Chocolate Raspberry Sandwich Cookies

i'm so nervous about eating other peoples' snacks in their house. they could have a whole cupboard full of snacks and i would be too afraid to eat any of it because what if i accidentally eat a bag of someone's special flavored doritos and it's their favorite flavor ever and they stopped making it and they're also never going to make it again and i've ruined their life now

you have to feed me. like a baby bird

i know this please help me

if you seek skeek at my slorse you hate me at my worst

HOW THE FUCK DOES THE SYAING GO

cool news i think i have some thing wrong with me

it happened again

new development in my brain loss story: i deadass just forgot what jerma was called

i couldn’t make this up if i tried

i still have NO idea what OP means by 'Jerma'. That's, not a thing. I just get random twt account when I google the name.

i wish i was you.

hey guys great news. guess who saw a doctor recently and it turns out my shitty comprehension skills that coincidentally got worse around the same time i got hit in the head with a spinning loose bench board in middle school probably wasnt just an autism thing and chances are i have aphasia that’s just been unchecked this whole time

I hope OP is okay but my god am I dying of laughter

#OP I’m glad you got help and I’m sorry that happened to you #but your aphasia has made me weep with laughter

why is this like an infographic about dysphoria

Why does Snoopy AVE A KNOIFE?

what, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck

fuck whatever fake-ass feral aesthetic you guys are cultivating, this guy has it on lock

Don’t forget about this one.

It gets weirder…

The YouTube content creator community was wracked by macabre tragedy this morning after Amelia Bedelia was instructed to hang streamers for a six year old’s birthday party

this scene is so fucking funny the english dub of this show is so good

loud warning

i need to recreate this truck i saw with my eyes while driving on the highway today gimme a sec

it was like this

found a pic on reddit. 10/10 for accuracy

Okay so I made these without the cinnamon and nutmeg and lemme just tell you:

THESE MUFFINS TASTE EXACTLY LIKE DOUGHNUTS.

I DUNNO WHAT KIND OF VOODOO I PULLED IN THE KITCHEN BUT SLAP MY NIPPLES AND CALL ME BETSY BECAUSE THEY TASTE LIKE DOUGHNUTS HALLELUJAH IN THE HIGHEST.

i made these today! they’re DELIGHTFUL! (i made them with the cinnamon and nutmeg, but now i’m planning on trying them without and maybe filling the middle with some kind of jelly???? we shall see.)

slap my nipples and call me betsy

OH HEY it’s the french breakfast puffs recipe I use as a base for the gf version I am trying to perfect.

welp, we’re gonna make these

YOOOOO… the recipe has spread. I’m conflicted about this, because I keep my copy semi-secret, because I use these to make friends. And then people can’t stop being friends with me if they ever want to eat them again (which is, I assure you, a compelling argument–they are delicious). Honestly, I bake a *lot*, and people always tell me these are their favorite thing that I’ve made. But yes: if you’ve ever eaten my doughnut muffins, this is the recipe I use! PERSONALLY I like to double the amount of nutmeg/cinnamon in them, throw in a shake or two of ground cloves, and about ½-1tsp vanilla extract.

I’M GONNA MAKE THEM FILLED WITH RASPBERRY JAM FOR CHANUKKAH

PLEASE tag ur reasoning im trying to prove my gf wrong

Every vowel is in an odd position of the alphabet, so the “vowels are even” crowd is free to get destroyed by facts and logic

sorry to above but vowels are even because facts and logic are no match for the four gremlins that operate my brain.

Jettison is like one of the top 10 words in the english language, get that fucking thing out of here at a notable velocity

We Love Deciphering First Days Of Kindergarten Handwriting

posting this isnt even a privacy issue bc these absolutely do not spell anyones names. go ahead, try to decipher them. you cant. i know what theyre supposed to say & there is no way in Hell that information can be extracted from this

[ID: the name line at the top of 3 different worksheets. on each is written a jumble of letters and other markings, none of which spells anything and most of which is totally illegible.]

yall are killing me. everyone going "ian ian ian" nobody came close to Any of them. now that theyre no longer associated with me id like to introduce ahmad, perla, & josh

whenever i mess up cooking eggs the edwardian dandy who follows me around looking over my shoulder says "poor show, old boy!" and shakes his head sympathetically

HEAVY George Costanza vibes in this post

New type of weird girl just dropped 💕⛺️