I would crowd onto a bridge to watch a clown in a bathtub be pulled upriver by four geese and I live in a world with Netflix.
were-ralph
WHAT THE FUCK HELLO???
Oceangate wishes it had this kind of engineering
spacewolf82-deactivated20230412
An excerpt from an undated conversation (pre-1989) with filmmaker John Cassavetes, who apparently was a prophet.
it's rotten work, but without the rot nothing can grow
it's rotten work but decay is an essential part of the cycle of death and rebirth
[First image description copied from alt text: a screenshot of an instagram reel with a train in the background. the text reads: "You know you've made it in life when a 4 million € vehicle comes to pick you up everyday"
Second Image description: A photo of an Amtrak train with the caption "There is no joke you have made it in life/ Trains are wonderful and beautiful machines" in all caps.
End]
I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?
FINE! I'll do it myself
Why did 12 people reblog this today??? IT IS ONLY AUGUST!!!
According to this site, August 1 is the first day of Halloween.
seeing the terms “bad rep” and “good rep” applied to media that was created by and for an in-group makes me want to eat glass
“not sure if this is a good representation of the trans community :/“ right well a trans person made it, and they made it for other trans people, so. perhaps that logic is not applicable here. must we live our entire creative lives under the watchful eye of Cisgender Scrutiny? how can you compare self-expression to willful misrepresentation lmao
The idea of the magic card "Swords to plowshares" is essentially that target creature rejects the way of the sword and becomes a farmer instead, hence you lose them as a combatant but gain the health from their farming.
This is really fuckin funny in conjunction with a lot of potential targets for that card. Can you just imagine you're an average farmer in an MTG plane, have a normal-ass day, and all of a sudden you look to the east, and stretching up past the clouds you see Ulamog, the despoiler, one of the infamous eldrazi titans, a creature that corrupts all that is good by its mere presence. And all the enormous bastard is doing is using their massive fuckin tendrils to plow the land and plant potatos, and tend to their flocks of eldrazi spawn, and then it turns its eyeless head thats the size of several cities at you and tips its wide brimmed straw hat at you and continues going about its work.
“Oh [other profession] wants better working conditions? WELL [MY profession] is HARDER I work TWENTY HOUR DAYS and I am NOT ALLOWED BREAKS and I’m PAID FOR SHIT and I have NO INSURANCE and I NEVER SEE MY CHILDREN so WHY are YOU COMPLAINING LOL”
have you considered that maybe YOUR job ALSO should not suck that much
have you considered
that maybe YOUR job ALSO
should not suck that much
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
People will tell me to Touch Grass and I am just like "I live in the FUCKING desert what grass????"
I am trying but they are so fast and crafty
i dont know how else to put this but to approach books (or any media, really) solely for the sake of relatability is genuinely incredibly heartbreaking……to have such little (or such unwilling) imaginative scope that you cannot stretch yourself, even marginally, in a different direction to what you’ve known or are used to knowing when the very POINT of stories is to transport you somewhere else, into someone else, so you can do just that……..when fran lebowiz said a book “is supposed to be a door!” and george saunders said good prose “is like empathy training wheels” they were right!!! they were so so so SO absolutely entirely right!!!!!
people always ask if you have an instagram or snapchat but they never ask if you have an online journal where you broadcast every thought you have. it’s because they want you for your sexy body but not your beautiful mind. and that’s fucked up. they should want both.
You know that whole trope where like, the protagonists get teleported up into the aliens’ spaceship or base or whatever and the alien appears to them only it doesn’t appear as it really looks like but rather, since it doesn’t want to scare the protagonists, it takes the form of something we find familiar and pleasing and is like, “I look like your dad or whatever–is this form okay?” Like I think about that trope a lot and I think like, what if the alien couldn’t pick out a form via telepathy and only had earth media to try and decide what form would scare its human guests least and be accepted almost immediately and honestly the more I think about it the more options for what form that might be are just really fun to me.
“I have chosen the form of your earth playwright and composer Lin-Manuel Miranda–do not be afraid. I come in peace.”
“Greetings. I am Glofnorbo of the cloud you call the ‘Pegasus Nebula.’ I have scanned your earth media from afar and empirically decided that you would find the form of the one known as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson most pleasing. I have come to confer with your leaders.”
“Do not be panic. I come in peace. I have assumed the form of your insectoid demigoddess ‘Hatsune Miku’ so that we may communicate peacefully without my true form horrifying you.”
“It was decided that I would assume the form of your ‘Mister Rogers’ in order to best welcome your world to the galactic neighborhood without frightening your kind.”
“…So did your colleague take on the form of Jack Black for that reason too?”
“No, that is the actual Jack Black. We do not know how to make him leave.”
“…So did your colleague
take on the form of Jack Black
for that reason too?”
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
my mom and i are currently engaged in a civil war over my plant
this is my plant, ronald leafman:
i rescued him from walmart and he has some long branches that dangle. one of his branches hangs next to the door to the kitchen and i keep wrapping the branch around the door so that he will grow into the kitchen
and my mom keeps putting it back
we have divided the house. my dad is on my side. my sister watches on with glee. my dog is confused. only one will be victorious. stay tuned.
you can tell this website is autistic as hell because someone posts a video with a mildly catchy phrase in it and no one shuts up about it for an extended period of time. or image even. image with a mildly catchy phrase in it even. we love phrases here on tumblr dot com love to repeat them. due to the autism
It’s symmetrical :)
zechery-deactivated20220114
Send me to Mars with party supplies before next august 5th
No guys you don’t understand.
The soil testing equipment on Curiosity makes a buzzing noise and the pitch of the noise changes depending on what part of an experiment Curiosity is performing, this is the way Curiosity sings to itself.
So some of the finest minds currently alive decided to take incredibly expensive important scientific equipment and mess with it until they worked out how to move in just the right way to sing Happy Birthday, then someone made a cake on Curiosity’s birthday and took it into Mission control so that a room full of brilliant scientists and engineers could throw a birthday party for a non-autonomous robot 225 million kilometres away and listen to it sing the first ever song sung on Mars*, which was Happy Birthday.
This isn’t a sad story, this a happy story about the ridiculousness of humans and the way we love things. We built a little robot and called it Curiosity and flung it into the star to go and explore places we can’t get to because it’s name is in our nature and then just because we could, we taught it how to sing.
That’s not sad, that’s awesome.
*this is different from the first song ever played on mars (Reach For The Stars by Will.I.Am) which happened the year before, singing is different from playing
This is humanity
Happy Birthday, Curiousity.
Happy birthday, Curiosity.
top surgery tip 1)
get yourself used to sleeping on your back (and possibly elevated depending on your surgeon) BEFORE surgery.
top surgery tip 2)
have cough drops on hand because your throat will probably be sore from the breathing tube they use with anesthesia.
Top surgery tip 3)
Get and use straws. You'll have T-Rex arms for a while but you still need to hydrate.
top surgery tip 4)
the post surgery compression binder is more comfortable than youd think but it still gets pretty itchy. so dont be afraid to take benydryl, itll help you rest and stop the itch
top surgery tip 5)
sounds weird but try not to flex your pecs… watched a horror game play through and every time there was a jump scare my whole body tensed up including my pecs which hurt like a bitch
Top surgery tip 6)
Have hand sanitizer/ body wipes incase you cannot reach across sinks easily and to also put under your armpits if you cannot get deodorant there
top surgery tip 7)
you might be numb in some areas affected by the surgery. especially if your surgeon does any liposuction along with just cutting your boobs off. right now my armpits are numb which makes cleaning them weird. less of a tip and more its normal for early in recovery
top surgery tip 8)
about a week in stuff starts to feel like pins and needles. i thought that meant my one nipple was falling off. turns out its the opposite and its them coming back to life. the post op compression binder while annoying does help the tingling feel less weird
top surgery tip 9)
you surgeon may be ripped to hell and back like mine and put the compression binder on super tight. ITS OK TO LOOSEN IT A LITTLE.
its there for compression to keep the swelling down but same rules apply as a regular binder: it might be a little uncomfortable and feel tight but you need to still be able to BREATHE
top surgery tip 10)
invest in a long pair of tongs or one of those claw grabber things. i just made ramen that was in a cabinet above the microwave. how? tippy toes and tongs.
Top surgery tip 11)
You can buy little hair net looking guys at some major pharmacies that include shampoo and can be used to wash your hair in bed if you’re having trouble in the shower
(This is a general surgery tip but all my disabled friends swear by ‘em post surgery it makes your life much easier and you can feel properly clean)
top surgery tip 12) it’s okay to sleep on the couch or in a chair if it’s too difficult or painful to get in and out of bed. My couch plus a pile of throw pillows on either side of me was the perfect place to sit and simmer as I recovered. I also recommend getting one of those airplane pillows that go around your neck. very useful if you end up sleeping sitting up and don’t want your neck to crick.
top surgery tip 13)
when it comes to scar care. anything is better than nothing. and you dont need to shell out hundreds of dollars for fancy scar creams. to massage your scars as long as everythings properly closed you can just grab an gentle unscented or naturally scented lotion and use that. shea butter, cocoa butter, bio oil the like. youre just looking for something for sensitive skin and thatll keep them hydrated.
y'all really missed the boat on calling these tip top top surgery tips
y'all really missed the
boat on calling these tip top
top surgery tips
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Did you guys know that the most recent version of sharks have fins that are kinda leg like and they like to walk up onto land?
no way i must have missed an update!
The Epaulette shark is only about 9 million years old as a species, making it the most recent branch in the shark family. And it is slowly but surely evolving into a land animal
You know what to do boys
