Believe it or not, if you look past that random public domain illustration of a Bird I stole, you'll see that I'm actually somewhere around asexual!
So yeah, this has sort of influenced how I write - around 2 years ago I tried to write a romance novel and... yeah, didn't go well. This experience actually inspired me when I started writing a more successful NaNoWriMo project "The Most Tragical History of Captain James Hook" where, like any good tragic backstory, I had to give the villain a tragic Romance life. Since this book was a parody, I ended up just really leaning into the stilted quality of my previous writing for the sake of comedy.
"The Nine-Two-Five Universe" is a workplace comedy series I write, featuring way too many cameos from public domain characters (including the main trio). Also, due to a series of unintended writing choices, most of the main cast ended up being Ace (hence why I can shill here) - https://archiveofourown.org/series/2955447
Yeah, ¤¤¤¤ up on my part. It is at the printers, but the Product page on the website was supposed to be hidden in order to allow a handful of people who helped with the book get in early! You'd never believe I work in I.T. during the day!
And as we do with all the Faction and Iris A5 size books ,there is a small run of hardbacks coming out first (this is for historical reasons, because when I did the first Iris book back in 2009 it was intended to be the only book I published, and a hardback looked cooler — and Who fans like their books to match, so when we did more…)
Anyway, too late to take the book back off sale now — so if you want a hardback, now is the time to buy it! (For the avoidance of doubt, I have never reprinted a hardback in the — bloody hell — 14 years I've been doing Obverse :) )
The paperback won't be out for a while yet (and the ebook will be out later this month).
We have an absolutely incredible announcement today, this April 1st! Arcbeatle Press has unearthed a previously lost collection of Sherlock Holmes stories, and we're giving them out for you to read. For the first time ever, enjoy "The Cosmology of Sherlock Holmes" you'd be foolish not to ;)
Featuring my own The Adventure of the Golden Bull, and several contributions by other neat people. I even have it on good authorities that there are a few more surprises coming in the later, definitive edition…
In 2007′s Last of the Time Lords, Russell T. Davies drew our attention to the Master’s distinct signet ring, inset with silver Gallifreyan writing, which was plucked from his funeral pyre by the hand of a mysterious woman who, in 2009′s The End of Time, would turn out to be one of the ‘Disciples of Saxon’, a cult formed by the Master in expectation of his death with the aim of enacting a ritual to resurrect him, still in the same incarnation at that.
This was a pleasant twist, and a fun tip of the hat to the method of Count Dracula’s resurrection in multiple Hammer Dracula films. (This is only fitting: as per The Book of the War, the Time Lords adapted their powers of regeneration from the Yssgaroth’s…)
However, I think there are two startling facts about this plot point which have been just-as-startlingly under-discussed in canon-welding spaces.
Follow me after the cut to find out the truth about the Rings of the Time Lords — or should I say the Time Lords of the Rings? (This was terrible and I do not apologise.)
Thoughts on the Vashta Nerada? In general I mean. I think they’re interesting. Though probably very hard to write for. In my mind (that hasn’t stopped Big Finish from trying, idk). What do you think?
If I wanted to write a story about living shadows accompanied by spooky people with skeleton faces, I'd just do another Faction Paradox!
In The Ghost Monument, there's a scene where the camera focuses on a normal-looking pool of water and the Doctor explains that it's full of "flesh-eating microbes, millions of them." This line may have ruined "microorganism swarm" villains for me permanently. Come to think of it, it's the same as midichlorians (The Phantom Menace's intracellular organisms which explain Force sensitivity). Something was undeniably lost when the Force stopped being – to abuse a term – ontologically simple: understood as a monolithic entity rather than something composed of parts. To give George Lucas some credit, I do believe that he would have redeemed midichlorians if the overwhelming fan backlash hadn't prevented him from elaborating further.
But I digress. In Silence and Forest, Moffat stops just short of "flesh-eating microbes". He's too much a poet for that. The Vashta Nerada are "microspores", an "infestation", a "the dust in sunbeams." He's combining ideas here, multiple angles for the old childhood terror / "familiar made uncanny" attack.* And – okay, he also says they're a "man-eating swarm". You can't win them all.
From a purely materialist perspective, a shadow isn't a thing in and of itself. It's the product of an object and a light source, and it cannot exist independently of either of those things. You might say that your shadow is "holding" something, but really that's just shorthand for "I am holding an object, so the shadow I have cast appears to be holding the shadow cast by the object in my hand." It's literally a trick of the light.
But in Peter Pan, shadows are objects in and of themselves. In that story they function not as they exist in material reality but as humans understand them: entities in their own right. Not a "light-object-patterns", a shadow. And in this lens, nothing stops them from existing separate from ourselves. This pivot from reality to the mind's understanding of reality – so to speak, from territory to map – is how ritual works across human societies, and it's what Faction Paradox is all about. In the territory, there were no days between 2 and 14 September 1752. In the map, there's enough to build an Empire.**
Even within the constaints he's built for himself, Moffat can't stop himself from having it both ways. On one hand, Vashta Nerada are allergic to light and hide in the shadows; on the other hand, they can actually encroach on the light and cast shadows themselves for spooky effect. The Doctor tells us, "Count the shadows" – a line straight out of Peter Pan. Or Interference. I know which side I'm on!
He lit a match, but although it burned brightly, it lit up nothing of their surroundings. Puffing it out, he produced a torch from the pocket of his frock coat instead. “Less Gothic,” he apologised, “but never mind...”
At first pass I had simply accepted that he had pulled a lit burning torch out of his pocket, which, although it wouldn’t make sense of this following line, would certainly be a certified Eighth Doctor moment in its own right.
Cwej: Down the Middle established itself as a unique journey in science-fiction, and now it’s back in a new and updated edition from Arcbeatle Press on March 21st, 2023. Featuring new art and corrections to the original edition, this is the definitive version of the story. “It’s how I always wanted Cwej: Down the Middle to be experienced,” said the book’s editor and creative force, Hunter O’Connell.
Jenny Over-There receives a call asking for someone she can't find -- and she can't find the caller, either! Things spiral out of control from there.
The Multidimensional Finders Service: a place you could call if you wanted help finding anything. And by "anything", they meant "anything". No matter who you were, no matter where you were, no matter what universe you were calling from: if it existed, they could tell you exactly where to find it.
This was mostly all owed to one employee.
In the head office in Wales, at a desk with a red telephone, sat a young woman with scruffy reddish-brown hair and a bored expression. Her name was Jenny Over-There, and she was endlessly scrolling through her phone. Not through social media — she did her best not to succumb to that sort of doomscrolling. Well ... most of the time. But no, she was browsing through the app store, in the hopes of finding a game which didn't have a predatory business model, wasn't an ad-ridden mess, didn't deliberately try to cause gambling addictions, or some combination of all three.
She was just downloading the seventh or so Solitaire app when the Red Interdimensional Telephone on her desk rang. Jenny put down her smartphone so she could answer. "Hello, Multidimensional Finders Service."
The Guardians of the Edge from Power of the Doctor, but with the missing classic Doctors poorly spliced in using audio clips from public information films.
One of many entertaining incidents in Who Is Doctor Who?, the collaborative series of sightings of the Ninth Doctor on the old whoisdoctorwho tie-in website. (It’s recently been confirmed that we owe this proto-Moffat lark to Andrew Blossom.)
Just realised — the Arcadians/Benign Union stuff in "BotW" pegging the Trakenites as distant post-humans rather than coincidentally-humanoid aliens means that in FP canon, Nyssa and Tegan don't get separated by the City of the Saved at all! :3
Wow, you're right! Unironically that's been the #1 criticism of the City's canonicity, as far as Tumblr's concerned at least. The Book of the War authors taking care of us before we even realized it 🤗
Apropos of nothing other than not having enough to do today, my biggest defense for “War Chief is the Master” is that none of the show’s “told not shown” aching nuance between the Doctor and the Master works without whatever the hell is going on between Troughton and Brayshaw.
(”But Pertwee and Delgado-” you cry, they’re incredible! Wonderful! Their chemistry sparkles! The anti-moral soaking of the era with the Doctor clearly having a ball playing with his mass murdering frenemy, it sings! But what’s going on there is Coyote and Roadrunner. It’s giving arthouse Doofinschmirtz and Perry the Platypus. Holmes and Moriarty as old queens roasting each other from across the gorge of their burnt bridge.)
The War Chief Still The Master, Says Malcolm Hulke: TV Edition
I have previously used this blog to signal-boost the fact that Malcolm Hulke’s Target novelisations are pretty clear that the War Chief of The War Games is an incarnation of the Master.
And now I feel a little silly, because it’s just been pointed out to me that the TV version of Colony in Space’s guns are already smoking pretty thickly. Compare the War Chief’s notorious offer in The War Games…
THE WAR CHIEF: Stealing a TARDIS? Oh, I’m not criticising you. We are two of a kind.
THE DOCTOR: We most certainly are not!
THE WAR CHIEF: We were both Time Lords and we both decided to leave our race.
THE DOCTOR: I had reasons of my own.
THE WAR CHIEF: Just as I had.
THE DOCTOR: Your reasons are only too obvious. Power!
(…)
THE WAR CHIEF: But do you realise our ultimate objectives? (…) The War Games on this planet are simply the means to an end. The aliens intend to conquer the entire Galaxy. A thousand inhabited worlds.
THE DOCTOR: Yes, but why choose the people of the Earth?
THE WAR CHIEF: They are the most suitable recruits for our armies. Man is the most vicious species of all.
THE DOCTOR: Well, that simply isn’t true.
THE WAR CHIEF: Consider their history. For a half a million years they have been systematically killing each other. Now we can turn this savagery to some purpose. We can bring peace to the Galaxy, and you can help. You see, I’m not the cold-hearted villain you suppose me to be. My motives are purely peaceful.
(…)
THE DOCTOR: But to help people like that to conquer the galaxy?
THE WAR CHIEF: Not people like that – people like us. I intend to take over as Supreme Galactic Ruler. You can help me to rule… if you will cooperate.
Now consider these exchanges in Colony in Space.
THE MASTER: Doctor, why don’t you come in with me? We’re both Time Lords, we’re both renegades. We could be masters of the Galaxy! Think of it, Doctor, absolute power! Power for good. Why, you could reign benevolently, you could end wars, suffering, disease. We could save the universe.
THE DOCTOR: No. Absolute power is evil.
THE MASTER: Consider carefully, Doctor. I’m offering you a half-share in the universe.
(…)
DOCTOR: Tell me, why are you so interested in the history of this planet?
MASTER: Well, this super-race developed a Doomsday Weapon…
(…)
THE DOCTOR: No, I will not join you in your absurd dreams of a galactic conquest.
THE MASTER: Why? Why? Look at this. Look at all those planetary systems, Doctor. We could rule them all!
THE DOCTOR: What for? What is the point?
You may be interested to know that authorial intent behind the Big Finish play The Home Guard was the Master making a dry run for the plans he would eventually carry out as the War Chief in The War Games, as per their response to my questions on Twitter.
Indeed I am! I was aware of the implication in Home Guard, but not that Guerrier had gone so far as to (semi-)confirm it behind the scenes. Thanks for the tip-off!
The War Chief Still The Master, Says Malcolm Hulke: TV Edition
I have previously used this blog to signal-boost the fact that Malcolm Hulke’s Target novelisations are pretty clear that the War Chief of The War Games is an incarnation of the Master.
And now I feel a little silly, because it’s just been pointed out to me that the TV version of Colony in Space’s guns are already smoking pretty thickly. Compare the War Chief’s notorious offer in The War Games…
THE WAR CHIEF: Stealing a TARDIS? Oh, I'm not criticising you. We are two of a kind.
THE DOCTOR: We most certainly are not!
THE WAR CHIEF: We were both Time Lords and we both decided to leave our race.
THE DOCTOR: I had reasons of my own.
THE WAR CHIEF: Just as I had.
THE DOCTOR: Your reasons are only too obvious. Power!
(…)
THE WAR CHIEF: But do you realise our ultimate objectives? (…) The War Games on this planet are simply the means to an end. The aliens intend to conquer the entire Galaxy. A thousand inhabited worlds.
THE DOCTOR: Yes, but why choose the people of the Earth?
THE WAR CHIEF: They are the most suitable recruits for our armies. Man is the most vicious species of all.
THE DOCTOR: Well, that simply isn't true.
THE WAR CHIEF: Consider their history. For a half a million years they have been systematically killing each other. Now we can turn this savagery to some purpose. We can bring peace to the Galaxy, and you can help. You see, I'm not the cold-hearted villain you suppose me to be. My motives are purely peaceful.
(…)
THE DOCTOR: But to help people like that to conquer the galaxy?
THE WAR CHIEF: Not people like that -- people like us. I intend to take over as Supreme Galactic Ruler. You can help me to rule… if you will cooperate.
Now consider these exchanges in Colony in Space.
THE MASTER: Doctor, why don't you come in with me? We're both Time Lords, we're both renegades. We could be masters of the Galaxy! Think of it, Doctor, absolute power! Power for good. Why, you could reign benevolently, you could end wars, suffering, disease. We could save the universe.
THE DOCTOR: No. Absolute power is evil.
THE MASTER: Consider carefully, Doctor. I'm offering you a half-share in the universe.
(…)
DOCTOR: Tell me, why are you so interested in the history of this planet?
MASTER: Well, this super-race developed a Doomsday Weapon…
(…)
THE DOCTOR: No, I will not join you in your absurd dreams of a galactic conquest.
THE MASTER: Why? Why? Look at this. Look at all those planetary systems, Doctor. We could rule them all!
THE DOCTOR: What for? What is the point?
“Our Strange and Wonderful House”: Collected Edition
The House.
Larger than most universes. Older than most religions. Smarter than most of you. She is strange, infinite — and wonderful.
Won’t you come in?
The first collected edition of the 2010s’ most unique collaborative literary creation, as originally developed on Ficly.com, now presented in a clean, annotated edition with an original foreword by Aristide Twain
(Download links and further explanations under the cut.)
…And now, a year on, I have realised that I missed an entire ancillary section which I should, by all rights, have included in the original ebook. Aaah. But the good news is that it’s substantial enough to form its own exclusive companion volume! This is
Our Strange and Wonderful Family,
a companion piece comprising six chapters and seven appendices, which dialed up the metafiction as the Ficly writing crew were encouraged to write about themselves and each other as residents of the House. No Jenny Everywhere in this one, but it features a few more tantalising glimpses of the House and its Architect, as well as the answers to such exciting questions as “why ‘32 Squared’ anyway?” and “is @creepingmonsterism an actual dragon?”.
Pioneers (Or: Waiter! There’s Some Parkin Lore In My Book!)
Waiter! There’s some Lance Parkin in my soup! It seems, no matter how blatant they are in hindsight, the Book of the War is not done yielding new secrets every time I dive back into it…
The Dead Planet by Terry Nation and David Whitaker:
ALYDON: “But you must stay and help us. We could learn from you.”
DOCTOR: “Oh, no, no. I'm afraid I'm much too old to be a pioneer. Although I was once amongst my own people”
Cold Fusion by Lance Parkin:
“Can she remember anything about the father?” Tegan prompted.
The Doctor said his name, then paused. “No, no. Quite impossible,” he declared.
“You’ve heard of him?” Tegan asked him.
“Oh yes, but it’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time. He was a pioneer and leader among my people, one of the first Gallifreyans to enter the Time Vortex after it was discovered. He came from a family of explorers: he led an expedition into deep time, returning with charts and trophies from every corner of the universe. He brought back with him travellers’ tales of monsters and lost civilizations.”
The Anchoring of the Thread (in The Book of the War):
Already, early deep-time explorations performed by the Houses’ pioneers had shown that there were things at work in the formative future, things which simply couldn’t be classified or even monitored by the Houses’ own technology. Attempts had occasionally been made to avert the existence of such things, often using the most violent and primitive of the early time-technologies.
hey if you're a fan artist-- especially one who makes income selling fan merch-- you absolutely should not be donating to any movement partnered with the Copyright Alliance (which has supported lawsuits against the Internet Archive, and whose members include the RIAA, Adobe, and Disney, among others) under the guise of "protecting artists from AI technologies."expanding copyright law will neverbenefit the "little guys"
