peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

dont do this

I really hope its not too bad bc i actually love both components.

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

do not do this.

Unanimous consensus: Do not do this

Other people: Hold on I’m about to do this

I keep seeing this post going around so, for folks who want to know why not, here's a chemist's hypothesis:

-Human saliva has an average pH of ~6.7 (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3800408/), which is pretty neutral.

-Monster energy has a pH of ~2.7 (https://patientconnect365.com/DentalHealthTopics/Article/Energy_Drinks_and_Your_Teeth_Should_You_Worry), which is quite acidic but not dangerous, except to your tooth enamel if consumed in large quantities.

-Rainbow sour belts contain malic acid (a common food additive as a potent acidifier and sour-flavor agent), citric acid (another common sour flavoring in pretty much everything) as well as ascorbic acid (aka vitamin C, used here mainly as a preservative). (https://candypros.com/products/sour-belts-bulk-rainbow)

-All of these acids when added to water would normally release their protons (H+ ions), thereby making the water solution more acidic. However, a chemical constant of these acids called the acid dissociation constant (pKa for short) indicates the pH of a solution at which acids are most likely to keep or release their protons. The pKa's* of these acids are higher (3.4, 3.1, and 4.2 for malic, citric, and ascorbic acids respectively) than the pH of the solution (2.7), which essentially means that the acids can't release their protons and all that acidic potential is trapped in the solid formulation of the candy.

-There's also some evidence that sugar decreases the solubility of acids in water solutions (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3411471/ only sorbic acid is discussed here but it's relatively structurally similar to the acids in discussion). The undoubtedly high sugar content of both the Monster and the candy therefore may contribute to the accounts of the sour crystals bubbling/floating on top of the solution instead of dissolving.

-Malic acid in particular is notorious for causing mouth irritation when eaten in high quantities.

-Thus, I can imagine that upon consuming the battery acid spaghetti, not only is the mix itself quite potently sweet/sour, but also the solid malic acid coming into direct contact with your mouth quickly becomes painful, and as the solution mixes with your (pH neutral) saliva the trapped acidity of the malic/citric/ascorbic acids is dumped into your mouth and esophagus, creating a sensation that I can only imagine is similar to consuming actual battery acid (pH = 0.8).

(*Each of these acids actually has multiple pKa's corresponding to number of protons they're able to donate, but really only the lowest pKa is useful here since once that one dissociates then all of the other ones are already dissociated too.)

apparently, I joined this tumblr place at 03/07/2011 2:02:18 AM.

Oh of course it was 2AM

pls god where is the fourth of julie goodbye 2007 hello 2008

dear dire

do you all read my url as astro flight? because my cousin def did and I was like damn

This still upsets me

In one of the original drafts of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson included among the grievances an indictment of King George III for his role in the slave trade. He accused the king of “[waging] cruel war against human nature itself, violating its most sacred rights… captivating and carrying [Africans] into slavery”

It was removed over protests from slave-owning congressmen from the south, but still JEFFERSON WROTE THAT and it’s like… uh, pretty audacious words from a man who owned 200+ slaves he never freed?? Rights sacred to whom, Tom?? Rights inalienable for whom?? TRUTHS SELF-EVIDENT TO WHOM????

The white patriots at the time were not oblivious to the contradiction in their rhetoric, sometimes they even literally used the word “slavery” to describe British rule, and people wrote about how that was like, kinda messed up, right? (Abigail Adams, in a 1774 letter to her husband: “It always appeared a most iniquitous scheme to me—fight ourselves for what we are daily robbing and plundering from those who have as good a right to freedom as we”) 

But white people have always had an incredible capacity for cognitive dissonance, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Black people saw the glaring contradiction too, obviously: in 1765, when the Sons of Liberty marched through the streets of Charleston South Carolina chanting “Liberty, Liberty,” slaves joined them shouting the same words… at which point the governor placed the city under arms for a week for fear of slave rebellion.) 

All this is to say, of course: Black lives matter. They’ve always mattered. We have always known they matter, and there has never been any excuse for how hollow our rhetoric about freedom is, while that same “freedom” is built on the backs and from the blood of so many people.

When someone changes their URL and I don't recognize it anymore but they still post the same stuff it's like my friend mysteriously disappeared the day before I met my new friend who looks suspiciously like my old friend wearing Groucho Marx glasses

So we've been having a bit of a debate in the office because we wanted to do the headline "Local man gives up sugar for 12 minutes" but then overdoing the "local man" trope is a bit male-centric, so we considered "Local woman" but then that sounds like we're typecasting women so that wasn't great either, but I think we've finally found a worthy compromise:

true story

this was his response 5 seconds later

time to see if my old mpreg player works ahhh!!!

IT WORKS!!!!

MP3 PALYER

one thing about tumblr users isthat they love to disagree with posts. another thing is that they love to do is disagree with things that were not even in the post as if they were

this is just absolutely not true. people do not normally drink printer ink.

jk rowling's new reputation will never not be funny to me. when you see her name now you dont think "oh yeah thats the chick who wrote harry potter" you think "oh lord, this TERF bitch again" like bro how do you fuck up so bad that your fuck ups overshadow writing the third most read piece of literature in existence

#literally like I was saying earlier!#these books could have just quietly gone down in history as a much-beloved piece of children's/teen fiction#and people would have been like 'it's kind of problematic but the pros outweigh the cons so I'll read it to the kids'#but Rowling was SO desperate to keep herself relevant that she's driven HP into the fucking earth

There needs to be 400 hours in the day so I have more time to do fuck all

8 hours for work, 8 hours for sleep, 384 hours for what we will...

Our beautiful home

after a long day of doing laundry for the entire neighborhood, i walk into my kitchen and cook an amazing gourmet feast, which i then eat entirely while crouched in the corner set aside for dining. afterwards, i tuck my son into solitary confinement before making the long trek down the master bedroom hallway to bed, where i settle in with my wife who just finished bathing in our second bathroom's indoor swimming pool

i got really sad when i realized these were separate signs and that i will never be able to go to psychic jimmy john's

my three girlfriends, judge, jury, and executioner. and yes, they decide who lives and who dies.

and yes, they smoke weed

reposting a favorite reddit moment of mine since god knows if ill ever see it again

turn that https:/ into https:)

https:(