shi, este final de semestre me tiene modo mona corriendo

no sé coquetear pero te puedo hacer reír

cancel the next doctor strange movies and start writing the Madisynn and Wongers buddy comedy the MCU is in desperate need for Kevin Feige.

we seriously need to bring back the concept of “despite its flaws i still enjoy it” instead of ‘cancelling’ every fuckin thing in sight 

#we need to trust that just because someone loves a thing it doesn’t mean they don’t know it’s flawed

We also need to stop insisting that everyone enjoying flawed things must put 25 cents in the Problematic Jar and recite all its failings from memory.

If I just may add: we really need to stop pretending that “I’m a Good person, ergo the thing I like is PERFECT and if you criticize it you’re an ENEMY”. You can enjoy stuff AND keep your sense of critical thinking.

i can tell i’m sleep deprived bc i just made myself cry about tutankhamun and i have, like, negative interest in the kid

have now made the rest of the discord cry about this little boy who had multi-coloured ducks sewn onto a tunic that he loved so much he wore it to a Very Important Event because he was EIGHT and have you SEEN my DUCKS

sorry no i’m not done i’m gonna make you all cry some more i’m bringing you down with me

there was once a little boy.

he is born disabled. his body hurts, and he can’t walk properly the way the other children do. he doesn’t understand why. he’s a little boy. but he plays with wooden boats and pulls toys on a string.

somebody makes him a tunic. they sew ducks onto it in red and green and yellow and blue. the bright colours of a child.

the little boy is eight years old, and he’s going to be king now. there’s a big ceremony about it. he doesn’t really fully understand what’s going on, because he’s eight, but he wears the tunic with the brightly coloured ducks for the occasion because he loves it. look at his ducks! aren’t they great?

he is a child. the adults around him manipulate and coax him to gain more power for themselves. he still plays with toys.

as a teenager, not yet an adult, he fathers children. they do not survive. he’s not even old enough to have full agency in his job and is still being manipulated, but he had babies and they died.

he does not make it to his twenties. at eighteen or nineteen years old he dies, and is buried. his babies, so tiny, are buried with him.

and so is his tunic with the little ducks that he loved so much he kept it long after it no longer fit.

there was once a little boy.

yeah i think that like. especially with historical figures in your mind people who were kings and queens or important nobles were adults. even if you know how old they were it doesn’t really click. it doesn’t seem real

but then you get something like a little tunic with brightly coloured ducks on it and it hits you like a fucking truck that this really was a little kid and no matter how far removed you are a little kid is still a little kid. their brains didn’t develop any quicker back then. he was just as developed/mature mentally as any 8 year old now. he had cartoonish animals on his clothes and he played with toy boats and probably terrorised the local cat population.

tutankhamun was a child and he didn’t make it to adulthood because he was unfortunate enough to be a very important child

his dad died when he was 8. he saw his own babies die when he was still just a boy himself.

but he had brightly coloured little ducks on his favourite shirt, and he kept it.

and he did not just keep the duckie shirt either

tutankhamun had a little pair of sandals with ducks on them. he had earrings decorated with ducks. he kept those, and other items of childhood clothing. some toys. keepsakes. things he loved, and treasured. he kept them all in a little wooden chest. the chest… was carved with ducks.

and that little duck chest, filled with things he kept from his childhood, was buried with him. maybe he was keeping them for the little babies who did not make it. maybe they just reminded him of good days and fun times.

but he was a little boy who thought ducks were just the best

WITH PLEASURE

(greyscale makes it hard but the duck head is on the right above the toe strap. always takes me a while to find it too)

There's a mama cat living in my garage named Felicia. When she first showed up she was almost completely feral. She knew humans dispensed food, and that was about as far as her trust and interest extended for many months.

But y'all, she fucked up. She had kittens in my garage last May. She was at my mercy.

I fed her meat and water while she recovered and nursed. I gently held her babies. She didn't like it, but as I said, she fucked up, because she was too weak from the birth to protest. The weeks passed. Her kittens were fully socialized and grew to be healthy and fluffy little things. Felicia was now comfortable with my presence, probably because I had not yet eaten her babies or anything like that, but touches were a big NO! That was okay by me though. I figured I would just have her spayed and we could remain civil neighbors.

But then she let me pet her.

A few weeks later she started purring and demanding rubs.

And today she let me hold her.

Felicia fucked up. Felicia is a house cat now

Felicia (bottom right) and her babies (that I have not eaten)

for everyone asking about the babies I DID eat: there is in fact a fourth kitten named Pancake that I had to take in before he even opened his eyes because Felicia abandoned him for some reason (it’s because he’s a tiny asshole lmao). I keep telling him I’m going to roast him for dinner because he’s such a shit head but it doesn’t seem to bother him. Here's some baby pics:

fAtHeR,,,,, reLEAse Me,,,,,,,,, i aM tHe terRiBle NigHT,,,,,,,i Am ThE thINg thAt proWLs iN tHe dArkNeSs,,,,,, mY mOThEr WAs fRoM ThE wILd AnD sO Am I,,,,,,,

FIERCE VOID NAME OF PANCAKE

Crows are scary They

Guys I’m really scared of crows now. (q) 

Yeah but have you seen this 

A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.

Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.

That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him. 

Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree. 

That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.

Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice. 

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad. 

i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.

a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.

i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

Best birbs !!

your son is Beautiful and Strong

every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories

Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way.

As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater. 

!!!!

I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time.

He’s so handsome!!

memeception

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

@caesarianconfection

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)

(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.

average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted

it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics

I was getting a political compass vibe too

tag urself im man door hand hook car gun

This works better than I thought it would.

This was in my senior project

I’m not sorry.

EIGHT MEME COMBO

FATALITY

We have officially created a new language 

I just had to do it to em

THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY

I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING

M E M E T E N

OwO?

You know I had to

I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it

THIRTEEN!?

SOMEONE EDIT THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SAYING “this one does not spark joy” TO THIS VERSION SAYING “this one sparks joy”

well i added my contribution : )

why—

IM SCREAMING

This is the most elaborate meme I have ever seen and damn am I concerned by how it makes sense.

“You’re in your 30s, but you still understand all this meme stuff?” “Oh yeah, sure.” “Can you explain it to me?” “I absolutely fucking cannot.”

One does not simply explain this

Edit:

Another freaking layer!!!

16 motherfucking layers

In the future someone’s going to ask me to explain this and I’m going to be at a loss.jpg for words

I’m not reblogging this because I want to. I’m reblogging this because sometimes you’re a witness to history whether you want to be or not, and you have to embrace that. 

GUYS STOP!! IF WE CONTINUE ON THIS ROAD, THE MEME WILL BECOME TOO POWERFUL!

No keep going, let’s see if we can brake tumblr. If we do let’s use it to brake fb and twitter

You’re chaotic neutral I love it

What he said

Struck by inspiriation twice lads

My humble contribution

I love going through the notes of this and seeing my 16 layer version and 24 layer version circulating.

ive added my end of the chaos

World Heritage Post

How could I not join in on this meowsterpiece…

trending news

underwater temple, underwater monk

underwater rhymes and underwater funk

he sleeps in the sea in an underwater bunk

with mirrors all around him hes an underwater hunk

he’s got underwater junk in his underwater trunk

on the basketball court he does a nautical dunk

he’s got a little stash of underwater skunk

underwater temple, underwater monk

Sick rhymes

HOLY COW! SOMEONE MADE THIS A SONG!!👍✨

this song slaps harder than anything i’ve heard in the past decade

Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

“MUST BRING PRESENTS TO GOOD CHILDREN”

“Yes good”

“AND EAT THE BAD ONES”

“Wait no”

“EAT THEM”

“sasha no”

@burstofhope the Christmas tiger is watching

She is making a list

It is not easy with her paws but she is making it

shes almost here

Okay fine this is the ONE Christmas thing I will reblog before Thanksgiving BUT THAT’S IT

SASHA’S BACK ON MY DASH!

Y’all better behave, you have two months

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

Art by ROCKYS || Daily Cat Cartoon

october third on tumblr is like

*mean girls gif* 

*mean girls gif* 

*mean girls gif*

ON THIS DAY TWO CHILDREN BURNED THEIR HOUSE DOWN AND JOINED THE MILITARY SO THEY COULD BULLY GOD INTO GIVING THEM THEIR BODIES BACK

*mean girls gif*

the DELIVERY

Shakespeare would write this

THAT’S THE BITCH FROM THE TAKING OUT THE TRASH VIDEO

That Thor voice fuckin’ one-shotted me

Jared, 19, is the king’s half brother?!

jared,19 the bastard prince who cannot read

— Simón Bolívar.

We stan!!!!

chaotic good

There’s a happy ending to, because the robbery was unsuccessful, the couple ended up getting the money Eden needed from a movie inspired by em! Also John only had to serve part of his sentence. Check out their wedding photos btw they’re beautiful.

reblogging because I’ve seen this post a thousand times and I’ve never seen the happy ending!! 

1 universe, 9 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 809 islands, 204 countries, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting u

THERE ARE 8 PLANETS, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE.

VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU

I’m pretty sure “Viva la Pluto fuck you” is the best sentence I’ve heard all week. 

DID THE PERCY JACKSON FANDOM JUST HIGHJACK A POST???

don’t believe any boy who says “i’m not like other guys” unless he has snow-white hair, glowin green eyes and can walk through walls, disappear and fly 

So, technically, Jack Frost with green eyes

literally quoting the danny phantom theme song word for word