“I am tired of dreamless days, and sleepless nights. I think a lot about little nothings and I freak out too little at big somethings. I live my life so differently from other people, that sometimes it feels hard to just breathe. I am tired of a sad, empty life.”
— Lukas W. // Sad, empty life
My surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on Tuesday that I’d be down and out for about two weeks.
My brother: TWO WEEKS? Holy shit.
Surgeon: Well, consider this. She and I just had a knife fight. And I won. Because she was asleep during it.
My brother: Oh. Yeah, okay, that’s fair.
Your surgeon sounds fucking hysterical.
soon: comfy sweaters, hot beverages in cups, leaves crunching under your feet, drops of rain against the window, reading your book in bed
Something happens and I’m head over heels
Don’t take my heart don’t break my heart
Don’t throw it away
kills me
tears for fears just always kills it
the killers played mr. brightside at their first ever performance in a cafe open mic imagine being in a fucking cafe and hearing one of the best songs of the 21st century being played for the first time
a couple years ago patrick did a live acoustic cover of this song and the video’s been deleted for a while and the audio is extremely hard to come by but i thought today was a fitting day to dig it up. rip to prince.
I CANT BREATHE
Skin is a built in onesie
I don’t like this post
You’re a different person to everyone. You’re the hero, the villain, the sidekick, the unrequited love, and and an “extra” in other people’s life story
Best thing I’ve heard all day
“Like 2003 Evanescence?” She knew EXACTLY what to do.
please excuse my grandpa in the background but here’s poncho enjoying her thanksgiving superworms
i will NOT excuse your grandpa he is INTEGRAL to my enjoyment of this video
I want my husband to have this accent
alright, that’s fine, that’s pretty con-fucking-venient
John Mulaney, a man who is iconically known for loving his wife, after being told by Jerry Seinfeld that his wife only thinks shes good at something
Well done OP, you’ve managed to capture the moment John’s spirit left his body
Jerry’s lucky that John is too polite to throw hands
Okay but I just went and watched this for myself and it’s WORSE
He’s. So uncomfortable. It’s obvious. I cut out the part where John kind of muttered, “That is true, isn’t it” about how all men think they’re funny, but his face is just screwed up in this ‘oh god what have i done what have i signed up for this is not good and this will probably go into my next comedy special of awkwardness’
Just watched this omg bless john bc jerry just keeps trying to do some “take my wife” bullshit and john very politely goes no, no.
proud of John for restraining himself from murdering a man on camera
i’m screaming bc i googled her and
I don’t have a train of thought I have seven trains on 4 tracks that narrowly avoid each other when the paths cross and all the conductors are screaming
I need to cut my hair,
I need to make new friends,
I need to lie about the things that make me who I am
Ultra-Short Versions of Classic Books For Lazy People
cliff notes of cliff notes?
This is literally how I flirt. Literally.
Real talk, Bulbasaur would be the best pet ever if it was real, let me list you some reasons of why:
baby boy.. baby.,
