What we call “Clowns” are only the fruiting bodies of Harlequin Fungus, the mycelium of which grows on unwashed pie tins.

Y'know what?

Reblog this to give the person you reblogged it from garlic bread.

leftover pizza went bad, only have a pack of ramen and a canned soup left

may i please have a few dollars for food

$AspenAdams / v: @pisshet / the other one

hey just had to pay hotel fees and i have $8 please please please help me i need something in the next like hour

Nobody better slam my girl Hubble Telescope after the Webb Telescope pics came out, alright? For YEARS she was the baddest bitch around and we owe her nothing but gratitude

my whole fucking dash is this post

Well have you thanked her yet

Cool that staff can ban someone almost instantly for saying that a staff member likes Harry Potter but not ban a single nazi or terf until I've sent in like 4 different reports over the course of months.

Oh my fucking god they deleted my reblog of the post off my blog. Really cool that they can do that but not delete the like 50k+ note terf propaganda posts listing 1 billion reasons why trans women are evil

And they also don't delete nazi propaganda and disinformation like that either. There are dudes on here writing essays on race science bullshit and they get a lot of notes and theyre still up! They might ban OP after a while but they don't nuke the posts off of everyone's blogs like this

I know y'all did not read the books but Roald Dahl talks about this in the book. Charlie’s teacher points out the fact that unless you buy a shit ton of bars you’re probably not gonna win. Just like the lottery. Just like how all of the other winners of the tickets bought a shit ton of bars. Except Charlie, who just got lucky. And Charlie was originally black. Literally the whole point of the book was that wonka wanted to give the less fortunate a fair opportunity and it wasn’t fair because the system isn’t fair.

Stop the car.

Charlie was originally black?!?!

!?!!

He was and Mr. Dahl was forced to make him white. Also his widow has spoken and confirmed that as well.

because you shouldn’t believe everything you read on a tumblr post at face value, here is a guardian article confirming that charlie was originally conceived as black but dahl made him white at the behest of his publisher

WHAT

But yeah, coming back to the original point, the other kids, especially Augustus Gloop and Veruca Salt, cheated the system by claiming a ridiculous amount of chocolate bars. News reports mention people hoarding Wonka chocolate bars in hopes of finding the Golden Ticket. Mr Salt even admits that he refitted his staff at a nut-shelling factory for opening chocolate bars, without a doubt losing a huge amount of capital in lost profits and mass bulk-buying of chocolate, just to win. The working-class lady who actually found that ticket didn’t benefit from that luck or labour - she was immediately made to hand it over to her boss for his spoiled daughter, who holds it as ‘his’ victory and good luck.

Charlie didn’t even find the ticket in his first bar, or his second. His first bar, his birthday present, was a dud, and he even failed to enjoy it like normal because he dared to hope, just for a moment, that he might actually be lucky enough to get the one. Later, he is lucky enough to find a dropped 50p piece in the street, and goes to buy a chocolate bar for himself. Finally holding a treat that is all his, he wolfs the thing down, stopping only long enough to realises that he didn’t get lucky and win a Golden Ticket. It’s only on the third bar that he gets it, and, smelling blood in the water, the shopkeeper tells him to immediately go home and not tell a soul that he has it, knowing what people might do to this small starving boy if they find out what he has.

And Wonka knows! He knows he done goofed! He realises almost immediately that the people who have been attracted to his lottery, who have stacked the decks in their favour, are awful, cruel, entitled people! Augustus Gloop, the glutton, doesn’t care what placed in front of him so long as it’s food - and the first obstacle? A room where everything is a kind of sweet. Violet’s gum-chewing is excessive, but the modern film adapts this into a more realistic and sinister flaw - overcompetitiveness. It’s not just that she’s been chewing the same piece of gum for months, it’s that she’s been chewing the same piece of gum, weeks after its taste is gone, whether it is socially acceptable or not, just to break a record. So when Wonka promises a new treat, a personal favourite of one of the kids, but says it’s not ready yet and you can’t have it, of course Violet seizes it, because damn the consequences, she will be the first to try it. Veruca is shown a collection of unique animals, and immediately declares that she wants one, because she’s always had the bragging rights and luxury rare items. And when Mr Wonka refuses to sell? She steals it, because dang it, she will have that golden goose/trained squirrel! Mike Teevee, in his hubris, mutilates himself almost beyond recognition because he had to challenge Mr Wonka’s outlandish claim of transmitting physical objects via television. Charlie was the perfect heir, not because he was humble and poor, but because he had the wonder and appreciation for the treats Wonka made but also the sense and caution not to risk messing with the many dangerous things in an active factory. If the lottery was more fair, maybe Charlie would have had more stiff competition, but as it stands, Charlie is almost the poster boy of ‘won by doing nothing’.

Sorry, got sidetracked

TLDR: Apart from Charlie, most of the other kids were entitled rich (white) kids who gamed a system that should have been fair, and were punished for it by revealing to them their greed and hubris

Why am I getting a fucking Wonka origin story with Timothy Chandelier instead of a remake with a black Charlie like Dahl intended

Reblog for the Tommothy Chardonnay comment

let’s just say i’m up to season 5. i am coping via gay people

rbs > likes!!

no spoilers past episode 188 or i’m shoving you into the distortion

My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

do they smoke weed?

Yes, actually.

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

Well that escalated quickly……

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

this dude playin omg 

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

Jesus, after coming back from the dead: hey guys it’s me Jesus, just look at the scars on my hands

Thomas, a known freak: show us the feet as well please

Happy Easter everybody

Every single Easter you monsters give me a million notes on this post

Oh, God loves me? Kind of a problematic age gap

Not to mention the power imbalance...

Reading this while my mom is in a church meeting is something else

…anyone have any tips to help with crippling gender dysphoria?…anyone?

Big hoodie

I have a question about punk crust pants and jackets:

Can use a skirt instead?

Fuck yea

Thanks!!!

willing to share him

if you knit then “to frog” means “to completely unravel a piece of work” so basically i read this as a threat to tear me limb from limb

reblog to tear a person from limb to limb

i am wiggling around my bedto get warm. like worms maybe. you know. in the dirt and such

@entities-of-posts corruption

Different Stories Resonate with Different People

I will always reblog this.

I once spent three hours scouring the internet to find this comic again, I will not let that be repeated.

THATS TUPPERWARE

i thought delaware was a place in ohio? why are there so many things named delaware?

delaware is too powerful

what the fuck

Wait what? I thought Delaware was a store with building supplies. Like paint, wood, nails and stuff?

THATS HOME DEPOT ???

I know home depot, but dude I don't know anything about America mad have never been there. Are you sure there is not a some sort of store called something close to Delaware!?!

.....ace hardware....?

this post has only been around for a few hours but could very well be a world heritage post

but at what cost

This post launched at 8am PST on 12 Feb 2021. The above conversation has happened in 3 hours.

he WHAT? i thought he was from. w. wait. ???

delaware stole the presidents shoelaces for clout and became too powerful

From the UK- and what do you mean Delaware isn't a type of ceramic?

it is now

@hellsite-hall-of-fame is it too early?

Isn’t delaware what they make computers on???

software ??

I think they meant Dell Ware, a specific computer type. We had a Dell computer once.

I thought Delaware was that famous singer they spoofed in Zootopia.

gazelle??

oh i thought delaware was that one british singer lady, you know, the one from chasing pavements

that's fucking adele

isn’t delaware that place you go when you die

youre thinking of superhell and all of you are going there

how the fuck did any of you come to the conclusions you all made

we live in america?

I thought Delaware was that food delivery service that keeps interrupting youtube videos with their ads when I'm trying to have a good time

..... are you talking about Doordash???

Isn't Delawere the name of that one girl in the song that goes "Hey there, Delawere"? She's from NYC or something.

THATS HEY THERE DELILAH

Pausing here to point out that op is “dear-AO3″ and now I’m wondering if Delaware fanfic would be categorized as RSF (real state fic) or AU (alternate unitedstates)

stop i do not want to think about this 

Isn’t Delaware that SPN ship that exploded the internet

Everyone on this post:

I love that the “no, that’s [x]” meme is making a comeback here and only here and nobody has any idea what’s going on

Keep up the good work, we can make poor OP have a melt down yet. 

Isn't delaware that one brand of pizza that's like "it's not delivery, it's delaware."

isn't delaware the god of the sea

Isn't Delaware the name of that guy who painted the Mona Lisa?

delaware is that one evil cyborg guy that has a son named Luke and a red laser sword

Thats Darth Vader. Im pretty sure Delaware is that other red-laser sword guy. You know. The one that stabbed Qui-Gon.

what have i created

this is really going to be the thing that i am remembered for