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Here is the about/rules of this page (as of March 20, 2022)
Please read the FAQ page and this post prior to submitting.
@aroaceconfessions / aroaceconfessions.tumblr.com
Here is the about/rules of this page (as of March 20, 2022)
Please read the FAQ page and this post prior to submitting.
When I was three years old I confidently told my parents I was okay with kids but never wanted to get married (being the conservative people they were, they didn’t know what to say to a literal toddler about that)
Anyway I’m asexual and demiromantic now.
Realistically I know that there are other awkward autistic aspecs that exist in the world. But in real life I just feel so incredibly isolated, it feels like nobody I meet understands me even a little bit. I'm always operating in a different frequency than everybody else in the room.
Submitted May 8, 2023
So this shit is driving me CRAZY. I'm in my mid twenties and depressed and I know most people's libido hits rock bottom when depressed. Mine? It's in an all time high, like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!! But that's fine, I'm used to it. The thing is, I've never felt sexual attraction, I'm ace, very much so, I'm used to using mild sexual content as a stimulation because the act, specially inserted in a story and not directed to the viewer, does it for me, the human body, tho? Or humans in general? Never. But now???? I'm unsure af? Like dudes body rolling shirtless, chicks jiggling their titties on low cuts, uh???? Is this it? I mean, I felt absolutely no desire to touch or interact with none of that and it only lasted a few minutes before starting to do nothing again, but it did make my then high libido spike, I think? Was that it? Am I suddenly no longer ace?
Submitted May 8, 2023
I'm horribly scared to come out to people as aroace in case they tell me that it's not real and I'm faking it for attention
Submitted May 8, 2023
I just started getting comfortable IDing with my friends as aromantic, but I appear to have developed a crush, so maybe not after all... This person has expressed hypothetical interest in what sounds to me like a qpr, and we've agreed that being really close to someone and going on dates of sorts without the kissing or whatever else sounds better than a traditional romantic relationship. They told me they had a crush on someone who "can't feel romantic attraction" and I was caught off guard by the hope that they were talking about me. Never experienced that before. So I might be demiromantic? My hopes aren't too high about anything coming from this since we're both self-admittedly total cowards, but I guess it's time for a bit of an identity crisis. still ace tho
Submitted May 8, 2023
I've spent so much time looking at pictures of supposedly attractive people in revealing clothes and swimsuits just trying to understand what it is I'm supposed to be seeing. I truly don't understand what seeing part of a boob or a bulge in someone's pants is supposed to be doing for me. It's literally just a person???
Submitted May 8, 2023
Guys, not looking for advice but reading this probably makes you feel so.
Anyone experiencing "love" from family and friends but it is not the real stuff.
How do someone love me but dislike and want to change an integral part of me?
I am no one without my asexuality but my loved ones don't realise it.
Same time I fucking dislike their beliefs but I love them.
Am I supposed to spend my life with this thin veiled form of love? I do have a friend who supports me but everyone else is ... Disappointing.
Be free to share similar experiences. Like do have family/friends who love you but are aphobic and try to reconcile the two by just ignoring your asexuality?
Submitted May 8, 2023
My partner and I have been dating for almost three months now and we haven't been on any dates or spent hardly any time together outside of our mutual friend group and school. The past few months have been really stressful for us both with exams coming up and we (her especially) haven't had much free time, but I've still been asking and desperately trying to find time for us to spend together and I don't think she's putting in the same amount of effort that I am? I'll make sure to tell her about any days that I have available and she'll say she needs to check things first and then I'll find out that she went to the movies or she'll try to plan things with our friends. I feel incredibly shitty getting upset over her doing things without me and I don't expect her to prioritize me over free time/other things but it still hurts. It's been especially difficult since I'm a very physically affectionate person and she isn't and I struggle to figure out when physical affection is/isn't okay and it's very difficult for me to ask for it when we're around our friends.
(tldr I'm struggling to be able to spend time with my partner and with getting the physical affection I desperately want without overstepping boundaries)
Submitted May 8, 2023
Note: is a rant, contains mentions of feeling pressured to be married, being unmarried in a culture focused on marriage, etc.
Recently found out another one of my friends/past aquaitences is married. I feel so young, and it just feels like I'm getting left behind.
I'm pretty sure I'm aroace, or at least somewhere on that spectrum. Because of this, I made the decision a long time ago that if I get married, it will be a long time in the future, because it just won't make sense for me otherwise.
On top of that, I might never get married.
And marriage seemed like this far away thing that I'd have to think about in the far future, and I don't know why but I kind of thought other people were thinking similarly.
But now, most of my friends are married, engaged, or dating a lot, and it's just weird. It makes me feel old and weird and left out, and it's not that I want to get married to, the opposite in fact, it just feels like I'm getting left behind.
I don't know. I'm trying to be happy for them, and I'm trying not to let it get me down, but it's just hard sometimes. It's especially hard because I live in a culture that really emphasizes marriage. I'm so worried that after I get out of school I'll feel even more pressured than I am now to get married. And I don't know how to deal with that.
It feels like all that is talked about once you reach a certain age its marriage this and marriage that, and who are you dating, etc. I just want to talk about something else for once, you know?
I mean, it's getting better. It helps that I do know a lot of people who are older and unmarried. But it's just hard sometimes.
Submitted May 8, 2023
I am the ace equivalent of a werewolf. I'm ace all the time is except for one day a month, right before my period, where I experience varying levels of sexual attraction. It's fecking weird.
Submitted May 8, 2023
i hate the fact that everytime i tell people that i’m aro, they don’t take it seriously.
Submitted May 8, 2023
i don't know but it always bothers me when someone goes "i wish I was aroace" after a heart break or whatever and its like. i don't know it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Submitted May 8, 2023
I don't get it when people say that aspec culture has died. That things like liking cake and dragons and wearing matching black and white rings of the ring finger of each hand are shameful or a stereotype or just plain gone now. They're not. I'll still cherish them gladly.
I enjoy a good garlic bread as well as anyone, it's one of my favorite foods. For some of us, old happy cat ladies are a life goal. Purple and green are our colors, and the color of friendship's still yellow, and both queerplatonic relationships and marrying people for tax purposes still occurs today. As far as I'm aware AVEN is still there.
I mean, yes some people were horrible about it and a loud minority of them still are, but that's… still our culture. On top of many other things. It's changed and evolved, its essence deepened and developed throughout the years, it being as living an organism as any — but it's not gone.
It hasn't been forgotten. People still love it. It perseveres.
Submitted May 7, 2023
i wish there was a real community for ppl like me. i am an aro bi adult with a sex/dating life.
while everyone i know in real life is queer, no one is aspec and they don’t understand what i am actually looking for in partnerships and can’t relate to my problems at all.
coming online doesn’t really help bc tbh a lot of yall are like, 12, or sex-repulsed, happily non-partnering aroaces (nothing wrong w that ofc, but our experiences are very very different)
i feel like there’s no place i can turn to for dating or sex advice. there’s a million songs or movies etc abt relationship problems but none of them are like mine. i have no idea how to find a solution that works for ppl like me without figuring it out alone.
Submitted May 7, 2023
i told my mom i might not be able to feel love and she started crying. we were standing in the kitchen and she just started sobbing, and opened up her arms, and said “baby, honey, you can love” and… i don’t know how to feel. i adore her so so deeply, but i could drop anyone at any moment. i’m fickle. i have no… connection to others, like other people do. i DO love, i think, i love the sky and the flowers and the world. i want the best for everyone. but i don’t LOVE. and that’s… sad? i guess…? my mom says it’s abandonment issues from my dad leaving, or that maybe it’s my depression coming back (but i feel fine, on my meds too), or maybe my anxiety disorder. my friends say it’s autism, idk. but she cried. is there something wrong with me? why am i so confused about what should be like… a fundamental human emotion?
Submitted May 7, 2023
being a romance-favorable aromantic is SO isolating in so many ways. i just… have nowhere to go. much of the aroace community is romance/sex repulsed—which i entirely understand!—but it makes it hard to fit in and relate to jokes. in ordinary life, i’ll start to have repetitive intrusive thoughts of dating ppl around me, and it’s very uncomfortable and nauseating. i like romance just enough to not fit with a good majority of the aro community and i dislike it just enough to not fit in with a good majority of the alloromantic community.
Submitted May 7, 2023
Do you guys also change part of your behavior around friends that are dating??
Cause I'm always scared that maybe they or their partner will interpret it the wrong way so I just start avoiding doing some things (for example I have a friend that I inevitably spend quite a lot of time with, as we study together, and I always try not to talk a lot with them when we are not in classes cause I really don't want to accidentally make their partner jealous)
Submitted May 7, 2023
Idk if this is an ignorant take but I don't really get the whole kink at pride discourse why can't we just have certain areas/hours where people do there thing or just have some family friendly pride events separate from the adult events.
Submitted May 7, 2023
