Atan Orofarnë

(via)

Medieval combs (click to enlarge)

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

ok children gather 'round because all of these kindof have the same answer and I am way too passionate about this subject and the history behind it that I physically cannot remain silent about it

So if you were a 90's kid like me, you grew up with this film on VHS. if you were also like me, then you probably remember it very differently from how it was released recently both in blu-ray and on streamer formats and probably were freaking out thinking this was some kind of mandela effect for years: and THIS IS BECAUSE. THERE IS A CRUCIAL SCENE MISSING. AND LITERALLY I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. THE TWO MINUTES CUT KINDOF CHANGE THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF THE WHOLE MOVIE??? and allow me to explain why.

That video above it the Deleted Song "When Love is Gone" was ONLY EVER featured on the VHS release of The Muppet Christmas Carol that came out through the 90's. Why? because initially, some uppity disney executive market tested it and went "kids are gonna get antsy with that and not like it" so they cut it then for the theatrical release, but then Brian Henson (director, son of JIM) somehow managed to get it into the VHS cut of the film. Kinda went rogue about it if memory serves. Now, as a child, this was kindof... a huge part of the movie for me? like I remember listening to it and crying a bit as a kid because this one song is just... so emotional? like seriously. other than the fact that it's being sung by Meredith Braun (who at one point played Eponine in Les Mis, and you gotta have some SERIOUS pipes to do that) AND Michael Cain, and it's a love song in a way, like it's very clear that she still cares for Ebenezer but she recognizes that her love for him is different than his love for her and she has to leave him, meanwhile THE MAN IS BEHIND HER CRYING AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN SEE HIM AND CLEARLY IT'S THE BIGGEST REGRET HE HAS And honestly? That's a HUGE part of what made it stand out for me as a child. Like. The muppets themselves were all fun and good but then you have this song for a second... and it really feels true to the dickensian spirit guiding the whole film, and it's what's made it to me the most true to form adaptation of his yet. It's phenomenal. And this dumbass disney exec said "it's too adult emotional for the kids" (an argument that always has and will always continue to be completely fucking stupid).

So then what happened? why didn't they put it in the DVD and Blu Ray releases that have come out throughout the years? Well, literally DISNEY LOST THE FOOTAGE. APPARENTLY. so when they went to restore it and reformat it for those releases AND THEN SUBSEQUENTLY for the streamer release, it was literally missing. and Brian Henson has been asking them to look for YEARS. FINALLY they found it back in 2020, and then only last year did they upload the fully restored version that you see me ranting and raving about.

"But Egg", you ask, "why does this matter? What does this small 2 minute sequence change about this movie SO MUCH that it merits a huge ass post about it that is making people confused?"

Because let me tell you friends. Belle does not seem very significant and kindof pointless to flashback to without that song. It's like ok. she's there. She tells Ebenezer she's breaking up with him. and then... THE MUPPETS CRY ABOUT IT??? and that's it. That's all you get. you don't get any of the sense of how deeply this affected this guy- the LITERAL PROTAGONIST THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT. And it's all because, again, say it with me folks: the dipshit disney executive said "It's Too Emotional For Children".

Not ONLY that. But THIS SONG IS LITERALLY THE REPRISE THEY SING AT THE END OF THE FILM. WHICH. LET ME TELL YOU. IT'S FUCKING WEIRD FOR THAT TO LITERALLY COME OUT OF NOWHERE COMPLETELY LEFT FIELD AS A NEW SONG AT THE END. Like it makes no sense. ok sappy sentimental "the love we found" all right. BUT REMEMBER. THE ORIGINAL LYRIC IS "LOVE IS GONE". IT'S SYMMETRY. IT'S POETRY. IT'S FUCKING VITAL. An the movie is good as it is but literally trust me this makes it infinitely better when you see it as a whole. Please. Just trust me on this. Thank you and goodnight. oh yeah and here's a decent article that talks about it and that shall serve as my source for a lot of this

you're welcome

The Mouse... lost something that would make It money? WTF. (eyeroll)

(Disclosure: I have taken the Mouse's money and in return for it did good work that I'm still pleased with, in a universe I'd loved since childhood; so, as we say around here, "sorry, Not Sorry." Yet all the people I was working with at Disney in the late 80s were well aware of the Rodent's more greedy-and-grasping qualities. "They didn't get so rich by overpaying their writers," was one theme that made the rounds a lot.)

Anyway; I can't imagine this movie without that song. The pain is necessary for the full joy later. Seek out the full version if you can.

ETA for European viewers (and maybe others, who knows): On Disney+, the "Extras" page for "The Muppet Christmas Carol" now explicitly offers both the excised song (as a standalone) and the version with the excised song.

I just want it on Blu-ray. So I can purchase it and not have a risk that "The Mouse" decides to hide it or memory hole it at some point.

introducing my four year old niece to the concept of "moral dilemmas" by telling her that i'm a monster that eats children and that i know it's wrong but i'm so so so hungry and everything else tastes yucky. i've tried all the human food in the world and it all tastes so yucky i can't even eat it. i can only eat children and i'm so hungry

her resolution was that if i meet a kid that has the same name as their sibling, then i can eat one of them. their parents won't be sad, because they have another kid with the same name right there. speaks to an uninformed but fascinating worldview

Happy duck Thursday everyone!

Okay, I was just going to reblog this without commentary, but I can't keep this to myself. I'm a PhD student in environmental science and this is my fucking highway.

The first published study about climate change (that I am aware of-- feel free to point out if there's an older one) is an 1896 paper by Svante Arrhenius. He pointed out the link between the greenhouse effect and changes in atmospheric CO2.

Plate tectonics, which the geoscience community now recognizes as near indisputable, was a fringe theory until about the 1960s.

Just in case anyone thought that climate change was a "recent fad" in research.

please read the best twitter story i’ve seen all week

bringing this back because it becomes possibly funnier the second (third forth) time around

oh my god

This is one of the epics. :)

watching a video on brewing Mesopotamian beer and look at this orange man (his ass cannot guard the barley)

i bend sexily over my lab bench to jot down a data point but my assistant doesn’t notice because they’re too busy drawing little faces on the test tubes and making them kiss

JASON X (2001) dir. James Isaac

Enjoy it while it lasts, Canada and Philadelphia.

A woman came into my work a little while ago loudly complaining about her (perfectly well-behaved) son, saying how he was ten years old and didn't know how to listen, and I nodded along like "yeah I totally remember being that age", and she looks at me and goes, "no, seriously, he's Autistic," and I spread my arms and go, "Hey, same! Twinsies!"

And this woman's eyes. My God, it was beautiful. She goes, "Really? And they let you WORK here?"

And then she turns back to her kid to nag at him and over her shoulder little dude and and I make what I can only describe as the purest form of eye contact I have ever experienced in my life

She snapped at him to stop running around and hold still so I froze in place like a terrified statue and he copied me and we both grinned and he's my favourite customer now

One experience that has not changed my whole life is the joyous vindication that comes from an adult communicating to a kid that yeah, you're not stupid, this other adult just needs to untwist their pants

this post just made a full trip back to my dash and reading it over again two years later I feel the need to add that when this happened I was working as uniformed security personnel

and I really really hope that the memory of "person in position of authority thinks that you're doing great and your mom is wrong about you" sticks in their head for when they need it most

Oh it gets better. So when this was reported to the cops it was reported as ‘female screams and a man shouting why won’t you die!?’

When cops arrived on the scene to investigate they found the ONLY occupant of the home was the man who was trying to kill a spider in his home. The source of the ‘female’ screams was this guy.

Sprucie Saturday!

Fausto Zonaro. Moonlight

My friend sent me this screencap from reddit and I can't get over how normal this reply would feel on tumblr

Every time I go downstairs to the laundry room, this pigeon tries to seduce me.

“we have incompatible genitals” is now my favorite excuse.

Reblog if you have incompatible genitals