hutch

What if we hyperfixated together? 😗 JK JK… unless- 😏

One thing I love about Tumblr compared with other social media is how absurdly obsessed everyone around here is with random anniversaries. Something interesting happens on Tumblr? Someone's make a post that goes viral? There is a funny discussion in the comments? Tumblr has a big outage? We have a new Tumblrversary! The coming years people will massively reblog stuff from that day wishing everyone else a happy <random> August 27th</random>.

On SLACK you did this on your WORK CHANNEL conceivably at WORK?????

i work at [tumblr] lol

Masterlist

| REQUESTED, being fed up with Ino, unedited

| "Hey, sorry to bother you." "You're not bothering me! Why would you think that?"

Word Count: 792

“Hey, sorry to bother you.”

You look up with wide eyes from the garden bed. You quickly shake your head upon seeing who it is and smile reassuringly at him. "You're not bothering me! Why would you think that?"

You sit back on your heels, pulling your hands out of the dirt and brushing your hands off rather unceremoniously on your pants.

He doesn’t look as if he believes you, taking in your slightly startled expression as annoyance. He’d been sent to gather some herbs and simply hands you the list Ino had passed him. “I seem to bother everyone else…” He clears his throat and nods to the list in your hand now, “I can help, I just… I’m unfamiliar with two of those herbs there.”

Your heart aches at his answer but with his change of subject, you don’t really have time to think or react to what he’s said. You glance at the list, only for your face to contort in confusion.

“What?”

“These two don’t exist… At least now in our region. We can’t even recreate the climate here that they need to grow. That’s how fickle they are.” You look up at him, expecting him to be indifferent only to see that he was rather annoyed.

“Oh now I see why she sent me here.” It was like a lightbulb had just gone off in his head. The real reason Ino had been asking specifically him to hand everything the last few weeks. She’s made excuses that Shikamaru refused, which he probably had, and that Choji would taste test everything, which he probably would.

He couldn’t blame her for asking someone else, but he now realizes the real reason to choose him had a lot to do with his crush on you. On someone he didn’t get along with at first because you’d threatened to spray pesticides in the greenhouse if you caught anymore of his bugs munching on your precious flowers. But over time, he grew more fond of you and you of him and his bugs.

“Huh?”

“Ino. She sent me on purpose this time. She has to have the knowledge that you wouldn’t have these two.” He runs a hand over his face before taking the list back from you, turning to leave the greenhouse without another word.

The next time you see him is days later. You’re tending to one of the hanging plants in the back of the greenhouse when you hear his footsteps on the gravel behind you. You sigh, expecting to see anyone else but him after he’d stormed off. “Oh, Shino!”

“Sorry to bother you.”

“You’re not a bother. I really wish you’d stop calling yourself that.” You glance at the folded up strip of paper in his hand. “Let me guess. Another wild goose hunt from Ino?” You smile and hold a hand out for the paper, expecting him to hand it over. When he doesn’t, you tilt your head confused. “What’s wrong?”

“I couldn’t… I know I wouldn’t be able to find the words to explain this to you. So I wrote it down, but Ino said my handwriting was too sloppy so she rewrote it for me. I’m not good with words, I hope you understand. But I want you to wait to read this. Wait until I’m gone. I’ll be back in two weeks from my mission and I hope to have a positive reaction from you.”

He hands the note over and leaves without a word. You’re stunned. He never usually talks that much during a visit. Then again, that’s not where your focus should be. It should be on the note in your hand.

Just like he asked, you don’t open the note until he’s left the Village. You sit on a dirtied bench in the greenhouse, unfolding the piece of paper and gasping as you read the confession from the man.

On the day the man was set to return, you’re waiting at the gates, pacing back and forth for the most part, awaiting his arrival back home to the village. You’d taken the day off from the greenhouse, opting to dress nice for the man despite the fact that he’d probably be in a less than favorable condition, smelly and covered in grime.

In his letter, he’d asked you to wait at the gates on the designated date and time he would return if you felt the same way about him that he felt about you. So when he sees you standing there, bickering quietly with Naruto who’d attempted to get into the basket of treats you prepared for Shino twice now, he can’t help the smile that forms on his face. The first of many during his time with you.

Lagoona Blue calling someone a cunt

this is my favorite addition by a mile. I am now glad that I made this post

Superman is like. outwardly identical to a human but are his Internals the same as a human?? what’s the situation there. i think it would be very funny if his insides were totally different personally.

like it’s just as well he’s invulnerable bcos if he ever had to go to a doctor it would be a disaster. what if one time he did manage to get hurt while doing superhero stuff & they had to take chest x-rays… he’s just sitting there poker-faced while the doctors try to figure out what they’re even looking at

Doctor: …

Superman: …

Doctor: so uh this is…?

Superman: my liver

Superman: well it’s not actually a liver but it does basically the same thing as a human liver so I call it my liver

Doctor: okay

Doctor: and this one?

Superman: best as I can tell that doesn’t do anything

Doctor: huh. And uh. This thing over here?

Superman: heck if I know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Doctor:

*later*

*there are now like 7 doctors gathered around his x-rays*

Superman: uh guys I’m sure this must be really interesting for you but could we focus on the matter at hand please

Oh man do I have good news for you, so dc released a book called anatomy of metahumans and in it they reveal the anatomy of our boy Clark, just so you can have an idea here are some screenshots showing Clark’s internal organs:

So, yes, Clark is really fucked up inside thanks for coming to my Ted talk

oh i am DELIGHTED to learn that this is canon

So what you’re telling me is if Clark Kent went to the doctor as a kid, Ma Kent absolutely made threats against lives if the told anyone about her boy.

That or she and Pa Kent forged vaccination and doctor’s visit documents for him.

Conflict resolution

Burning some steel wool [x]

oh yea.h yeah yess yeah t.hat is the. the good shit yessssd

Sometimes

People just want to watch the wool burn.

SIR.

i think it's fucked up that there are plants that decided they wanted to eat meat

a plant's job is literally to just exist but the venus flytrap chose violence

what if i gently laid an uncooked steak on the soil for it to absorb

my tree biology teacher fed her calcium-deficient tree a whole-ass bbq rib bone - she stuck it in the ground near the base of the tree (after eating the meat off of it), and when she came back to collect it to show the tree biology class it was GONE

the tree had grown a root up through the center of it & out through the sides

also there’s an old story about a man who was buried beneath a tree, and when they went to exhume the body it had been completely absorbed by the tree’s roots- you could see the shape of the body in the way the roots grew, splitting up for clearly defined arms and legs. trees will absolutely eat a steak if you bury it & they need the nutrients.

that’s horrifying! thank you

(last reblog) pigs, sheep, goats. there’s just something relatable about the very specific brand of violence hoofed creatures exert.