sarah.

the greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet

why’d you get banned?

touched the rat

what rat

chunky cheese

Honestly I’m both sides of this conversation

this is so me lmao

i drank ocean water as a prank and now my pee is silver

why

as a prank

So I was filtering through twitter and was really confused by this:

It just didn’t seem real. Did everyone get put in the box?

Yes. Yes they did.

I couldn’t stop laughing at how many people got shoved into the box. There’s a 3 minute video how what happened at the bottom of the sbnation link here.

Here’s the link to the video if anyone else couldn’t find it 

Don’t fuck around & lose someone you can’t replace.

CAPTCHA  1: check this box

CAPTCHA 2: select all the rivers

CAPTCHA 3: which of these tiny pictures has an apple in it

CAPTCHA 4: can you find where you went wrong in your life

CAPTCHA 5: select the reasons why my wife left me

current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across my queen size bed

Teacher: ok guys for this assignment, you need you to have a partner

My antisocial ass:

I’m only happy when it rains by Louis Dazy

it pisses me off when i get customers at my job who tell me “at least it’s FRIDAY” like..no?? it is at best my Wednesday like are you from a magical world where everybody gets a weekend? fuck you

I’m laughing bc in food and retail fridays are the beginning of the three hell days

i make ya man wanna speak spanish

Italian*👼

make ur own sphagetti ass post giada de laurentis

emotions? just throw those right out! we’re having lasagna for breakfast