Cat logic

why I’m crying in this bikini bottom rn

meirl

THE WAT GRANNY DIED TODAY. I am actually really sad. I hope she passed peacefully. True legend of memes. RIP WAT GRANDMA

A legend falls

Ah man :’(

2016’s officially gone too far

don’t expose me like this

Ohh so you racist is what you saying

the avengers are such an isolationist group. they have actual aliens on their team and yet everyone’s like “our numbers are small…..we’re short handed……everyone else is dead…..” every planet was affected by the snap do you seriously think no one else would be willing to join the fight? theres tons of planets w superior technology and larger armies that spread throughout the galaxy that I’m sure would love to get back at the mad titan. can someone pls just pick up an interplanetary phone for once?

the avengers: we’re the universe’s last hope….. there’s no one else….. we have to go this alone……

the xandarians, the frostgiants, the sakaarians, the kronans, the centaurians, literally any other alien race: hello?? Hello? HELLO? HELLO ????

@ all my mutuals

@ all my mutual bros

I talked to a young man with white hair on a boat cabin in the middle of a stormy sea. He forgot everything about himself exept for the fact that his name rhymed with ‘Time’ so he started calling himself Time.

I offered him an orange in exchange for a meaningful chat. He took the slice and told me “Nothing’s set in stone, but they’re set in a dirt road. If you roll your wagon in the same path too much it’ll soon be the only path you can take without struggling.”

sounds more like you talked to an old god more than a weird dream.

you ever just commune with a storm?

Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

not if i drink enough alcohol! take that you prying creep

there is a lot of unintentional humor created by the fact that the characters in “Dracula” do not know that they are characters in “Dracula.” 

“The people in the village are warning me about a local legend called a ‘vampire’. How quaint. When I meet Count Dracula I shall have to ask him if he knows more about this peculiar superstition.”

“I never drink…. Wine…”

Some guy in 1893 reading Dracula for the first time: Huh.. What a strange fellow…why doesn’t he drink wine?

Me, reading in a time where Dracula is the most instantly recognizable villain in pop culture: LOL HE SURE DONT

carly rae jepsen is throwing bricks at my house but what am i gonna do, stop her?

Shes just making it stronger by increasing the total amount of bricks. Shes saving your life

Queen of throwing bricks and saving my life

you vaccinate your kids ? i squirt lemon in my son’s eyes to make him stronger against viruses . i activate his fight or flight response . he is so powerful he can now eat entire lemons , peel included .. tell me again how your vaccinated child isn’t inferior ?

😂😂😂😂 because my kid isnt going to die from polio. I could give two shits if she could power down a whole lemon.

my son has been trained to eat polio while your kid struggles to even eat a simple yellow fruit . Pathetic

Omg… your antivax mentality is so deluded that i cannot even begin to explain how you cannot eat polio because your tiny pinhead mind wouldnt be able to process it. Also, literally everything you have said qualifies as child abuse. I hope someone takes your kid away from you so they actually get a chance to live a decent and normal life free of debilitating diseases.

He has mastered laying eggs while your child learns the ABDs , don’t think for a second that they are the same . Your son is 2 ft getting no hoes while my son is 6’4 getting chicks daily . Don’t ever call my head a pin again

That's how life is going for me at this time

oh hey didn’t see you there sorry I was too busy gaming😂 I’m just an average girl who likes fortnite 😂 I be at home on a friday night with pizza, gaming on my PlayStation 360 while hoes are out getting drunk. they watch makeup tutorials I watch minecraft tutorials 😂 I’m a girl

These hoes bruh tryin so hard 😂

sorry different-kindof-girl , maybe if u games u would understand what it’s like to be different . while u talk to boys at the club , i get fort-killstrike-one-shot-AK-47 on fortnight on my PSP 4 . While u were busy partying , i drank hotdog water . but whatever stay jealous i guess sweetie 😂

I need a bf

B - billion

F - fucking dollars

ever wanna raise an emotionally sound child just to flex on your parents ?

I’m sorry but this is the best one like this flex meme just peaked kejdjdjdkfkckdjdhdhd