No. 1 - Lufthansa

We begin with a large fish even by the standards of the large pond in which we operate. A very intentionally chosen large fish. Deutsche Lufthansa is Germany’s flag carrier and the second largest carrier in all of Europe by passenger volume. In 2018, they unveiled a new standard livery for their fleet of airplanes, and it…well. It’s this. 

Even the presentation - good lord, is this an auto show?

My feelings on Lufthansa’s 2018 livery are visceral. There’s no mental evaluation required, no taking it in, thinking about the choices made - I look at the modern Lufthansa livery and immediately, profoundly know that I hate it. And that’s not just because of the specific choices made - which are bad - but because of the space they occupy amidst a creatively barren wasteland within livery design. This is going to be a very long post, which isn’t standard for this blog, but my goal for an introduction is to break down exactly the sort of design that made me feel the need to start doing this to begin with. 

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Miss Conenginality, No. 1 - Boeing 377 Stratocruiser

Very recently I was asked what my favorite planes visually are, and I said that I would do a series of posts on the matter for each like the original post received. A lot of people close to me probably had an idea in mind as to what my first post would be, and I'm going to intentionally not give them what they expect.

Today's featured model is a blast from the past, the Boeing 377 Stratocruiser!

Serving for just over a decade (1949-1963), the Stratocruiser was a member of that weird generation between the flying boat era and the introduction of turboprops and early jets, contemporary to the early Constellation models and the DC-6. For the day it was a pretty advanced design - it had to be, to compete with the two aforementioned giants. It had a pressurized cabin and impressive range but most notably it had two passenger decks and could seat over 100 people, and was Pan Am's choice to replace the luxury overseas transport offered by their old Boeing 314 flying boats - they placed the most expensive order in history at the time, for 20 planes. In a very early example of the US government deciding Boeing was their favorite, mail routes flown by Stratocruisers were heavily subsidized for Pan Am and Northwest.

Sounds great! Only problem is that nobody can afford to operate it and the propellers fall off and overspeed whenever they feel like it. Nearly a quarter of the 56 examples built were destroyed in accidents and Boeing lost seven million dollars.

But this blog isn't about those sorts of things. We Eat Babies Airlines can get a good rating if it has a good livery and the Christmas Bullet could get a feature if I liked how it looked. And can we talk about how the Stratocruiser looks like a plane dressed up as a blimp?

How did we get here? Why did they design it to look like this? Well, it's actually a bit of a story. We did not start out here. We started out with the B-29 Superfortress, a decidedly normal-looking WWII-era bomber probably best known for the whole...nuclear bombs thing. We then added a second lobe (and some other modifications) for the C-97 Stratofreighter. And then the war ended and, as was not especially uncommon back then, the decision was made to develop an airliner variant of what had been a military cargo plane, and the Stratocruiser was born.

I do think it really shows that this was a development of a more normal airframe, but I think that almost makes it even more charming. The Stratocruiser is a strange plane, a very large bumblebee made of metal and held together with dollar bills and chewing gum.

Here's one being successfully ditched (as Pan Am flight 6), because why not!

And, thankfully, the world of aviation wasn't content to stop there. As aircraft grew in size and the space race began in earnest there arose a need for outsize cargo carriers. Today you may be familiar with the Airbus Beluga and Boeing Dreamlifter, but you may be a little less familiar with NASA's outsize cargo aircraft, used to carry full rocket stages. The only Stratocruiser-derived aircraft still in service: NASA's Aero Spacelines Super Guppy.

Yes, this feels like the end stage of the Stratocruiser's evolutionary line. This is correct. I love her, and I hope you all do too.

The Stratocruiser is a strange curiosity for sure, an odd-looking relic of a long-bygone era...and so irresistibly silly that I can't help but love it.

I'm familiar with the sight of Dreamlifters flying in and out of Paine Field, and they have always reminded me a bit of belugas. I was unaware until now that Airbus had not only gotten there first, but leaned even harder into the cetacean-ness.

Oh, boy! If you hear the name and think they're leaning in, just wait until you see what they look like!

No. 19 - Amakusa Airlines

I read @sirigorn's request and immediately found my mood improved because of the phrasing here. There is something so delightful about the way you put this.

I was also very excited because this is an airline I've never heard of! And it's no surprise, since they, as you said, operate a fleet of just one ATR 42-600 (though I've seen inconsistent claims they have a second one on order), which makes them tied for smallest airline in the world by fleet size. They're a commuter airline based at Kumamoto Airport, which is technically an international airport but is still tiny, and mainly fly little puddle jumps between various destinations in Kyūshū (though they do have destinations in Honshu and a single one in Shikoku).

I wish someone had been around to hear the noise I made when I first saw her.

I love this plane. I love this plane so much I struggle to actually quantify the amount of love I feel for her. Just look at her. Oh my goodness just look at her. Look at this lovely blue girl. Not only is she smiling that delightful little smile and looking at me with those big ol' eyes which are shining with pure love, but so are both of her engines!! And the fact that they strategically drew her fins on by cleverly using the lighter color of the underbelly and the white of the empennage!! Oh my goodness!! Oh my goodness!!

Thank you for this request. Knowing this airplane exists has improved my life. This is a type of joy I thought I wasn't capable of feeling anymore. This plane is a dolphin and I love her.

I'm so glad you like her :3

I used to live very close to Amakusa Airport, which is served only by Amakusa Airlines, and AMX, of course, only has the one plane. I'd see her fly overhead on my way home from work and she made me smile every time.

There's a pod of bottlenose dolphins that lives in the area, so everything is dolphin themed (the streetlights! the koinobori windsocks!)

So when I saw your blog, it brought me back to those days. I had to make sure you knew about the smiling dolphin plane and her two engine babies. I always wanted to fly on her, but it never happened. Maybe someday.

Oh my goodness this is all so lovely. I can't blame you for loving that plane. I've actually bookmarked her on flightradar24 so I get an alert whenever she's in the air and it makes me happy just remembering she exists.

It's not going to be especially soon, but I intend to go back to Japan the moment my life allows and thanks to you letting me know about it I am 100% going to make a detour to Amakusa. Those dolphin streetlights are just incredible. Everything about this is delightful.

Hey. Don't cry. Air Canada's first A320 delivered wearing scarf and ear warmers ok?

Gee, Tumblr would probably really hate it if you shared and spread this damning article … To the surprise of absolutely none of Tumblr’s LGBTQ users, it turns out the independent NYC human rights agency Commission on Human Rights (CCHR) found that Tumblr’s ham-fisted adult content ban in December 2018 disproportionately targeted LGBTQ users. The CCHR’s investigation revealed Tumbler’s moderation algorithms is demonstrably biased against queer content. As part of the settlement, Tumblr was obligated to review their prejudicial anti-gay moderation policies. Even more mortifyingly, they’ve also had to hire an expert on sexual orientation and gender identity (SOGI) issues and provide unconscious bias training to their moderators. I frankly doubt Tumblr has learned a thing from this humbling experience. Just recently the Tumblr algorithm flagged three ancient posts of mine as violating their terms. All three “offenders” were vintage homoerotic beefcake images (softcore by modern standards) roughly 50 – 65-years-old by Bruce of Los Angeles, Bob Mizer and Tom of Finland. (These are of course pioneering queer artists who routinely faced censorship and imprisonment in the fifties and sixties. Plus ca change!). They've been visible on my page - corrupting viewers -  for years at this point. I appealed all three immediately. Only the Tom of Finland one was approved. The other two are now hidden. So, they haven't learned much. Apparently, Tumblr – who loves to declare how hip, youthful, inclusive and progressive their values are - wants to restore trust with their queer users. I’d recommend we remember their hypocrisy when Pride rolls around and Tumblr splashes rainbow flags everywhere and attempts to pink wash their image.

In honour of Pride Month, this is worth a reblog! Don’t buy into Tumblr’s hypocritical “pink washing.” 

Here is the link to the documents themselves, if anyone was curious

Please reblog this linked version of the post instead, as it addresses which parts of the human rights issues were down to Yahoo and which were down to Automattic, the new owners.

The mistakes were Yahoo. The compliance with investigation and reparations were Automattic.

DO support the new Tumblr in this, because they aren't pink-washing, they're the ones actually fixing the problems they inherited when they purchased the site.

looks at you

looks at you

@bettsplendens i'd just like you to know that this is my favorite comment on this post and i'd like it to be memorialized

Emotional extremes horseshoe theory where both ends are a long walk

"what proof do you have that this character is trans" well first of all I only prophesize and state the truth

My therapist: just because you made a plan doesn’t mean you’ll always follow it perfectly, and that’s okay. It’s better to follow a plan cursorily than not at all.

Me, sobbing: THAT WAS AN OPTION???

Oh, this is super important.

⠀

When trying new coping strategies or learning a new habit, you’ll fail. Possibly many many times.

But that’s alright! No one just PICKS it up immediately. 

⠀

You’re trying to learn to do it sometimes, and then occasionally, and then more often than not, and finally every time!

Similarly, you might fail in any plan or timetable you’re trying to use.

But that’s alright! 

As OP’s therapist said, it doesn’t have to be perfect! In fact, no one can pick it up immediately. 

⠀

Doing things OCCASIONALLY is better than not doing it at all.

Doing things LATE is better than not doing it at all.

Doing things PARTIALLY is better than not doing it at all.

Also don’t aim for perfection. Just aim for as best you can, ideally a little better than last time. But? There will be ups and downs. That isn’t a flaw in you or your techniques, it’s just how people work.

Once again its 3am and this washing machine wizard haunts me

My parents continuously tell me that my generation’s humour makes no sense and I still refuse to ever explain it to them

"nothing is real atoms never touch each other youve never touched anything in your life" ok. well when i pet my dog he is soft and when he licks my hand it is wet and that is far more real to me than whatevers going on at an atomic level

what my atoms are doing is their fucking business man i'm busy trying to stop my dog from eating tissues directly out of the box

there HAS to be a reason for this

"honeymoon phase" i am literally healthily insane and obsessed for the entire duration of the relationship. skill issue

When I say editing software is getting dumber, this is what I mean.

In what world is "What dinnered?" more legible than "What happened to dinner?" I just... what?!

i know most people have seen it but i cant emphasize how much this is literally my favorite breath of the wild clip of all time. also i can never fucking find this clip when i need it especially in high definition so here it is