relationships are healthier when the goal is to experience life together and not to try to make the person into who you want them to be or to make them do what you want them to do
The older we get, the more we realize who our real friends are. It's not always about who has known us the longest, it's about who makes us feel seen, heard, understood, appreciated, supported, and loved.
Poems about Mothers & Motherhood by POC
ok this is mostly just a resource for me because i’ve been trying to write about my relationship with my mother & consequently ended up reading a lot of poetry about motherhood but i thought i’d share with the class so enjoy!!
i’ve seen how detrimental basing your entire identity around a person can be. the moment you identify yourself as someone’s girlfriend, mother, whatever, you are truly shooting yourself in the foot. nothing screams codependency more than getting joy through the existence of somebody else. especially w how volatile humans are. it’s the very definition of not having security in yourself
people get so defensive about this topic and immediately go “people are not ISLANDS” like that’s literally not the point. i refuse to rely on somebody else for happiness, and i love being around people. these things can coexist. not wanting to rely on people does not mean you’re dooming yourself to solitariness. it’s more so that people are shaky by nature. they always ebb and flow. and whenever they do, you find yourself spiraling bc the foundation of your being (a person) just shifted. it just doesn’t work. that’s where the healthy idea of self-love comes from: from having that foundation in yourself. everyone else just builds off of it, rather than build it
the restorative power of nature, aka the “go outside and touch grass” compilation
(1 and 9: The Nature Fix, Florence Williams; 2: tweet by down2marss; 3: tumblr post by @llleighsmith; 4: Illuminated Streaks Appear to Fall from Trees in Light Paintings, Vitor Schietti; 5: This Matter of Culture, Jiddu Krishnamurti; 6: Letter to Family, Friends, and Editors, Franz Kafka; 7: discord message sent to me; 8: photo i took at a beach in 2018)
sometimes i wish i could grab my childhood self and shake them by the shoulders and say YOU'RE GOOD. YOU'RE WORTH LOVING. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHOSE LIVES ARE MADE BETTER BECAUSE OF YOU. YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. YOU ARE NOT DAMNED. SOMEDAY YOU WILL CRY OVER SUNSETS AND POETRY MORE THAN YOUR OWN PAIN. I NEED YOU TO REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE GOOD. YOU'RE WORTH LOVING. but i can't go back in time, so i say it to myself now. because i believe there's a future version of me looking back on this moment feeling the exact same way.
{astro notes; pt. 6}
• Asteroid Juno •
[Long post ahead; Juno in the signs and houses!]
I wanted to get back to discussing asteroids for quite some time now, and I felt like this is the perfect placement to start again. Asteroid Juno (3) has been a very popular asteroid for a lot of people who wanted to know more about their Future Spouses.
However, it is imperative to know that Asteroid Juno (3) is not the end-all-be-all determinant for your Future Spouse’s characteristics. If anything, this asteroid is all about what you want or seek in a potential Future Spouse. It is what you believe is right for you, your preference, your standards, and what traits they have that attracts you to them.
In this post, I’ll be discussing both the sign and house your Asteroid Juno (3) is in, and what it means for your potential relationships that could lead to marriage or life-long partnership.
• Part 1: In the signs •
Juno in Aries
- The first group of people with this placement are those who act in a dominating way during first impressions. These natives want to know if potential partners have what it takes to handle their fiery and strong energies. The second group are those who want a partner who is dominating and assertive in nature! They might purposely play coy and damsels-in-distress to see how those potential partners react. They need to see what the other person will do, or how they react to certain situations — if the potential partner can be as assertive as they are. And lastly, the third group is a mixture of the first and second groups. They might swing back and forth with their dominating, self-reliant attitude, to becoming a passive spectator in the next moment.
- Out of all the placements, this may be the one who does not want to marry after all. These people’s self-reliance and confidence in their own company may overpower their desire for romantic partnerships. (I have this placement, so I know the struggle of this particular placement very well).
Juno in Taurus
- People with Juno in Taurus are a lot of good things, but above all else, they are the ones looking for safety and security in a partner the most! Depending on which house this asteroid is placed, people with this placement tend to look for “something” from a potential partner; may it be financial stability, emotional maturity, creativity, being good with kids, or maybe a free spirit. But people with Juno in Taurus usually would want their potential significant other to tick off the boxes on their “standards list,” so most people would dub them as choosy or picky.
- However, these natives tend to be happiest when their partner is providing them that personal brand of safety and security (according to what they actually want). I’ve observed that most people with this placement have a soft spot for when they’re being given personalized gifts by their partners or potential partners. It makes them feel very thought of, and that their partner is truly thinking about them when acquiring that present.
Juno in Gemini
- Juno in Gemini natives crave intellectual connection the most. It might sound cliché for a Gemini/Mercurian placement, but the truth is that no matter how attractive a person is, it won’t truly matter to a Juno in Gemini native unless the mental connection is there. I have personally met a couple people with this placement, and they have identified as sapiosexuals (or sapiophiles). They just find mental stimulation as appealing as physical attraction, and they believe that lifelong partnerships and/or relationships are based on intellectual compatibility.
- Without intellectual compatibility, these natives might find their relationships shallow, or without “anchor,” as someone with this placement once said. It’s as if there’s no real common ground if conversations are going nowhere, and the mental energies are not matching. People with this placement need someone who can establish cerebral rapport, and keep it interested that way.
Juno in Cancer
- Emotional maturity and empathetic intelligence are what Juno in Cancer natives yearn for. For them, this is the bread and butter of any relationships they have and might have — regardless if it’s platonic or romantic. This is a non-negotiable trait for the people with this placement. Moreso, this placement gives the natives a sort of “radar,” in which they’d identify if the person who’s pursuing them is not being genuine in their approach. A lot of people can fall for sweet words, but not a Juno in Cancer native. They just know.
- In addition, they’d want someone who can handle their emotional depth. They don’t want being hindered in expressing emotions because most of the time, they are already being suppressed by the coldness of society; these natives would never want to be in a relationship that extends that cynicism to their emotional needs.
Juno in Leo
- Out of all the signs, people with natal Juno in Leo are the ones that wanted to be showed off. The refuse to be hidden by their partners as if being ashamed of being seen together with them. These natives also want someone who they can be proud to show off to people in their lives; which means someone who looks and sounds presentable, and someone who doesn’t need to be looked after. They want someone confident and outspoken, but not arrogant.
- In addition, people with this placement want someone who can share creative ideas with them! Being able to express their creative side is one of the most important things they need in a relationship. And someone who shares the same amount of interest in the creative fields they are in is definitely a plus. They want their partners to also enjoy what they are creating. These natives are definitely going to create something with their partner. It could be a collaborative art piece, a dance, a song, a dish, a literary work, etc. Juno in Leo natives are most likely to treat their partners as their muses and inspirations.
Juno in Virgo
- Juno in Virgo natives look for partners who are and can be put together. Most people underestimate the importance of accomplishing the mundane routines and everyday tasks. But these are things that do not go unnoticed by people with this placement. They want someone they can rely on to successfully execute a daily task, and do the necessary things to make life easier for them. They don’t want a partner that’s going to be “deadweight” to them. They didn’t get married (or entered into a lifetime relationship) to be treated as a secretary.
- Furthermore, they want a partnership that fosters a progression in learning. These people abhor mental stagnation, and would want to be in a partnership that stimulates their minds so that they can learn from each other. Also, open communication is a must for the people with this placement. They absolutely hate misunderstandings because that results in a mess and unnecessary delays. In result, both them and their partner are working hand in hand to make daily things go smoothly for them and other people.
Juno in Libra
- When Juno is combined with one of the ruling signs of Venus, people with this placement may be seen or regarded as the embodiment of spouse-material. A lot of people want to be with these natives; or at least, others have fantasized what it could be like to have this native as a long-term partner or spouse. And while these natives can be aware of the general population of their admirers, they tend to underestimate the depth that their admirers’ affections toward them. This is because Juno in Libra natives are very charming, welcoming, pleasant, can be romantic in their own way, and is the apple of people’s eyes.
- On the other hand, while these natives seem to be receptive to the general public’s attentions, they are very strict with their standards. A couple of flowers and chocolates are not going to win their hearts that easily. They are easygoing in love but they are no going to stoop down to a standard they don’t want. They will not tolerate unsavory behavior from their partners, and will not hesitate to cut connections off if their peace is being disturbed.
Juno in Scorpio
- As with all Scorpio placements, Juno in this sign is not exempted from intensity, passion, and emotional depth. Juno in Scorpio natives are your ultimate ride-or-die when it comes to their connections and relationships (regardless if this is romantic or platonic). When looking for a significant other, these natives can be quite reclusive and even cutthroat. They want to know if potential partner have what it takes to handle their intensity and seriousness when it comes to relationships. They have the habit of sizing-up their potential partners; even going as far as intimidation.
- Most of the time, these people avoid casual relationships — or situationships — simply because they don’t want to be someone’s “for the meantime” partner. They want a partner who will treat them with the same seriousness and depth they’re willing to give back. If unhealthily aspected, they might even go as far as seeking a partner who would obsess over them, and exhibit possessive behavior towards them. This is something these natives have to watch out for because just like Juno in Libra, people with Juno in Scorpio are not in shortage of admirers. It’s just that their admirers are mostly keeping their desire hidden, and tend to go overboard with obsession.
Juno in Sagittarius
- People with Juno in Sagittarius value experiencing life to the fullest. They have a lot of places, experiences, and knowledge they want to earn in this lifetime. Therefore, what they look for in a partner is someone who will not hinder their quest to accomplishing these goals and aspirations. These natives are one of the most open-minded people out there, and they do not mesh well with partners who limit their thirst for higher knowledge and the academe. This ability to absorb a huge amount of information about different topics at the same time can be polarizing to a potential partner of a Juno in Sagittarius native because these natives can stay afloat comfortably within two seemingly opposite ends of a topic’s spectrum. They don’t mind not taking a side for a while if it means they can see the biggest picture possible as they come to their own conclusion.
- With that said, they would want a partner who they can converse with, and exchange thoughts and opinions to broaden their body of knowledge altogether. As a placement under the fire element, they don’t want boring life routines; they want dynamism and growth in a relationship instead of settling for the mundane and calling it a day.
Juno in Capricorn
- Juno in Capricorn natives live their lives with a clear purpose. Whatever it is that they set their minds on, they will achieve one way or another. And this attitude bleeds through their approach in relationships as well. They would like a partner who is decisive in life choices and actions because these natives wouldn’t want to be with someone who can slow them down, or render them ineffective due to their partner’s hesitations. These natives don’t like an aggressive partner; they just want someone calm yet convicted. Someone who is level-headed, decisive, and grounded. This is because these natives really deserve someone who can take the wheels for them effectively every once in a while to give them a break.
- In addition, Juno in Capricorn natives have a unique sense of humor that not all people can understand. It can range from dry to sarcastic, and sometimes even insult jokes — which can rub some people the wrong way. But truly, once these natives find someone who can take the jokes and handle it with grace, you found the shortcut to these natives’ hearts. They might seem too serious in relationships and friendships. But if you get their jokes, they’ll warm up to you more quickly, and they’ll feel more safe to express themselves to you.
Juno in Aquarius
- When person has their natal Juno in Aquarius, this makes them one of the most open-minded people out there. The individual is often open to new ideas and takes on how relationships can work. While they can be your typical, traditional partner (if they want to), they often find themselves being alright in unconventional kinds of relationships as well. They’re also not bothered by other people who silently — or even outright — judge their relationships because in these natives’ minds, as long as they’re feeling happy and okay in these atypical partnerships, they don’t care about what others would say.
- This isn’t to say that all natives with this placement have unconventional relationships. Most of the time, this placement calls for the native to look for someone who can be comfortable with unconventional things with them without judgment! I’ve also observed that people with this placement can be in relationships that are very proactive with human rights, going on parades for the marginalized and the minority; they’re that couple who are very outspoken with what’s going on in their community and their countries. And even what’s happening in the world!
Juno in Pisces
- As with water sign placements, Juno in Pisces natives are looking for that emotional depth, intensity, and maturity. But what sets this placement apart from Juno in Cancer and Juno on Scorpio is the mental connection and total spiritual compatibility. I’ve known one person with this placement, and they refuse to be with someone who doesn’t feel like they are completely compatible with one another. They have this internal “scanner” that doesn’t fail them, and they can see past first impressions when people put their best foot forward in order to look or sound really good. Best believe these natives can see you underneath all that act immediately.
- This is why they want authenticity above all else. Natives are those who want to deep-dive into their partner’s psyche to really understand who they’re being with. The thing is, they expect the same level of understanding to be given to them by their partners but not everyone can be ready for that. So, there’s the possibility of feeling isolated in friendships and relationships. What these natives look for is someone who isn’t afraid to introspect with them, and explore their internalized thoughts together. Only then would the native truly feel seen, heard, and understood.
• Part 2: Houses •
North Node in the Houses
1ST HOUSE - The Universe will teach you a lot about respecting and understanding who you are, and expressing that. Listening to yourself and what you feel strongly about on things you want to do is the theme for you in this life, the one way that will lead you to fulfillment internally and externally. Gradually you will end up seeing that your interactions/relationships with people are not too much to be trusted because either people could betray or take advantage of you and do you wrong later or because of how they disagree with the idea of what you want and it will be unsettling if you end up listening to them. This life for you now is about discovering more about who you are, establishing what matters to you and the structure of your life and creating a strong and solid relationship with yourself. With that, it will come with a lot of being forced to let go of caring about other people, and that may seem selfish to you. It’s a foreign energy and one that doesn’t speak to what you’ve known to matter or think is more important (caring about others and your relationships with them), but caring too much about other people will contradict what you’re here to do: To be you and live for you. So the more you listen to you, the more you are going on the right track and living a good life for yourself. Whenever you feel like doing you, just know you’re following the right path for your life.
2ND HOUSE - The Universe will teach you how to take care and keep what you own, than than your usual energy of disposing of things/letting them go. In this lifetime, you will gradually learn now how to get a grip of the things you possess (physical things such as money, assets, investments, and anything of monetary value) by gaining more and keeping them. You are to move from the non-physical things, the occult, and the intensity of life, but rather to security, to the tangible things, to having solid things and a solid life. Additionally, you’re also here to understand the value of the things you naturally possess, like your skills, your voice, your body, talents, etc. You will learn more about appreciating whatever you’re gifted in and see your self-worth. Your sense of self-worth in your past life was rather lost or bleak and you didn’t make a priority or perhaps others didn’t, and so you may still carry that energy in this life (questioning the value of things and the value of your own self sometimes). But the big lesson here is to move from that now, and the more you do that, the better life becomes for you. For you now it’s more about understanding what value and security is by having things that keep you stable and feel good about yourself. Whenever you feel like you’re obtaining things and decide to keep them, just know you’re following the right path for your life.
3RD HOUSE - The Universe will teach you how to learn from others and share bits of the knowledge you have to close people (rather than the whole world or to be heard by the planet about what great knowledge you have). As much as you may have great knowledge, it’s easier shared in bits and scattered around (to different people, or different places, or different times). This is the kind of energy you’ll normally possess in this lifetime. Being busy, having communications everywhere, sharing and receiving knowledge, and having a good social life are the theme. It’s important to know how to learn from others and connect with them in any as many ways as possible. That is the biggest lesson here. Though for you, because of the excess knowledge, guidance from higher guides, and fortune you received in your past life, you’re used to sharing your knowledge and have much of it stored that you sometimes just look at the bigger picture and all the wisdom around rather than the small and significant picture. The here and now. The present. The being around people and communicating with them or hearing them out. That is the concept of your timeline in this life. Whenever you feel like you’re getting ideas and following through with them or communicating them (mostly online), just know you’re following the right path for your life.
4TH HOUSE - The Universe will teach you how to become more private and understand closeness & softness with loved ones than you’re used to. You are here to let go of an authoritative mindset or the tough front you wear that you normally thought was okay in your past life. You are repelling the energy of a publicized life and instead connecting with a private life and household matters, to care about what’s inside rather than what’s outside. You may have been used to having and building a structure for your life and hold ‘success’ to a high regard. But what you’re here to hold to a high regard now is the value of family, closeness and your home life. The understanding of a public life that is polished or one filled with respect and having a huge name is one to let go of, and if you don’t learn it now, The Universe will force you to learn it either way. In this life now you’re more inclined to form close bonds or attachments (and perhaps even start a family of your own). So whenever you feel like creating and maintaining these attached relationships, just know you’re following the right path for your life.
5TH HOUSE - The Universe will teach you to let go of caring about other people and the humanitarian / collaborative energy you’ve always thought matters, but rather to know how to care about yourself and shine on your own, to stand out and be a creative solo, though this could mean you won’t connect with the public as much anymore though. As much as you’re used to putting the collective energy of other people (even a crowded place of strangers you barely know) at the forefront, that is not something that should matter so much to you in this lifetime. You’ve done that enough and can be okay with doing you. You’re being repelled from gathering thoughts and energies from too many people now, but to rather to take your own into consideration and perhaps be selfish [not in the ugly way though obviously, the healthy way] and connect with your own creative side, your dramatic ways of being, and your inner entertaining voice. You could also connect with kids or youthful energy more in the life now, meaning you may have a number of kids or love children in general, or maybe even have a youthful energy yourself. Whenever you feel like doing you, just know you’re following the right path for your life.
6TH HOUSE - The Universe will teach you to care more about how to work rather than dreaming and fantasizing or manifesting all the time. You may have been used to connecting with the unseen or trusting in the universe to get from A to B, but as much as that’s a good way to live life, you’re used to that and have done that enough now. Because the issue has now been that you don’t do much with what’s seen, because you’ve become used to the unseen being in control for you. In this life, the biggest (and most constant) lesson will be to understand the importance of working and putting your body or any abilities you have to use, as well as keep busy in a physical space rather than an abstract space (mentally, emotionally or spiritually). This will include you valuing daily routines, planning, time management, moving around and want to see movement/growth in your life. Whenever you feel like you’re following through with your plans of success, just know you’re following the right path for your life.
7TH HOUSE - The Universe will teach you how to develop relationships with other people and push you away from maintaining the strong relationship you have with yourself. This doesn’t have to be romantically, but it could very much be as well. The main point though is to revert from the self-centered energy to people-orientated energy. You’ve done that way too much in your past life, as a result it’s time to care for others. So whether you comfortable with it or not, embracing other people and clapping hands for them, maintaining relationships and having a number of connections, and being there for others will be the theme for your life now. Simultaneously the biggest benefit to this is that your connections with others are genuine, true and perhaps lasting (depending on other placements) because you know the energy of being yourself and expressing yourself, so you remain true and genuine with others as well. You know who you are and won’t fake that, and consequently people like that.
8TH HOUSE - The Universe will teach you a lot more about changes than you’re used to. You could experience loss a number of times (doesn’t have to be death but also tangible things or having to let of your relationships with certain people). On the other hand, you could gain a lot from other people than self-gain/starting from the bottom. You may also experience a lot of doubt (whether it be self-doubt or doubt regarding things or people around you), you rarely find yourself secure about something, or when you are secure, that changes down the line. You may also have a habit of saving or hoarding a lot of things, whether it be products or money in general, however (not at an early age, but as time goes) you’ll know how to give or be forced to learn how to give by The Universe letting you lose things. You may also have a natural gift of understanding and being in tune with occult, deep, meaningful stuff [such as astrology, tarot, or even being a medium] and connecting them to people as well. Whenever you feel like doing you’re giving rather than keeping, just know you’re following the right path for your life.
9TH HOUSE - The Universe will teach you how to be more philosophical, content and learn more the bigger things in life and good side of the world. You will have to let go of focusing on the smaller things and thinking short-term or small or in detail, but rather think out the box and expand your mindset; think big and gain big. While gathering all the things you have learnt and keep learning from the expansion of your mindset, you are also here to teach and share your knowledge in what you’ve learnt or in general want the world to know. In this lifetime, most likely people could look to you for philosophical knowledge and any wisdom you may have. Which at first may seem weird and foreign to you because you’re used to learning and saying things in bits and pieces or in a trendy way rather than from a philosophical point of view. But your destiny is to learn more about the world and about life (becoming philosophical), then sharing that with the world however you can. You already have a versatile energy (from moving around/keeping busy in your past life) and so now you extend beyond and move to further place, do bigger things and see where the road takes you. Whenever you feel like you can focus on the bigger things in life, just know you’re following the right path for your life.
10TH HOUSE - The Universe will teach you about establishing an authoritative image for yourself than keeping to yourself as you’ve always had in your past life. A public life and having an image to maintain will be the theme of your life. You will be forced to learn more about moving from focusing on your foundations/household, to focusing on your legacy, working very very hard, and achieving many things. The life that looks good is the image you think about and may constantly have to maintain (to not look bad in front of others, but instead have a voice that matters). Life will be kind to you in the sense that your status in the in society will be one of importance, meaning there will probably barely be any disrespect from others (or if there is, it will be shut down so fast by the people who feel like what you do for this world is good) and will be more control of things around you and what people should/could do. You get the ultimate say, and are listened to. But that’s only if you stray away from the energy you’re used to of caring for others and having attachments, which The Universe will force you to do (stray away from these things). The idea in this life now is to follow through with every foundation you’ve laid and create a legacy you’re proud of. Whenever you feel like dominating in the workplace, just know you’re following the right path for your life.
11TH HOUSE - The Universe will teach you how to become one for the people and one of the people. Your place in this life now is to look at others as a whole and be mindful & caring of them rather than just yourself. At the same time, you have enough knowledge and experience of stardom and being 'that one’, that in this life you come in with guns blazing ready to still continue those past life patterns by you still standing out from the crowd. You could still be looked as a star or in general you associate with fame/popularity amongst a lot of people, but that all happens before you learn the lesson of seeing yourself as just one of the people and one for the people. By being one for the people this means that you help them out and stand up for them or show them that their craziness or uniqueness is good and normal, they shouldn’t feel bad about having certain features about themselves but instead embrace them. As a result, the focus moves from you, to other people. You are being repelled from focusing on yourself, and rather understand the collective and be part of it. Be part of the movements, be part of humanity and be part of the change. Whenever you feel like uplifting others and creating new norms, just know you’re following the right path for your life.
12TH HOUSE - The Universe will teach you how to escape more and connect with higher energies than you’re used to. You’re in this life now to look beyond what’s physical and what work you can do in your environment, but instead to engage with the non-physical and grow closer to the spiritual side of life. While you’re used to being realistic or acting/being the smart one, that energy is now one to let go of. You don’t need to have it all figured out or work so hard now anymore. Though you may not know or understand that now, as time goes The Universe will teach you lessons in accordance with this life path that is right for you. Working hard and sweating yourself will gradually become something of little importance to the your life. You are pretty much here to live the life of your dreams (as well as dream a lot). You could also be seen as someone who has a dreamy life (being lucky/fortunate) because of how you can somehow manifest the life of your dreams or the things you deeply desire. The Universe helps you out in many ways. And this doesn’t mean you won’t experience trials and tribulations throughout your life, you most certainly will like any other person, but the overall idea of your life is a blessed one that follows being in unity with The Universe and its desires for you (which is a beautiful life). Whenever you feel like following your dreams, just know you’re following the right path for your life.
Anonymous asked:
how to feel like a person?
- digital detox. if your phone was taken away, how much free time would you have? how empty would your day be? do you have things to do outside of scrolling endlessly on different apps? if you come to the realization that a lot of your time consists of being glued to your screen, you need to start considering incorporating no-phone time blocks into your day. a big part of our daily misery boils down to consuming so many things in 24 hours, to the point that we feel too burned out to do anything else that truly nourishes our body and soul.
- establish a routine. discipline is so important for happiness. start out small—schedule your day, get consistent with your skincare routine, take daily walks—and then gradually add more and more things. don’t try to revamp your life all at once. that’s a surefire way to quit altogether. be realistic about your limits, but also push yourself where appropriate so you don’t stay static.
- journal. mentalize your feelings. don’t suppress your emotions. be curious about your thought processes and what makes you tick. always be self-compassionate, but hold yourself accountable where it’s due.
- start pursuing hobbies. make a list of all the things that interest you and try them out. there are so many things out out there; one of them is bound to stick. don’t go into it with the negative mindset that you know you wouldn’t like doing x and y. some things you might know in your heart are not for you, but don’t rule out possibilities you’re ambivalent about. be open-minded and see finding your interests not as a chore, but as an exciting prospect.
- practice gratitude. this is such a popular advice bc it works. start off your day by listing 3 things you’re grateful for. it’s crazy how so many people don’t realize it’s a blessing to just be alive, when so many people get robbed of their lives so early on. i’m not saying to never shoot for more, but having a foundation of contentment goes a very long way.
- have a solid set of friends, but march your own march. you don’t need anybody; you just want them. same thing with friends. friends are good for us because we are a social species, but if one person were to leave your life, it’s not the end of the world. your life is already colorful, filled with so many things you’re doing for yourself—furthering your career, improving on your skills, working on your fitness—that a person leaving shouldn’t be detrimental. never be so dependent on someone you can’t envision a life without them. you need to make your life exciting on your own; you can’t have someone else doing all the heavy lifting for you.
- have an abundance mindset. if one thing fails, that just leaves room for something better to take its place. you are always bound to find better. there are 8 billion people in this world. there are countless different possibilities. failure or loss does not mean it’s game over for you.
- see pain as a learning experience. true growth spurts do truly come from heartbreak or failure. it teaches us to pick ourselves back up and try again. always have a growth mindset. that relationship didn’t work out? now you know what to avoid for the next relationship. you’re single again? now you get to focus on and learn more about yourself. that friendship ended? at least you won’t waste any more time on someone who doesn’t value having you in their life. you didn’t get that job? that leaves the door open for other possibilities. you didn’t get the score you wanted? now you know what to work on to do better next time.
- action-directed things to improve your self-esteem. you can sit in your room all day and tell yourself you’re the best thing since sliced bread and everyone’s obsessed with you, but truly building up your self-esteem comes not only from thinking positive things about yourself, but also acting on them. work on things you care about. work on yourself as a person. love who you are, but also strive for self-improvement. do things that can act as proof—to you—for why you’re worthy. it’s a game changer.
- dispense of the victim-of-life mentality. it’s safe to dwell in your misery and keep blaming things on factors out of your control, but where would that get you? it’s just resulting in you expending your energy needlessly. stop seeing life as jumping from tragedy to tragedy. actively fight against your negativity bias. recognize that for every bad thing that happens, 100 good things happen, but we as humans have a tendency of focusing only on the negatives. sort through your emotions, make peace with what happened, but pick yourself up and move on. the most valuable thing we all have on this planet is time. it’s limited and it will come to an end eventually. you don’t want to look back and resent yourself for not simply letting go of things and appreciating what you have around you.
🕯💌felt like writing about the venus signs today bbyss
Cancer Venus: religious love in the lana del rey type of way, cherries and that one wedding dress at the thrift store that someone loved intensely but you know it could only be worn once with the same meaning, keeping you from buying the it. You wonder why it ended up here, why it wasn’t passed from generation to generation. Cancer venus is about emotional devotion, falling in love with the divine. You’re my religion. Regret and lingering.
Virgo Venus : Physical servitude. Take my body, take my hands, it’s all yours. Wanting to climb mountains, wanting to materially do it all for them. The last plum hanging from the tree in October, the one that seems to be scared of hitting the ground and never feeling the same again. Lists and scratches, being obsessed by a mythical ideal you’ll never reach.
Scorpio Venus : Possession, wanting to kill the person you’re in love with. Limerence. Burning letters and burying affection deep within the folds of your chest. These old leather boots you find at the thrift store, only you know they won’t be as faithful to you as they were to the previous owner. I could never tell the difference between affection and hatred
Aquarius Venus : understanding the concepts of duality and completion better than others. Understanding that the loved one is not a prolongation of yourself. Running away together, faithfulness and ear kisses. Tattoos, escapism. Delayed affection and sudden boredom. How do I not lose my sense of identity in all this
Capricorn Venus : Leather, power play and temporal devotion. Vintage clothes at the thrift store that are perfectly preserved and still smell like cigarettes. Saturn making you go through hardships in love and you going through it all bravely, you’ve seen it all before anyways. The ability to foresee the better during stormy times. Every lover is a lesson i haven’t learned yet
Libra Venus : Angels. Love that sounds like an empty Opera. You wonder why Venus has gifted you with the ability to understand love as an absolute, in a deeper way than other placements yet, something is missing. Theoretical love. Vanity and jewelry boxes. Summer flings, having multiple suitors, misconducting each and every one of them. Love that feels like seasons passing, in love with Love and Venus. Mental stimulation, mind games, subtle flirt. Loving being loved. Would I fall for you if I didn’t see my reflection in your eyes ?
Gemini Venus : Hand kisses, rings, playlists. Writing the portrait of your lover, learning their mannerism. Boredom, bliss and ecstasy. That children book at the thrift store you had forgotten about. For a split second, you feel young again and hesitate purchasing it just for the reminiscence. Having multiple love interests, having a hard time keeping up with texting. Always being the one who leaves, people never understanding what kind of heartbreak it represents as well. It only takes an intonation, a subtle movement of the hand for me to become your lover.
Leo Venus : warmth, traveling west when the sun is setting down. Picture boxes, wearing your heart on your sleeve, spiritual devotion. Intention, impulse and high school crushes. Trust issues, insecurities. That one furry coat at the thrift store that seems to stand out, you wonder what kind of extra weirdo decided to stop wearing it. Cheerleaders and 60s heartthrobs. Rnb type of love, the one that is so sweet and warm, it almost a burns but you’re left delighted with the taste of candy. It’s harder to turn that love into self acceptance
Taurus Venus : Paul Anka, slow kisses and necklaces. Skin to skin contact, the same kind of devotion you would give to a growing plant in your room. Doe eyes, heart shaped boxes and slow burn love. Sunburns and freckles. Possessive thoughts, maturing together. Love ends with death or a heartbreak. Sometimes love is not a feeling but an action and you guys understand this a lot. Commitment, late supper in downtown restaurants. Feels like I was put on this earth to worship your body and you to adore mine.
Aries Venus : bites, blood and rage. Fist fighting all the rivals but in your head only. Freckles, sunrises when haven’t slept. A LOT of sexual drive, stamina, working their body on yours, short breaths. Possessiveness and being territorial. Shades of orange, pushing limits, ultraviolence. “Take a bow” from Muse. Rashes, blushing, frustration. Dating is like hunting, healthy competition and high school crushes. Love is the desire to experience everything together, to be witnesses of each other’s accomplishments.
Pisces Venus : Pain and pleasure kinkily mixing together. Satisfaction in being heartbroken, you really can feel that tiny sense of being alive during a heartbreak am i right ? BDSM. Churches, sleeping with your partner as an act of true love. Sharing dreams and nightmares. Connecting in other realms during sex. Pure devotion, melting in each other’s eyes. Prone to Illusions and Fantasies. Being in love with fictional characters. The complicated relationship between a knight and their queen/king. 60s dreamy music, makeup and interior design. Taking substances together, Sometimes I’m scared my affection towards your every move turns into an addiction.
Sagittarius Venus : open relationships, foreign partners, hookups, tinder. Walking barefoot in the parc with your lover. Mysticism, cults, frolic love. Date night at the library, I bet your first love was some kind of teacher. In love with higher education, freedom. Feeling overwhelmed or trapped all the time. Running away together, adrenaline, concerts, connecting through sharing theoretical ideas, conversing. Loving too much, being too generous, expansion.That Simone de Beauvoir and Sartre type of love. You can go anywhere, to anyone in this world and i will still know you’re mine in the end.
Jaakko Pallasvuo / David Lynch (The Angriest Dog In The World)
love how it’s become completely normal and acceptable to say explicitly sexual shit to random strangers on the internet, especially if they’re women. girl on tiktok has more than a b cup? top comments on anything she posts are automatically “mommy sorry mommy sorry”. woman on the internet is pretty and also feminine? “submissive and breedable” like that’s not the exact kind of gross, infantilizing shit women hear irl every single day. i constantly see comments on teenagers’ posts saying “hey don’t sexualize her she’s a minor” like it’s not weird or misogynistic to talk about a stranger’s “mommy milkers” online so long as she’s 18 or older. fuck. maybe i’m a prude but i just don’t think you should get to make gross objectifying comments at random strangers just because you think the veneer of a mom fetish makes it #coolquirkyandprogressive instead of just creepy
