I spent like 15 hours on this.

*impressed slow clap*

This was ridiculously pleasing to read out loud. 

This is a legitimately fine poem. I say so with my BA in English and Philosophy and my PhD. It’s DAMN HARD to write something like this. Be impressed, yo.

Transcript of poem in screenshot:

First the cracker batter baker bakes a cracker batter batch then the cracker batter mixer door will open and unlatch so the batter mixer nozzle can descend onto the patch where the cracker batter spreads out for the nozzle to attach.

When the cracker mixer nozzle sprays the cracker batter spray and the cracker batch emulsion lies a-soaking in its haze then the cracker batter mixer starts to stir up all the glaze that the final cracker stacker needs to lubricate the way.

Once the cracker stacker handle stacks the cracker batter squares then the cracker batter’s hardened into double stacks of pairs. Now the cracker separator breaks the crackers in the stackers so the wrappers on the stackers fit the finished stacking crackers. Then they’re distributed to Wal-Mart.

I forgot about this magnificent poem, and you probably did too. Here it is again.

I highly recommend trying to read it aloud, it feels delightful and is almost impossible.

Try reading it outloud. I dare you

What is the difference between a cathedral and a physics lab? And they not both saying: Hello?

— J.R.R. Tolkien, from The Return of the King

*BLEEP*

wow it really bleep

computer open. Computer show me fictional guy

[ID: A screenshot of Captain Picard at a replicator with dialogue edited to read "Computer. Fictional guy. Hot." /End ID]

your friends love you, your brain is just mean

The only good thing staff added recently

Mutuals we are doing this

rb to rotate prev mutual in your mind

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

We’ll find you Amanda.

this has almost 11 million notes what is this

I’ve never seen this post once in 10 years on this site

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

I’ve never even heard of this before tho??? Wtf??????????

oh my god, I didn’t think there were any surviving versions of this post left

For those who weren’t around in the Deep Lore times, this is one of the relics of the editable post era. This post has THE SINGLE HIGHEST NOTES of ANY post on this site, bar none, but with more than a dozen variations. Every single post you’ve ever seen with more than 3 million notes has been a different version of this one.

This is the “Dean’s Gym Shorts” post. This is the Flubber post. This is the original “Reblog if you support gay people” post. it was ALL of them. before half the site got nuked, it had even more notes than it has now - at one point, well over 15 million, and that was years ago.

This, with no exaggeration, is the ONE TRUE heritage post

World Heritage Post

huh??

@freckled-fate

Via @korvys​ (Twitter)

I’m glad humans evolved to Boop the Snoot for Good Luck.

glowing as though holy

You were overtaken by the ghost of Rasputin himself, and he was so excited about the concept of posting something on the internet that he forgot his to spell his own name.

Ah, dang it, I got possessed AGAIN?!!! I gotta make some calls.

i always mean it when i say i love you btw

‘but thats a stranger you dont know’ and i love them. i love that they exist and i love that they passed through my life. and i love u too btw

reblog to tell your mutuals you love them for existing

my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring

*holds your head in my hands* im sorry i let you down

Here’s some fossilized coral.

tumblr says not everyone uses tumblr so here's a poll to prove to tumblr just how tumblr using people are

wow it seems tumblr users are evenly split on whether they use tumblr or not! reblog for a larger sample size.

you know those posts about the trope of a character showing up injured at their enemy's door saying "i didn't know where else to go" [often to the reply of "who did this to you"]?

Gospel imagery, is all i'm saying.