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Sideswipe's my guardian

@autobotphoenix / autobotphoenix.tumblr.com

All the random fitness, scenery, and nerd stuff that I love. And the random animal photos that I take and then post. But mostly, I don't even know anymore
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yautjaapologist
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roguemonsterfucker
Anonymous asked:

I saw your post about how yautja don't have a context for human injures and don't know what's serious and what's not and it make me laugh because we humans are kinda nonsensical with that stuff. Like, you're a yautja and you find yourself a soft, squishy and rather weak human. They can barely lift up weigt of their own body while exercising, but the other day they get an adrenaline rush and with no hesistation they lift up something several times heavier than them. Ok. Weird but acceptable 1

roguemonsterfucker answered:
body function. The other day your human put a foot on the ground in a funny way and their whole ankle SHATTERS. They fall and broke a few more things. Some time after that they fall from a pretty high hill and are rolling through stones, roots, branches and tress. At the bottom they jump to their feet yelling I"M OK. They're just mildly scratched and yeah, they're perfectly ok. What the fuck. Other time they run to you crying leaving a trial of blood after them, their whole arm is in blood 2
You're checking them and find a pretty shallow but long cut on skin. Nothing serious. Human skin is amazing at healing, but the amount of blood is concerning. Maybe that's just how it works. While being patched up your human, untill now not really agressive, really want's to shoot someting called tetanus. You have no idea what's that, maybe an animal that cut them. The next thing that you learned something new about human anatomy was during some unexpected and rather unfortunate event - it's a 3
fucking appendix and it's a bitch. You have no idea how this species is still going and doing well. Maybe your human is a different species than those vile ones that are capable of butchering an experienced hunter. Who knows. Your human just dislocated their shoulder and don't know how that happened so you need to fix that. Your human is looking at you with such adoration it's unreal. They say that they would fight god for you. You want to assure them that such thing is unnecesary and that 4
they're way too weak and for sure would die immediately, but on the other hand - humans are already so goddamn weird so this as well might happen? Taking care of a human is a fucking rollercoaster and they're keeping you on your toes all the times. They're screaming like a wraith, so it's a broken bone and it's outside their body or they just saw very round and fat animal, who know, not you. 5
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galedakarios
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southfarthing

love it when you reach the end of all the horrors and joys of the lord of the rings and you're reminded against your will of the grima wormtongue hobbit-eating conspiracy. love that

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southfarthing

WHERE'S LOTHO

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reblogged

*The Artisan noticed your yautja oc and wants them to be her next muse*

I miss drawing my yautja-verse sona

I was on a roll last night so I drew my fav ocxcanon ship Wolf/Artisan 🥺💕

If there’s one thing Wolf is annoyed by is how much of a workaholic his mate is (tho he can convince her to take a break when need be 😏)

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predalien

I love Wolf and all… but Artisan. Look at her.

“Hey Wolf, is your wife single?” 😩🖤

Wolf says no 😭 but I’m glad y’all find Artisan to be cute

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sepulchritude
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mapsontheweb

The United States — ALL of it

aside from hawaii, all those places circled in red in the ocean are places taxed by the US that are not represented in congress, places that cannot vote in our elections, etc.

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vectorwave756
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chekplaysminecraft

Theory Time

The reason endermen don’t like it when you look at them is because they communicate telepathically with one another by locking eyes! Humans are absolutely not designed to do this so when we look at them we are accidentally projecting all of our thoughts into them at the same time and it hurts :(

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ice-block

But like, since the player is not of the Minecraft world, the player is just what the use to explore it, what if it’s like:

Enderman: *looks at player’s eyes*

Player: 01010010 01100001 00100000 01110010 01100001 00100000 01010010 01100001 01110011 01110000 01110101 01110100 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01010010 01110101 01110011 01110011 01101001 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110001 01110101 01100101 01100101 01101110 00100000 01101111 01101000 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01101101 01100001 01101110

Enderman: oh ok *attacks player*

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viostormcaller

This kills me every single fucking time