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currently crying over spilt milk

@arklypurple / arklypurple.tumblr.com

he/him aro-ace i reblog things occasionally

Me and my coworker were chatting in the office and suddenly a raptor came in and ate us.

It was talking and laughing like the Joker the whole time.

why is the name "Joker" Homestuck green

why is the name "Joker" Tumblr Ross Green color named after the Friends character green?

That's better!

Homestuck is Ross from friends green

Ultimate Word Tournament!

methylchloroisothiazolinone (English, Chemistry Dialect) No IPA for this one :( a chemical compound found in soaps/shampoos/etc that is a preservative with antifungal properties. (not to be confused with methylisothiazolinone, which is also found in soaps.)

rat (English) [ɹæt] tiny gross rodent. Four legs (usually), skin-tail (detachable), disease ridden. Cannot be trusted.

Frank join my polycule

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Frank: You don’t have a polycule! You have a hellhole of insecurity, tantrums, hypocrisy, obsessive performance, and isolation!

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Rezi: OUCH??????? JEEZ FRANK OW

looks up from laptop

the sexy text-to-speech engine

(Frank’s voice) looks up from laptop

the sexy text-to-speech engine

(Frank’s voice) looks up from laptop

ratio!

man shoutout to this autistic guys website for being a better source of information on amtrak than amtrak.com. my new idea for fixing amtrak is the government should step away and cede full control of all operations over to guys with trains as their special interest. not only would this fix the US passenger rail system it also would provide jobs & bring delight to a frequently overlooked sector of the population.

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i can’t decide if this is the single coolest girl in the world for making danger her middle name or the silliest for not seeing the raw power of “millipede danger” which is the greatest name i have ever heard

a group of children are tasked by a mysterious wizard to complete a heroic quest in a magical land. since this is a form a kidnapping, their middle-aged parents follow them through the portal and precede to wreak havoc in the style of Liam Neeson’s Taken 

Do the parents have their own magical skills, or mundane skills, or just immense righteous fury?

I vote one of each.

#‘Taken to Fairyland’ #a wand a shotgun and a frying pan #let’s gooo

At least two of the parents were also Chosen Children, and they are the only survivors of their group. Like hell is the damn immortal wizard using THEIR children for that impossible Quest! Again!

Emma wrapped her hand around a weed, and yanked. It popped out, roots and all - she might not have magic here, but she still had a touch with plants that few could rival. The weeds weren’t going to choke out her carrots, not while she had two hands and the disposition of a particularly persistent patch of ivy.

She’d nearly won the argument with the weeds over who got to use the vegetable patch when she heard a noise from her nightmares. A kind of ringing whistle, like the hum of a wineglass mixed with the sound of storm winds under the eaves.

A Portal.

The next chapter is now up!

pixelthenerdcat-deactivated2017

Cars Fanfic Author Problems:

  • “Wait a minute can they even do this they’re freaking cars”
  • You start to write something about ears or hands and then you remember like “…oh wait-”
  • getting anxious about putting human food in a scene so you just say oil to make it less conflicting
  • C A R  H U G S …
  • “THEY’VE GESTURED WITH THEIR TIRES LIKE TEN TIMES ALREADY DO SOMETHING ELSE YOU STUPID VEHICLES LIKE I LOVE YOU BUT PLEASE MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME”
  • unsure about how to make a scene more dynamic cause the characters can really only just sit there talking to each other
  • “IS. LIGHTNING. MCQUEEN. OOC. I SWEAR HE’S OOC IN THIS SCENE”
  • Or, alternatively: “IS ANYONE IN-CHARACTER IN THIS SCENE OH GOD I DON’T KNOW THIS SERIES AT ALL DO I I’M HORRIBLE”
  • “wait do they even have windshield wipers”
  • “how far can they stretch their axles out like arms omg this must read so awkward”
  • when you have to write Mater’s dialogue and you start  to say it out loud in the Larry the Cable Guy voice cause good God how do you write that voice properly (i.e. occasional horrid grammar and/or catchphrases)
  • *incoherent screaming about car anatomy*
  • “Okay would McQueen really cry here no he’d hold it in- but wait a second wouldn’t it be more powerful if he broke down here- alright listen up here-”
  • “OKAY IS IT THE ENGINE OR THE BATTERY THAT’S THE HEART I’M SO CONFUSED AND I’M THE ONE WRITING IT”
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havahnagilah

i’ve never been more baffled by any single post on this website and i’ve been here for four years

@madame-mongoose your two cents, ma’am

John battle 4.1

Jonathan Sims (The magnus archives) VS John egbert (homestuck)

[ID: The Magnus Archives cover art and a cropped screenshot of John Egbert from Homestuck clasping his hands to his head with a look of despair on his face. End ID.]

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Why is “barely legal” pornography always about age? I think they should experiment with teetering on other types of illegality. For example, they could film just outside of a restricted military area.

pornography with an ownership and accounting structure so complicated the SEC and IRS can't decipher it

An IPO but the prospectus is in the form of an erotic dialog (like Plato's stuff, but with fucking), and it's not disclosing all that's legally required but counting on distracting the SEC through arousal

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porn where the characters start reciting the aacs encryption key but never quite manage to get to the end before being interrupted by moaning

porn which uses copyrighted sound assets and clips from other films in a manner that is neither clearly against or clearly in accord with established principles of fair use

it's lesbian friday

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I’m not even religious and I think Lesbian Friday is cooler than Easter

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Confirmed. Lesbian Friday is the best.

It’s not even 12:00 AM yet, but I just realized that since I’ve been up all day, it’s actually actually 12:00 PM for me and so this post is no longer relevant

The cycle repeats

until next lesbian friday, frank :(