me to the demon in the corner of my room: ain’t u got shit to do

Demon to me: I could ask you the same thing

do you think we get to learn everything when we die or are the colors that exist between colors gonna be shrimp-only knowledge forever

i was so angry at everything when i was 13. and i was right

“Welcome…! Welcome…! Tributes, we welcome you. We salute your courage and your sacrifice… and we wish you… Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor.”

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

no offense but the us military is the biggest terrorist organization in the world

THE WINK

why do so many people think spiders are evil and out to get you

look at this fucking nerd run away in an overly dramatic cartoonish way just because something touched its butt

#spot the Australian

leonardo dicaprio is neither a leo or capricorn hes a scorpio and that pisses me off

leonardo descorpio

me watching disney princess movies

as a kid:

now: 

LISTEN

I thought you were dead once and it almost killed me. I could not bear it if you died again, not when I could save you. The Princess Bride (1987) dir. Rob Reiner