There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

There once was a man from Verdun

There once was a man from the sticks Whose limericks stopped at line six. They were fine till line five Then they took quite a dive — But the problem is easy to fix If you just ignore the last line, it doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I've really lost control of this thing I'm so sorry...

There once was a man

From Cork who got limericks

And haiku confused.

There once was a man from the sticks

Who liked to compose limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short

@limerickshere

There once was a fellow named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He replied, "Yes, I know-- It's because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

On Tumblr did lasses and lads Their way with fail poetry had. You're having your fun But you're fooling no one - It takes skill to do something this bad.

My favorite pirate joke is “why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at c” not because it’s THAT funny but because it’s a relatively simple joke that nobody ive told it to has ever correctly guessed the punchline for because they all think it’s gonna be a joke about arrrr

Another classic is

“Why couldn’t the pirates play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck!”

For more hilarious pirate jokes like these go to google and type pirate jokes into the search bar and click search

Sorry for the double reblog I just wanted to let everyone know that I told the first joke to my dad and he hung up on me.

Nosfera-Tutu.

rule #1 of the world is that love is stored in the kitty cat

my apologies to puppy dogs everywhere

rule #1 of the world, fixed: love is stored in the Creature

rule #2 of the world is that biting is also stored in the creature

rule #3 is never talk to the police

@berd-alert literally quillguard

Good morning everybody

elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus

can you imagine being an adult nepo baby at a company your rich dad invested in and having to walk into the boardroom first day like. hi everyone. my name is techno mechanicus

I can tell this is fake because "techno mechanicus" doesn't start with X

OH SON OF A BITCH

Thanks I hate it 

You know how sometimes you read a post by @one-time-i-dreamt and have to scroll back because it got more and more wtf?

Well. I had the same kind of thing but the other way around. I was convinced it had to be someone's crazy dream.

And then scrolled back up to find out that's not the case.

my mum just called "scrolling on Tumblr" "scrumbling"

we should consider that your mum is correct

there's been a couple of people who agreed that it should catch on and become a word, so maybe you're right 🤔

just scrumbled past this

Been scrumbling for a while. Glad I saw this.

you can't do this to me

Pixie Hollow Online - Sketch by Vickie Pellouchoud

- ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛ -

Anyway here's some additions from the Maasai and Kikuyu, two grassy plain-dwelling groups from Eastern Africa that I think count as unfuckwithable

Feel like Poland should be included since we're literally called "people of the fields" according to the etymology of Poland.

Also look at her GO

I’m Métis, here’s some of ours! You’ll notice it looks remarkably similar to the above.

We also have some less intricate clothing (if it looks a bit Victorian to you - that’s pretty much the right era for most of this!)

Can’t believe no one’s done it yet I will be the person to add the cowboys: Latin American focus.

Here is the Chilean huaso:

Gauchos, from primarily Argentina where they’re a large national symbol close to the level of cowboys in the US. Also gauchos are in Uruguay.  Their pants are called bombachas and the other garment wrapped around them are called chiripas.  They work in grasslands called pampas, known for being really fertile:

While they’re not as dressed up as the others or have as prominent of a culture, for a broader Latin American cowboy context, I feel like also adding llaneros, who are from Colombia and Venezuela, in the llanos region, a type of tropical grassland similar to the pampas, hence the name llanero. Pampas get annual flooding and these guys would go barefoot a lot, and you can see that the stirrup on the horse’s saddle is really different than what you’re probably used to seeing, to accommodate for that, which is what I want to point out as an aspect of plains cultures developing clothing/accessories/tools to suit the environment. 

Cowboy culture happened wherever Spanish colonial influence and grassland biomes came together.  They differ based on the grasslands having different climates (ex tropical in South America), and the local indigenous influence (ex, backtracking to gauchos, they would use this tool called bolas to catch animals, which were basically two balls tied to a string that you threw and it spun around an animals legs, and were an indigenous invention):

I would love to keep posting cowboy dress lol but will stick to the post’s theme of grassland of course.  

Adding to the post, I, hereby, present people of Kalash and Chitral:

Chitral means ‘field’ in the native language Khowar. Both Chitralis and people of Kalash are known to be indigenous people of Asia.

Which of these would you rather see on your dash?

Hey @staff. This is a perfect example of why collapsed reblogs is such a bad idea. Seeing the full thread, you go like this: 😮 ooh, that's cool 😀 "they're free," hehe! 🤣 "16 cents," perfection!!

I have achieved joy, I feel positive feelings toward Tumblr, I want to engage, I want to stay, my eyeballs land on more ads, you make more money, everyone wins! 🎉

Seeing the collapsed thread, you go like this:

😮 ooh, that's cool 😐 "16 cents"? yes, that's literally what the pic shows, not sure why you felt the need to say that

There is no motivation for me to uncollapse the reblog chain—it looks like a boring conversation about the denominations of coins. And even if I do uncollapse it, you've ruined the joke by showing me the punchline before the setup. I am sad, Tumblr is boring, I go elsewhere to entertain myself, I see less ads, you make less money, everyone loses. 😥

Reblog chains are the best thing about Tumblr. They are your unique super power. They are the thing that makes people screenshot Tumblr and share it around. Why on earth would you kneecap them??

I don't know exactly how you plan to implement this. Give people the option to keep them collapsed if there truly are people who are annoyed by how long they can get (you already have a version of this feature), but don't collapse them for everyone or new users by default. Please. It will make Tumblr so much more boring.

the cannon being a risk of killing most of the kingdom in an attempt to kill the one person who is different as a reference of how the anti trans/queer laws also deeply affect cis/straight people god this movie makes me so insane

New favorite media niche: sometimes…kids can be older than their dads

I read the comic in one sitting less than an hour after finishing the movie, and wow I have many Thoughts™.

- It's very obvious the two versions were meant to cater to different audiences AND tell different messages. I don't get why people are going "But the comic was better! It had more nuance!" just because Nimona was easier to root for in the movie.

- The comic was written back when ND Stevenson was still trying to process a lot of stuff, so all the characters are morally grey/straight up evil and the climactic battle is between a Ballister who regrets turning against Nimona, even if it was to save others vs. a Nimona who's too hurt to care if her lashing out was going to hurt innocent people.

- By the time Nimona got a movie adaptation, ND was a lot more secure in his sexuality, so the climactic battle was Nimona vs. the Director, the symbol of religious oppression and bigotry. It's not just about your friends turning on you because you're "too much" for them anymore, it's also about a society that would rather bring itself to the brink of ruin than coexist with you.

- (I totally get why people were upset about Ballister's surname change, though. Like come on, the media dubbing him Blackheart just to be mean was RIGHT THERE).

- Nimona's metaphor for not shifting is such a neurodivergent thing. Even in the comic, Nimona's parents insisting she's a monster who replaced their daughter is reminiscent of the changeling myth, which is what many parents thought their neurodivergent kids were—changelings who replaced their "real" children.

- Ambrosius being trained to cut off HIS BOYFRIEND'S WHOLE FUCKING ARM instead of merely disarming him is a very cop thing to do. As much as cops claim they're trained to de-escalate situations, their training still teaches them to treat everyone as a potential threat, and that level of constant vigilance can turn anyone into a trigger-happy/arm-choppy bastard. Even the Director, who can use a sword but probably hasn't actually fought someone in ages, STILL can't see Ballister reaching for the squire's phone without assuming he has a weapon.

- And on that note, the Queen getting killed simply because she was trying to reform the Institution and allow commoners to become knights? That's the best "no such thing as a good cop" metaphor I've seen. Because even if there ARE good cops and they ARE in leadership positions, the system will crush them before they make any meaningful change. It's not a good institution that turned rotten, it's an institution that only exists to spread its rot and refuses to be good.

- That's why Ballister's characterisation is so different in the movie vs. the comic. Comic Ballister had 15 years to come to terms with his trauma and the Institution's evildoing, while Movie Ballister is still freshly traumatised and hasn't found a way to define himself beyond the role he was assigned by the Institution.

- Not to mention Comic Ambrosius was not very noble to begin with and genuinely believed Ballister was better suited to villainy than heroism, while Movie Ambrosius never wanted the glory that came with his lineage in the first place and only antagonised Ballister because of indoctrination he needed to unlearn (which he did, all by himself, after witnessing the lengths the Director will go to just to kill Nimona).

- It really shows how important it is to surround yourself with loved ones who are open to change. Comic Ambrosius can love Ballister all he wants, but he'll still blast his arm off because he thinks Ballister deserved it anyway. Movie Ambrosius will stop to question what "the right thing" even means, even if he didn't love Ballister enough to defend him unconditionally.

I have so many more thoughts bubbling beneath the surface, but I'll probably address them some other day. In conclusion:

Watch Nimona. This is not a request.

Back with more Nimona thoughts, y'all.

- It's definitely possible that the Director wasn't reacting on instinct when Ballister reached for the "weapon", and she was lying off her ass to escalate the situation until someone killed Ballister and/or Nimona. Something something instinctive prejudice, something something deliberate evil, something something police brutality is both.

- So much of the Director's "Boohoo, that wasn't me it was the shapeshifting monster" charade could have been debunked if Ballister planned ahead and recorded Nimona shifting back BEFORE he revealed himself. Classic "underestimating the enemy" move.

- Ambrosius going from "He killed the Queen" to "He's being manipulated, I can still save him from the monster's evil clutches" is a nice parallel to Ballister going from "He didn't mean to chop off my arm, it's what he was trained to do" to "If I can show this video to Ambrosius, he'll believe me". Both of them are still clinging onto old beliefs because that's all they've ever known, but the one constant is their desire to be together again. Just. ARGH. THESE TWO GAYS I CANNOT.

- Movie Ballister unlearning his prejudices over the course of the movie is a very important thing to portray, because no one is immune to propaganda and dismissing bigots as individuals who chose to be evil instead of addressing the system that produces them is the political equivalent of bailing water out of a sinking boat while going, "Dang, why won't these water droplets magically gain sentience and stop flooding my boat—or better yet, help stop the leak?"

- (Because let's be real, a society that values conformity and authoritarian control isn't going to install a Free Will Ex Machina switch in bigots that will automatically turn them good if X condition is met. Creating mindless robots who will persecute any minority without stopping to question things IS the point.)

- (Case in point: Gloreth, who could have been Nimona's best friend forever until she fell victim to her community's prejudices and didn't even stop to question them. She wasn't secretly evil the whole time, she was just a kid surrounded by people who actively prevented her from knowing better.)

- That being said, I LOVE that Movie Nimona never gave a single fuck about Ballister's discomfort and continued to be herself until he came around. The point isn't to dismiss the impact of conservative indoctrination or make endless excuses for people who reject every opportunity to reform themselves, it's to make some room for empathy without debasing yourself for people who won't even meet you a quarter of the way.

- It's a nice contrast to Comic Ballister the Morally Grey but Still Reasonable Anti-Hero and Comic Nimona the Cool Punk Gremlin Who Kinda Needs To Keep Her Destructive Tendencies In Check.

- The comic was radical because it validated people who were tired of being nice and just wanted to go apeshit, because fuck everyone who believes you're something to be saved or fixed.

- The movie was radical because it acknowledged that destroying your enemies sometimes just destroys you even more instead of bringing catharsis, and that's okay because fuck everyone who demands you choose between burning the world or being burned when all you wanted was a life of peace.

- I can kind of see why people thought Nimona's ending was anticlimactic but honestly, I think we've had enough buried gays. We deserve a little magic resurrection.

- (Besides, there's this cool theory that Nimona deliberately took the form of a phoenix before killing the Director so that she could be reborn, and I can't remember who OP was but damn if that isn't a great in-universe explanation.)

Again, in conclusion:

[ID: A pink-haired Nimona doing the sign of the horns with a maniacal grin while Ballister, a black-armoured brown knight, looks confused and dazed in the background.]

Go watch Nimona right fucking now. Rewatch it, if you've already done so. Hell, get the comic and reread it too. Join me in my Nimona obsession.

It's 2023 and this joke is still somehow even funnier than ever.

I feel so… down whenever I want to watch queer or trans videos because I know in the back of my mind that none of the current large queer content creators’ content or community is safe for people like me, intersex people.

I love their work otherwise, but it hurts badly to hear them toss around casual intersexism in their videos constantly when discussing queer and trans issues and nobody ever mentions it.

And because these are large, popular creators, nobody has ever listened when I’ve tried to ask they adjust their language. My dms go ignored or unseen and my public comments get drowned out by fans defending their intersexist comments. It’s emotionally draining and exhausting, I just want to be included in my own community.

Genuinely asking if you are comfortable sharing, but what are some examples of “casual intersexism”? I’m honestly less read up on it than I should as someone who is intersex. Feel free to ignore this though should you not feel like it or anything.

rocky horror is the worst and is also transmisogynistic can we please finally get over this shit movie

ok but like the writer is transgender nonbinary and the language used in the play was the preferred language by trans people of that time can we not deny parts of our history because we’ve evolved since then thanks

So fucking much this.

PS, youth of today: you’ll be saying the same damn thing about art from this time before too long, for good or for ill. Terminology will, in fact, change. Definitions will, in fact, shift. It always does, they always do. 

PPS, it is pretty much impossible to overstate how life-alteringly important this movie was to kids who didn’t conform to standard expectations of gender and sexuality, back in the day. Especially when back in the day was the mid-to-late 1980s, when the only queers you saw on TV were neutered AIDS tragedies, Bowie was playing straight, and even Elton John was married to a woman, and midnight showing of RHPS were pretty much the only place that felt like home. It was mental life raft for a lot of people.

I was one of them.

#the queer youth of today has forgotten all its history and is spitting on its ancestors and i hate it (via @gaythreats​)

beautifully phrased

ALSO IT’S A SATIRE IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE AN “OFFENSIVE” PORTRAYAL IT’S MAKING FUN OF STRAIGHT PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID OF US IT’S EXAGGERATING THEIR IDEAS OF US TO THE POINT OF LUDICROUSNESS THAT’S THE ACTUAL POINT

also you fail to understand just how many, many people were allowed to be queer for Tim Curry and how many doors that began to open

we say this as someone who was in several closets and first saw the film when we were 18 and that was 1981 ffs this film MATTERED

Rocky Horror kept me alive.

One of my favourites from the subreddit