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ashrimpyshrimp

@ashrimpyshrimp

Just a shrimpy shrimp
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Random convo I bet happen between civilians and vigilantes

Civilian: What hair product do you use man?? My man's hair is shiiiiining

Nightwing, chuckling: I just let it dry (lying)

Civilian: Naaaah, man I see you jumping from rooftop to rooftop everyday, tell me your secrets–

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Gothamite: And who's gonna pay for this scratch on my car?!!!

Robin (Tim), trying damn hard to stay stealth: Don't you have insurance?

Gothamite, don't giving a fuck: No!

Robin: You should have–

Gothamite: You know what? HEY TWO-FACE–

Robin: No, no, no– Hold on–

Gothamite: HE'S RIGHT HE–

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Gothamite: Okay- Cannabis is very much legal in L.A.

Batman: We're not in L.A.

Gothamite: Yeah that's funny because– *runs*

Batman: *Runs after him.*

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Gothamite: See I don't hate you

Signal: Always good to hear that–

Gothamite: You doing a pretty good job.

Signal: I–

Gothamite, also a bus driver: But you gotta stop being thrown at my window–

Signal: I don't control where villains throw me.

Gothamite: Yeah bro– But you better start, otherwise there's gonna be one more out there

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Gothamite, also a security guard on his phone at 3 am: Yeah, no honey it's literally desert here–

Gothamite: HOLY SHIT

Batman:

Gothamite: Fucking warn a guy, mY GOD–

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Gothamite: I thought you were taller.

Nightwing: I heard that a lot.

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Gothamite: How do you see on that thing?

Batgirl (Cassandra):

Batgirl: I don't.

Gothamite, terrified: Oh okay–

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Batman: Shouldn't you be at home?

Gothamite, who's also a teenager very much snicking out at four am: Shouldn't you mind you business?

Batman:

After being forcefully driven to home on the batmobile

Gothamite That was really unecessary–

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Gothamite: Are you alone??? Where'd your dad? Where's Batman?

Robin (Tim Drake, early days): Batman's not my dad.

Gothamite:

Gothamite: See now I'm concerned.

Robin: Oh no–

Gothamite: What's is this a internship...? A job...?

Robin: You know what? Yeah, Pretty much.

Gothamite: Really? Oh okay, okay. I'm less concerned– Because–

Robin: Yeah I can see–

Gothamite: Like "is he kidnaping those children"?

Robin, chuckling: No, no–

Gothamite: You get paid?

Robin: Not really.

Gothamite: I'm back at being concerned–

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Gothamite, from her window: Have you eaten yet?

Robin (Dick): No– (lying)

Gothamite: Oh, the poor child– Oh shame on you

Batman:

Gothamite: The poor kid– You're dragging him alone with you to fight crime on a empty stomach?

Batman:

Batman: I–

Gothamite: Unbelievable. I expected more on you– Hold on sweety I'll see If I have some cookies here to give you.

Dick: :)

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Robin (Damian): Do I look like a fucking child?

Gothamite: Do you want me to answer that?

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Old Gothamite being around the city since Batman year 1: You sound different.

Batman (Dick Grayson): No I don't.

Gothamite: Yes you do–

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Gothamite: She looks different.

Gothamite: Mark is the same girl.

Gothamite: No honey, she looks different, she's was taller

Gothamite: Honey you're being paranoid.

Gothamite: She was a red-head!

Gothamite: Oh, Mark. Now the girl can't even dye her hair? Just because she's a Super-hero? Por girl can't even reinvent herself and people on this city start saying she's a different person?! Let her be! Her life must've be hard enough–

Gothamite: Jennet I swear to God that's not the same girl–

Batgirl (Stephanie), just trying to get some information:

Gothamite: You never notice when I change my hair–

Gothamite: HEY! HEY BATMAN!!

Batman: *already trying to hide Robin!Dick under his cape* WHAT??

Gothamite: GIVE HIM SOME FUCKING PANTS??!

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Gothamite, watching Jim Gordon: Batman may be a hero, but the commissioner is a fucking saint, and you can quote me on that

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Gothamite, koala hugging Batman as he's swinging through the sky: Look. Not that I'm unhappy about being rescued but, uh, when was the last time you washed this suit??

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Teen Gothamite: You saved my life, so I'm going to save yours; do not, under any circumstances, Google Nightwing Y/N fanfic. Okay? Okay.

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Red Robin: ...

Gothamite: ...

Red Robin: I swear I thought this was my boyfriend's apartment when I broke in-

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Gothamite: Good job, kiddo

Robin! Jason: *tearing up* that's the first time anyone's ever said that to me

Batman: ...

Gothamite: ...I'm going to give you a headstart Batman-

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Red Robin: *running past a choir*

The entire choir: YUMMMMM!!!!!

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Gothamite, who walked in on Catwoman and Batman making out: Hey Batman- don't you swing away from me, you coward! Come back and pay me reparations!

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Gothamite, trying to flirt: So, um, what are you doing after this?

Red Hood: *Deadpan* War crimes

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Gothamite: Robin...do you need help with your homework?

Robin! Tim: *staring lifelessly at the calculator he threw at a criminal* Yes. Yes, please

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thinking abt how fucked up steam engine boiler explosions can look. theyre just pipes under there

gives me the idea of a ghost/monster engine that looks normal, albeit a bit battered, only to swing their smokebox door open and a myriad of pipes come bursting out like fucked up tentacles

I didn’t know a train could be an eldritch horror, but here we are.

They did it, they fucking did it.

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estpolis

holyfducjk

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cavebae

HISTORY

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raisehelia

holy shit!

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derples

can someone explain this to me

Thirty years ago a legendary ET game came to fruition, so awful that as the tale told, all unsold copies of it were buried in a pit in New Mexico. A documentary film crew has just unearthed the stash, proving the legend true.

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I don’t think people fully grasp just how awful it was. This one game, by the sheer merit of its unmatched shittiness, destroyed the video game and console market so thoroughly that the at home video game nearly went the way of the 8-track player.

It was literally so awful that it nearly changed the entire course of technology.

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ask-gallows-callibrator

how can a video game possibly be that bad

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maqdaddio

People don’t really understand why it was terrible though, and the reasons why are extremely important and relevant especially today.

The game itself is bad, yes. It was built up to be an exciting hit for kids to play at Christmas in 1982. So much in fact, that retailers bought WAY more stock then could every be sold based on the hype.

However, people at the time liked the game. It looks bad now, but the game itself was pretty on par with the times. It wound up selling 1.5 million copies. Which would be great, except Atari was expecting to sell 4-5 million.

While initial reception was positive, critics started panning the game as critics do. While it was no worse than most other games at the time, it was stil frustrating and hard to play. It could not live up to the hype that had been built and negative press built up quickly.

But what was ALSO happening was a flood of cheap imitations on the market. ET is a licensed game, and like all licenses comes at a higher markup. So if you wanted to buy a game for yourself or your kid, would you buy 1 game, or 2 for the same price?

Atari was also screwing around with how they handled their distributors. Just before the game went to public, but AFTER the game had been bought and shipped, Atari announced that they were cancelling every existing contract with distributors and signing with only a select few.

So distributors, now pissed off and with an abundance of games that were NOT selling and with prices slashed horribly to sell games that people were quickly losing interest in, retailers put their claims to return a collective 2.5-3.5 million copies back to Atari. Atari, unable to recycle the cartridges or resell them in any way, wound up burying them in the Nevada desert.

This caused the Video Game Crash of the early 80s that put a dark mark on video games until Nintendo (and in some small part other game companies) to revive later. 

 It was the perfect storm. An over-hyped overpriced game sold to an increasingly frustrated and over-saturated market with retailers scrambling to make a dime while Game Devs blame the market for poor sales.

Some say the proverbial planets are aligning again, with way too many consoles putting way too samey games on the market at way too high a cost with a strong dependence on Pre-orders and pre-order exclusives.

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videogamesarepurehappiness

Wanna give the game a shot?  Internet Archives actually has a copy of it at this link:

this is like the dutch tulip bubble of our times

It’s worth noting that this game was a symptom, not a cause. Like, one game didn’t crash the market. This was just the snowflake that tipped the avalanche. But it became famous because it is VERY funny.

huckleberrywine

LOL

We need HOAs or some idiots will paint their house purple or put tractor tires in their front yard.  If you want tractor tires, don’t move to a HOA neighborhood.

I couldn’t even fathom how horrifying it must be to live somewhere there are...purple houses and and yucky stuff in people’s yards. Thank God I don’t have any real problems like that.

scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat

listen my Nonna and Nonno live right by a purple house (it’s a nice lilac) and as a kid I was fucking obsessed with it because purple is my favorite color. I’d go nuts whenever we passed by it. Also it had a purple mailbox to match and it blew my mind.

No more HOAs. More purple houses.

imagine trying to control what someone else can do with or on their own property just because you don't agree with their taste in decor

NO MORE HOAs MORE PURPLE HOUSES

Related, becuase I just had to move:  “just don’t move into an HOA” Do you know what a PAIN IN THE ASS it is to find NON-HOA Housing? Very nearly everything in the CO front range that isn’t a rental has an HOA these days!

Short list of the Shit the HOA at my pervious house tried to pull:

  • Banning personal and community food gardens (The reason the tag for my garden is “The garden of earthly HOA violations”)
  • Banning people from using thier personal yards as Native Plant Restoration microzones, something that looks gorgeous and is extremely helpful to the local ecology
  • trying to get the city council to remove protections on adjacent city Open Space/Native Plant restoration zone so they could mow it.
  • mandating the use of ONE landscaping company in the neighborhood, coinicdentally owned by the HOA president’s son
  • Mandating the use of an unecessary water purification company on all properties.
  • suing city animal control for collecting lose dogs and cats and returning them to the addresses on thier collars.  You know. that thing animal control does so the animals don’t get run over or disemboweled by the coyotes or catch and spread rabies.  The thing that’s illegal to let your pet do out here for those reasons Karen.
  • Suing the city council to remove a city bus stop in the neighborhood that was heavily used by many residents.  They damn near got away with it becuase the HOA meetings were always in the middle of the day on a weekday.  You know, when the residents that use that stop are working.
  • Sending people letters threatening to fine them for having “Out Of Season” holiday decor.  Specifically targeting my Indian neighbors who were celebrating Diwali, not Christmas and the Jews with visible Menorahs.
  • Fining people for doing thier own appliance and car repair on thier own personal property
  • Fining people for operating a business out of thier house, specifically targeting a disabled neighbor that does comission tailoring and garment repair out of her home.  never bothered a soul except the one snoopy bitch who didn’t like that her clients were allowed to park in the tailor’s designated and otherwise unused parking space.
  • Trying to fine a neighbor for flying a Pride Flag

HOAs are invasive, bigoted, corrupt and cruel institutions that should never have been allowed to be created.  If you live in and HOA area, showing up at the meetings to tell people what the fuck is wrong with them, Joining your HOA board to protect your neighbors and possibly organize the dissolution of the HOA is one of the best things you can do to protect the marginalized members of your community.

FUCK HOAs AND LONG LIVE THE PURPLE HOUSES AND TRACTOR-TIRE GARDENS OF THE WORLD.

Are y'all telling me this shit is actually LEGAL?

Here’s how to get an HOA to leave you and your purple house tf alone

cant stop thinking about this post. 😔

direct action

HOAs, IN THEORY, could be such a force for public good, and that’s what’s maddening. Imagine if an HOA was like “well we’ve got all these houses and this one empty lot, pay your HOA dues and we can install a community food garden!” or “leave your contact information on the HOA residents-only webpage if you’re willing to be an after-school dropoff for children in our community who may not have a parent at home” or “hi, Sally, we’ve noticed your yard’s gone rather hogwild and things weren’t like that before your husband passed last year, do you need some help? We have some folks in the HOA who can help you with maintenance, no charge.”

Instead they choose isolation over community in the name of a unity that’s in image only, and that’s really, really sad.

Friend of mine bought a small house, an old one in an old neighborhood. She had no idea it was an HOA neighborhood until the day she moved in. They arrived with paperwork she "had" to sign or things would get "complicated", aka do this or we're gonna make life hell for you. She immediately told them no, she has no desire to be part of the HOA, and they about blew a gasket. Went from civil to wtf real quick. They tried sending her violation reports, demanded she pay fines, threatened her, etc. What they didn't know is she's petty and gives zero fucks. She also lives keeping paperwork nice and tidy.

Shit hit the fan when she installed a wall around her property. A 3 feet tall 2 foot wide wall around her yard. Topped with gorgeous iron work with sharp points that make climbing dangeous. Think Addams Family Lite. They tried to stop the construction because she was using the /wrong/ company (a mutual aid group she worked with). Send her fines and fees, and made the mistake of sending a copy of the HOA contract with a forged signature.

Ooooo...it got so ugly! She remembered the HOA post here about that happening to others and, well, the HOA broke up because of other fuckery on top of this. But it was mostly due to her dragging them in court for fraud, harassment, disturbing the peace, trespassing, stalking, and a few other things. She was petty about it too, looked into every fucking thing she could to destroy them.

I was informed that you not, in fact, obligated to sign the HOA contract. It's not a legal requirement. When you look for a home, make sure to ask about the possible HOAs, and look at the details of your homeowner's contract. Sometimes HOAs have that shit written into the purchase. If you see it, change the contract, put your initials and date in the changed sections, and see how the real estate agent handles in. This is legal, btw.

Don't sign the HOA contract, learn the laws regarding yard stuff (did you know you can apply to have your yard declared a wildlife reserve?), and be petty af when the nosy neighbors won't mind their business.

Fuck HOAs, long live the purple houses with the tractor tire garden!

if elves lived in modern america they would be rednecks im sorry but it's true. imagine you meet a tall guy who's always in a baseball cap and driving around in his truck and learn that he's a crack shot with a rifle, like insanely good. okay that's pretty cool i guess. but it starts to get weird cuz he's so good at identifying edible plants that he practically survives off of berries and wild game and his mom's homemade bread which is the absolute best stuff you've ever tasted in your life. his truck, which he tells you he essentially built himself with the amount of repair and replacement work he put into it, is either insanely well-built or insanely lucky, and drives right on through snowdrifts and mud pits and potholes like they're nothing. the first time he tries to take you on a hike he drags you uphill for two straight hours with a cheery smile on his face and seems genuinely surprised when you're worn out at the top. sometimes when you're out in the woods his head turns around at what you swear is literally nothing and he's like "oh yeah there's deer 'round here you can hear 'em. loud as all get-out." when he finally takes off his fluorescent orange snapback and shows you his pointy ears and tells you he's immortal you're just like oh that makes a lot of sense actually

horses are inherently funny because they come in so many sizes. like draft horses

this looks so fake. this horses skull is bigger than the dudes entire torso. this horses NECK is thicker than the dudes entire BODY.

and then at the opposite end of the spectrum you have shit like this shetland pony which ALSO looks fake

what the hell happened to this thing who bred this line of ponies to be so ridiculous

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hostilepopcorn

fun fact, while most mini horses and ponies look fat, like the shetland above, some are genuinely just scaled down versions of regular horses

you look at this and think “wow that’s a horse i bet I could ride that” but you’d be wrong because this is an american shetty and it’s the size of a large dog

also fun fact, this is the world’s smallest horse, thumbelina

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and this is the largest horse ever, brooklyn supreme

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wodneswynn

I would fucking die for Brooklyn Supreme