobile and seeing people talk about a desktop layout change is like hearing a timer suddenly start ticking down. I am safe for now but I hear the danger
Why is this heat so hot 😩
It’s the heat
Source?
hey chicagoans
I think I overestimated how many Chicagoans this blog reaches
reblog for Chicagoan exposure
yeahhh I lied.
one more time, HAPPY MOON LANDING DAY!
aaand gooodnight.
Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.
Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.
Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.
You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.
As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.
Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.
This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.
A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.
Reader discretion is advised. The following text contains references to: Mind control, slavery, and a related physically and mentally coerced relationship.
If any of these things upset or disturb you, please do not continue.
batshitman
Batman may be a vital, irreplaceable founding member of the Justice League, but he will absolutely ditch all the meetings to spend time with his children. He's got his priorities straight. Somebody merely implies he could possibly reschedule a day at the zoo with Dick and he immediately threatens to stop funding the Watchtower
One time, there was a mandatory meeting with the Justice League but Cass’s recital was the same day and time. Bruce silenced his phone and watched his daughter danced. He had zero regrets that night. He took multiple pictures, gave her a dozen roses, and the whole family went out to eat. It was a wonderful night.
Me when I'm puppy (Spent too much energy digging and doing puppy things
10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.
AAAND WE HAVE LIFTOFF!
HAPPY MOON LANDING DAY!!!
adhd kindred who has 30 ghouls who also have adhd so they can have adderall everyday without overfeeding on any specific mortal. there is no haven quite so disorganized as 30 ghouls girlrotting interspersed with breathtaking productivity
"wah wah, why dont they just break the law? why do they all need valid prescriptions?" this kindred is providing jobs to cringefail women with biting kinks and you complain? do you hate me?