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I can't be bothered

@arenty-nigh

30-something failed adult procrastination destination.
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i lowkey ship tumblr twitter now

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the twitter users are coming QUICK post twitblr yaoi

I have never made art faster in my life

it’s because they’re divorced

Man this goes hard feel free to screenshot 💔😰💔💔😰

The mods are asleep, post Tumblr x Twitter art

Okay okay but this is fascinating because it's such a visceral example of how mythology works.

Most characters in mythologies are personifications of concepts, or embody some natural phenomenon - like the story of Hades and Persephone is there to explain why the seasons change, Persephone being spring, Demeter - summer, and the absence of them both resulting in death (Hade's domain) and winter, and so we can't have Persephone stay in underworld all year round or have Demeter steal her back to earth permanently, otherwise they myth would lose its core function.

Interpreting the myth without the lense of the natural phenomena that it explains would make it lose an integral part of itself, and therefore make the plot and characters seem strange or unnatural. Why does Demeter hate Hades so much, seeing how so many mothers are okay with Zeus doing atrocious things to their offspring just because he's Zeus? Does Persephone actually want to stay or not? What's with the bizarre arrangement?

Most modern interpretations strip myths of their natural contexts, making them character-driven instead of phenomena-driven, which just makes them land differently - they can still be fine stories, just not myths, not is the traditional sense.

And now we get to this beauty. This is absolutely a myth, the most classical kind. The relationship between characters, who are personifications of objects, phenomena or concepts (in this case, online platforms) used as an intuitively understood metaphor for an event (the demise of Twitter and the Tumblr userbase being unwilling to accept Twitter's userbase).

It's a story that can work as a so-called "explanation myths". We have seasons because Persephone spends half a yesterday underworld and half a year with her mother. We don't like Twitter because the Twitter God and Tumblr God broke up. Ladies and gents and other assorted respectables, we here are witnessing the creation of a perfect modern myth.

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Okay but which of them took the shoelaces in the divorce?

I thought about it way more than a non-feverish me would, and I've come to the conclusion:

The modern myth that is The Divorce of Tumblr and Twitter carries the themes of regression, corruption and downfall. Some of Twitter userbase used to be part of Tumblr userbase, but they left and changed (corruption). Now that Twitter is becoming uninhabitable (downfall), people are trying to return to Tumblr (regression, possible downfall of Tumblr), and to keep them off Tumblr is returning to its old cringe self (regression).

So, if we are to follow the themes, the logical conclusion would be to send the shoelaces back to the president.

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This is the fastest I've ever written I think

There once lived a young man, handsome as daylight, bright and strong. He was known as Twitter, beloved by the people, a favorite of the gods. His chosen companion, Tumblr, was not dear to the people or the gods. He, a traveling storyteller, preferred solitude. His tales were strange and often unpleasant to the ears, but enchanting in their vulgarity. 

One day, Tumblr's patron goddess, Yahoo, enraged by his vulgar words, put a curse on him. He was not to utter vulgarities, speak of the pleasures of the flesh. His stories of lycanthrope companions were lost to the sands of time, and with them, his last listeners turned away from him. 

Twitter watched others laugh at his beloved, turn him away from their doors, and a dark thought settled over him. He was perfect in every way, his only fault was the affiliation with the cursed taleweaver. And so, little by little, they drifted apart. 

In his travels, Tumblr stumbled into the temple of Apollo, who bestowed upon him the gift of prophecy. He made acquaintance with the trifecta of wise temple maidens who induced visions through hallucinogenic incense. His stories changed, still bizarre and often vulgar, but at times full of wonder and truth. 

At that time, Twitter enjoyed all the luxuries of the mortal world. He was the companion of kings, wealthy merchants, legendary heroes, wise philosophers. 

One day, a man richer than rich, richer than the God of wealth, went to the senate of directors and asked to buy the most precious thing in the entire polis. 

The senate thought long and hard, and said: "do you wish for our finest singer, the most sweet-voiced of the land, Spotifia? I am afraid I cannot part with her. "

"No, " said the rich man, his voice cold and harsh, "I said I have come to buy your most precious thing."

"Have you come for our gambler, the chosen of the god of luck, MAXimil? They earn us more riches than you can offer. I shall not part with them. "

"No," the rich man repeated, "I have come to buy your most precious thing. I have come for Twitter."

The senators laughed, then, for they knew this must be a joke. Twitter was too beloved by the gods to be owned as a servant. But the rich man did not smile. He offered money, then more and more still. As the goddess of hubris clouded his mind, he offered more money than he could afford to spend, more than the senate could afford to refuse, for it was enough gold to form armies five times the size of their polis. 

And so Twitter, the proud Twitter, the untouchable Twitter who laughed at kings and scholars alike, became a servant. 

As he was put onto a gilded ship to be sailed off to the rich man's land, he prayed to the gods that granted him beauty and strength and a sharp tongue, but none answered. His cruelty and vanity made them turn away, and he was too full of his power to notice. 

Finally, the young man remembered one more name. He called for Tumblr, his forgotten companion. 

First time he called, the birds took off and flew in all directions. Second time he called, the animals fled in fear. Gathering all the strength he had, he called a third time.

His call shook the earth and the skies, and in an instant, Apollo's taleweaver stood on the shore. 

Twitter cried in relief. "My love!" he called, "save me! Save me, and I shall be yours for the eternity to come. I shall bask you in glory and riches. I shall make the people love you."

Tumblr looked at the rich old man, at the gilded ship, gilded chains, at the other slaves that were meant to please the rich man during his trip, dressed in the finest clothes fit for kings and immortals. 

"You'll like your new life, dear. " said Tumblr. "You are idle: he shan't make you do much. You are prideful: he shall treat you like a god. You are vain, and so you might fear you might be forgotten, one servant among many. Fear not," he smiled. "I shall sing a song of us."

I AM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW WHAT BEAST I WOULD CREATE WITH THE DIVORCE THING OH MY GOSH

I know people find this sort of thing cringe or whatever but I've been here so long this stuff is just fun to me.

We all collectively agreed to "be as cringe as possible" but what we are really doing is engaging in fun stupid behaviour and enjoying ourselves and our inside jokes and honestly I find that the opposite of cringe.

I WASNT INTENDING TO DRAW THIS. I WAS JUST MEANT TO REBLOG AND GO BUT I SUDDENLY DID THIS. I HAD THE TAGS DONE AND EVERYTHING.

Its 4am what am I doing

is anybody gonna add the key element of reddit here. of the reddit refugees coming at the same time. and the people from tiktok discovering tumblr for the first time slowly over the last few years and trickling in as well. how do they fit here

*it may not seem like I can be, but seeing that someone needed to hear it and so they let me say it makes me so so proud. It’s a bit of an oroboros but we’re ignoring that. <3

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the only explanation i can come up with for how obi wan missed anakin’s extremely obvious and up front mental illnesses is that he himself is also wildly depressed and just thinks everyone has to deal with this shit

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anakin: i want to fucking die

obi wan: we ALL want to die anakin don’t be so dramatic

One important thing that you should do as a queer person is to find another queer person whose brain works just like yours (romantically or not) and then adopt a cat together and then finally steal that fucking Pikachu and make it big

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Really wish tumblr had a "people are appropriating and misusing elements of my faith and that is offensive" option for reporting posts...

CATHOLICISM 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 AN 👏 AESTHETIC 👏

catholicism’s only value is in its aesthetic actually. sorry :/

also the guilt thing can be kinda hot when y'all have gay sex

Also while we’re here I want everyone to appreciate that This

This wild, wonderful, beautifully animated and heartfelt queer story started here

Here, on tumblr, by an art student who’s wrestling with his identity, mental health, and religious trauma

Tell your stories, kids, you never know how many people will thank you for it

Eddie’s live-streaming one night as he fiddles around on his guitar. He’s sitting on the floor with his back leaned against the couch while Steve lays on it.

Steve is at that delirious level of exhaustion where every thought he’s ever had is slipping through his hands like molasses. He grabs ahold of one and says, “You know, technically we time traveled.”

Eddie, who is less tired and more just high, is like, “Steeeeve, no.”

“It’s true,” Steve insists. “When was the last time it was 1983? In ‘86. That’s time travel, baby.”

Eddie, realizing, “….Holy shit, dude.”

No fuck off. Dale gribble is a loving kind man who openly accepts his father for being gay. Dale gribble is a good man who has some crazy ideas but very few are actively harmful to others and he would never vote for trump ever. He would absolutely believe (and be correct) that trumps Fandom is a cult. Fuck this post.

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I’ve always pictured Dale having had a big fallout with his gun club because they all went MAGA/Q-anon, while Dale himself remained convinced the entire time that the entire thing was a psy-op designed to distract people from the real conspiracies with fake conspiracies.

Surprisingly, this is not a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy reference, but an actual fact. From Burnout: Solve Your Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski

I think Doctor Emily Nagoski has a PHD but YEAH

[image ID, photo of a book page:

[bold, centered text] Forty-Two Percent [bold ends]

So how much is “adequate”?

Science says: 42 percent.

That’s the percentage of time your body and brain need you to spend resting. It’s about ten hours out of every twenty-four. It doesn’t have to be every day; it can average out over a week or a month or more. But yeah. That much.

“That’s ridiculous! I don’t have that kind of time!” you might protest - and we remind you that we predicted you might feel that way, back at the start of the chapter.

We’re not saying you [italic] should [end italic] take 42 percent of your time to rest; we’re saying if you don’t take the 42 percent , the 42 percent will take you. It will grab you by the face, shove you to the ground, put its foot on your chest, and declare [image ends here, mid-sentence]

end ID]

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Here’s the last paragraph, completed courtesy of Goodreads:

We’re not saying you should take 42 percent of your time to rest; we’re saying if you don’t take the 42 percent, the 42 percent will take you. It will grab you by the face, shove you to the ground, put its foot on your chest, and declare itself the victor.