🏳️‍⚧️ ❤ 🏳️‍⚧️

So, He Wears Feminine Things

This is addressed to the wife, partner, girlfriend or other who has just discovered that the man in your life secretly wears feminine lingerie at times. Quite how you discovered this is not important, so much as how you react to it. That in turn will depend on a number of variables including your upbringing, your faith, your education, and your expectations of your relationship.

The revelation is probably a shock and leaves you with a turmoil of feelings and questions. Is he gay? Is he having an affair. Does he not love me?

First, calm down and realize that it is unlikely to be the end of your world or the end of your relationship. Your man cross dresses, expressing a deep seated feminine side of him that you did not know about because he has endeavoured to keep it a secret from you, fearing to damage a relationship he holds as very important to him.

Interestingly, men who cross dress are far more common than one would think. It is not a perversion but an expression of something that is a part of him, something he probably realized as a teen or young man and something that he has likely been ambivalent about ever since, cycling through guilt and grudging acceptance several times over.

There is in fact a wide scale between what our culture has tended to simplify as a binary system of ‘male’ and ‘female’. Your man is a little way along that scale, to all intents and purposes a male and comfortable to be so, but with an added feminine component which our culture provides very little way for him to express. Ironically, women in our modern culture can dress either in frilly feminine clothes or very masculine clothing without comment. The same latitude is not given to men, and should they publicly wear anything that is in the slightest feminine, they are called ‘sissies’, ‘queers’ or other insulting names. Cruelly, our culture has defined ‘men’ in a very narrow and confining way.

Interestingly, our native, indigenous culture has long recognized ‘Two Spirit’ people, further recognizing that such people have value among them as those with an empathy for, respect for and understanding of both primary genders. Such people are respected, not reviled.

Is he having an affair? No, those feminine items are not souvenirs of some sordid affair. He likely bought these things, one by one, on those rare occasions that the opportunity arose. He keeps these things hidden somewhere, fearing your reaction if discovered.

Is he gay? Some cross dressers are, but most are not so inclined. However, cross dressers are often attracted to other men who cross dress, when dressed, though not to men dressed as men. There is a long term for this condition, likely odd to you.

Does he still love you? Yes. Ironically, statistics show that the majority of cross dressers in a steady relationship greatly value their relationship with their partner. This increases

their fear of damaging this relationship. Most cross dressers yearn to be better understood by their partners

The worst thing you can do is to insist your man throw away his stash of feminine clothes and promise never to even think of doing such a thing ever again. He will promise. He values you highly. He will try to keep such a promise. But he will not be able to in the long run. You will simply have driven him further into the depths of the closet.

The better alternative is to accept the situation, recognizing that this is not going to go away and that there is some wisdom in the old adage ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’. The vast majority of cross dressers are ‘sometimes’ dressers, with no wish to live full time as women.

One response could be to accept that your man needs to occasionally express his feminine side, give him specific opportunities to do so, but state that you do not wish to be directly involved. It would likely be a huge relief for him to shed the cloak of secrecy, no longer fearing your unexpected early return home and the trauma of discovery.

Another response is to take an active role. Some partners help their men when shopping for clothes, either in the store or online. Some partners enjoy secretly knowing what their man is wearing under male outer clothes while out visiting with friends or at dinner and a show. Some couples buy matching sets of underwear or nightwear and enjoy wearing them together. Some incorporate cross dressing into their sex life, role playing and enjoying sex while fully or partly dressed. The range of possible responses is wide. Outright rejection is an unwise choice and will inevitably sour or ultimately ruin your relationship.

That your man is less of a man than other men you know is a false supposition. Think of him as more than a man. The current terminology is ill defined and confusing, but think of him as a man who has a female persona beneath the surface, perhaps well hidden but yearning to be expressed.

Yes, there is a risk in opening any door into your relationship. A few cross dressing men ultimately cross a threshold and seek to live full time as women, perhaps entering new relationships with others similarly inclined. A few may even commit to surgical procedures that confirm their new gender identity.

But, this essay addresses the vast majority of men who seek ‘sometimes’ to express a feminine side of themselves that is suppressed by our western culture. They seek to be better understood, not vilified. Please give them space to be who they fully are.

PS Readers, if you can use this letter yourself or know of someone to whom this would be helpful, please feel free to repost or copy.

AmandaJane70

⚔️ PROTECT TRANS KIDS ⚔️

For all trans folks. 🏳️‍⚧️

I support you!

I support you 💋

I so agree!!!

This is why it’s so important for parents to support their trans kids.

If I don’t reblog this, then I’m dead.

I literally stumbled across this late last night and it made me cry my eyes out.

Kai is the most beautiful, sweet, kind, gentle and adorable little girl you could wish to meet and her mum is an incredibly strong, God fearing woman who supports and loves her daughter like any mother would. Kai just happens to be trans.

As a trans woman myself, I could associate with everything little Kai talked about and experienced in this incredible, award winning documentary. I’ve always known I was a girl trapped in a boy’s body, I just wish I’d had the courage of Kai and the support of a mother this early in my life as transition would have been so much ‘easier’ as a result of bypassing puberty. Just such a beautiful story about the most wonderful family. Love Sara ❤️🔥😪🙏🏼

Take a few minutes out of your day to watch this, then share it with the world.

Absolutely and all the way

To each their own.

Oh yes i do

support trans people no matter their sexuality ❤

Always support

Gluntz the trans lesbian icon either only wears a shirt or pants (sorry, I don’t make the rules)

7 Ideas to Feel Girly that You Should Try

Many of you know what it’s like.  You are expected to be a man.  You ARE a man.  At least, you’re male.  But you want to be girly.  You want to wear dresses, skirts, lingerie, heels, cute outfits, etc.  You want pretty hair, smooth skin, a softer walk and gentler mannerisms.  You also want to be accepted as your girly self, but that’s not going to happen–at least not publicly and maybe not in your lifetime.  You have family or friends, work, school, and social activities where you’d like to feel girly, but you know you must portray “man.”

That’s tough, isn’t it?  But is all lost?  I don’t think so and I want to share with you seven ideas that can help you feel girly when you must be “boy.”

Before I post, I want to give a quick nod of gratitude to the many fabulous girly boys who chimed in and shared their thoughts.  This list is a combined effort and not one i could have come up with on my own.  It’s also not an exhaustive list.  Also, I would encourage you not to try and implement everything.  Just try a few of these ideas, even if it is one at a time.

1) Smooth Out Your Image

Get smooth and fine.  I personally enjoy shaving my upper legs and trimming my lower legs.  I wish I could shave the entire bit.  I keep my chest, topside of hands, and armpits shaven and even shave the underside of my forearms.  Shave your groin too and keep the hair above that area short and groomed.  Additionally, you could try your hand at plucking eyebrows to a thin, but subtle arch.  I used to do this without any question. Just make sure you pluck eyebrows at a time when no one will see you with temporary reddish plump from the plucking.  It goes without saying that man-hair problems should be taken care of anyway.  Keep the nose trimmed and the ears plucked.  Ear hair is gross.  Other options include, but are not limited to body lotions and conditioners, bleaching what hair you keep, and being conscientious about all areas of hygiene.  Mostly, when it’s said and done, simply clean yourself up.  Your outer boy will benefit just as much as your inner girl–it just feels great and feels clean. 

2) Spoil Your Girly Self

Learn to enjoy the spa treatment.  Take scented bubble baths, do facemasks, and moisturize with girly lotions.  Paint your toenails feminine colors and use clear polish on your fingernails.  Don’t forget to clean your cuticles, having them softly tapered back.  You could also try some slight growth that you could file to a more oval shape.  Use a little foundation on your face or maybe a bit of eyeliner or eye shadow.  Try lip gloss instead of chap stick and keep it on you to use at any point during a day.  Fruity flavors and perhaps some glittery gloss can add some excitement.  If you’re feeling it, be a little more risky with some subtle mascara, blush, or lipstick.  Get a pedicure or manicure.  Get yourself some perfumes to spray on religiously.  The point is, treat your inner girl like a princess.  You she deserves it!

3) Be Girly Under There

If you want to feel girly, there may not be any better option than panties.  You can go as fem as you wish and as small as you can handle.  No one will ever see, unless you show them.  Learn to enjoy a good Tuck.  Keeping the little boy in check and his friends up and out of the way might be a bit of a pain at times, but it’s so worth it not to have a bulge.  A step up would be stockings or pantyhose.  What a rush when you opt out of socks!  And then, there is the bomb: the bra.  It’s not always going to work out as an option because of whatever kind of shirt you choose to wear.  Some other secret options are things like girly temporary tattoos, garters, feminine socks, chemises, panty liners, or maybe a choker underneath a collar and tie.

4)  Embrace Androgyny

This might be my favorite.  Girls clothes that can pass as men’s clothes.  Women’s jeans are a great go-to.  I have a few pair of womens jeans in boot cut and skinny.  There are some options that won’t work, but there are plenty of options that can.  Do your research.  Also, although women’s shorts are generally short, there are long shorts made for women.  I almost got a pair of women’s cargo shorts once.  I own a women’s swim short that passes.  Like jeans, you can find cute shirts, and unless someone can tell that the buttons are on the opposite side, you’re golden.  And alas, my absolute favorite.  I’ll admit, I’m quite stricken by women’s sneakers.  What I love about shoes is that people don’t normally look down at feet, and if they do, they’ll either not care or not pay attention.  Trust me, there is no one going around checking to see if you have on narrow shoes or to see if your shoes have pink highlights.  I’ve walked through streets, malls, shops, parks, ballparks, etc. etc. in Keds, cheer shoes, or flats without even the slightest second look (even though i kind of wished for it).  I have a whole collection of women’s sneakers and wear them frequently to various public spaces.  Never once have I been questioned for it–even in the cutest pairs.  If you wear something larger than a 12 in women’s shoes, companies like New Balance and Skechers make size 13 now and many companies are finally making 12′s as a regular.  Thank goodness!  But it’s not just tennis shoes.  There are several casual flat options that are simply narrower versions of men’s styles.  Obviously, if you’re trying to maintain a guy profile, you can’t wear heels, but you can try subtle platforms. Androgyny may not be as sexy as “all out” but it’s great to have the option.  even if it does look semi-manly, at least you know.  I could continue to write more, but I must move on.

5) Accesorize (yeah, I didn’t spell that right, oh well)

I’ve not done much with this one myself, but I can see where it would be awesome.  Rings, earrings, belly button rings, toerings, necklaces, bracelets, ankle bracelets, or watches.  I’d love to have a girl-size apple watch and band.  It’s your choice in how much you’d like to glam it up.  Purses might be an option too if it could pass as a man-bag.  What about a girlish backpack or sling? What about a semi-girlish phone case, computer bag, or a women’s wallet?  Here’s an idea!  Care to try a hair band?  Or if your hair is long enough, a scrunchie.  Another option might be ladies’ eyewear frames or sunglasses.  In cold weather, ladies gloves, scarves, or toboggans.  How about cute hats or visors?  When you’re at the beach or pool, use girlish towels.  When working out, girls’ lifting gloves.  The idea here is to add a little something girly that makes you feel special.

6) Practice Feminine Posture and Gestures

So, you want to feel girly?  Start acting like it.  Talk softer, move more gracefully, sit more precisely.  Cross your legs like a woman when you sit.  Get into a car as if you have on a dress.  Walk narrow as if on a thin line.  Limp your wrists and point your toes.  Act like you have hips.  Twirl your hair if you’ve got it.  You may not want to camp it up too much, but you can certainly improve your mannerisms subtly over time.  I definitely could use some help in this area.  I’d say that the hardest part is developing the habit.

7) Do Girly Things 

The options here are perhaps endless, but I’ll try to give a few.  I like the idea of keeping a diary and writing in girlish strokes with pink or purple pens.  Put little hearts for dots on your i’s.  Doodle flowers.  Watch chick-flicks (I know, that sounds sexist).  Window shop often.  Go to women’s shops frequently and take in every opportunity to go into those special places with your girlfriend or wife.  With your significant other, cuddle like a girl would and be tender with your kisses.  And, of course, it wouldn’t be a Gym Bunny Candie post if I didn’t say it: “Dress girly for a workout.”  Even if it is in the sanctity of your home, wear a sports bra and yoga pants, cute tops, maybe even a tennis skirt.  It’s not about having a sissy workout.  It’s about transforming your body while luxuriating in the feminine garments.  And don’t forget your girly sneakers!  LOL  One thing you could always try is early morning or late night walk or runs in your girly gear.  I live on a golf course and so I will sometimes get girly and run the course at night on the golf cart path.  It’s such a rush! There are just too many options.  I’m sure you could think of some.

Well, that’s what I have to offer, and by tomorrow, I’m sure to come up with dozens of other ideas that didn’t come out.  But I hope these ideas help you in some way to bring a little girliness into your mundane male life, that, for some logical reason, you cannot escape.

Do you have anything to add?  I’m sure it’s a good one.

Have a great girly day, girlfriends.  Love you all!

CandieHart

Casey Kisses and Ella Hollywood were and are motorcycling enthusiasts.