[Submission] Day 836: 🐢 & 🍓

like theres a reason i deleted the original post. i didnt want anyone to reblog it anymore. i had people literally going out of their way to laugh at me for my 'funny brain condition' and i was getting sick and tired of this. i have stated i dont appreciate this post getting spread around, like i dont know. it has to be at least five times now. and still it follows me everywhere. my aphasia isnt a joke. i didnt realize i had it at the time. dont reblog that post anywhere if you see it in the wild for my own safety and mental wellbeing.

u can however spread THIS post around all youd like! because im tired of seeing THAT one everywhere and the more people that know this the better

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

The hero we deserve

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

god I love tiny kids

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”

I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said “vodka” and me and the parents just fucking lost it

kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled, “MAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.”

I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go ‘I love your picture, that’s a great drawing Miss’. So blindly supportive.

One time my younger brother ordered a “non-alcoholic fanta” at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man

When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, “I used to be that free.”

oh my god little kids in the library are the BEST one time i was looking for a book and a little girl tried to help me cause we always help HER find the books she wants. sometimes when i’m helping them check out they’ll tell me about the books they’re getting. i know so much about dog man.

oh man! another hilarious thing kids in the library do! they will straight up TELL ON THEIR PARENTS!

mom: the book was like that when we checked it out

child, innocently confused: i thought (little brother) did that though?

dad: yes that’s our correct address and phone number

child, barely paying attention: we MOOOOVED!! :D

parent: we never checked that book out

child, trying to be helpful: yes we did, that’s the one we lost at grandma’s house, remember?

me, fighting laughter and trying to decide whether or not the enter the child’s testimony as official evidence or not

I know I’ve told this story on Tumblr before, but one of my favorite retail experiences was when I was stocking shelves once and dropped a couple of small plastic toys, and a little girl ZOOMED up, grabbed them, held them up to me, and when I thanked her, said “I’m closer to the floor, so it’s TEAMWORK! :D” and zoomed off back to her mom

I was telling a kindergarten class (4/5 year olds) that we’re hosting a book fair next week and they would need to ask their parents for money. One girl very excitedly told me she has “one money” in her piggy bank. Her classmate, vibrating with excitement, said, “I have TOO MUCH money! I have ten dollars!”

a little boy, maybe around 7, looked at our piano at the museum and asked me very politely, “why doesn’t it have all 88 keys?”

I googled it for him after the tour, because even I didn’t know how many keys a piano was meant to have, or why this one had fewer (earlier pianos were just Like That, seems to be the answer)

we love baby nerds in this house

a marathon route ran past my apartment this morning and from my window I heard a small child yell at the top of her lungs, utterly bewildered, “WHERE ARE THEY ALL GOING???”

we have two niblings, and they like to draw with me when they visit. they’re recently getting into Star Wars and wanted to draw some characters from that.

me: okay, who will we draw?

older nibling, as expected: luke! BB-8!

me: alright, cool-

younger nibling, loudly and with conviction: COUNT DOOKU!!!!!!

Last week this dude asked the kids to give an example of a four legged animal, and one of them (I think she was 3 or 4?) said “chicken”

The dude gently informed her that it only has two legs and said “can you give another one?”, so the little kid, in a completely serious tone went, “two chicken.”

Oh hey this post is back, who wants to hear the funniest thing a kid has said to me to date?

I was passing by the kindergarten wing of the school and a few four and five year olds were out in the hall and began talking to me. One such kid (who’s met me several times now) said “What’s your name?” When I told him I was Miss Lastname, he responded, “Hmmm…No, your name’s Jackson now.” I was so baffled all I could say was, “I guess my name’s Jackson now!”

My mum was so amused by it she called me Jackson twice the next day to tease me

Love that they put “a sense of impending doom” as one of the symptoms of a heart attack, like girl, that’s just how it is to be alive these days, you’re gonna have to be more specific

This made me chuckle but after scrolling away I felt the need to come back to it.

Because as someone who has felt this I can not stress how different it actually is from anxiety. Which is saying a lot because I have a massive anxiety disorder.

I've only felt this twice in my life - once when I was going into kidney failure due to an infection and again when my body was going into shock due to dehydration and malnourishment due to GI issues - and I can not stress how much it saved my life. It's hard to even put it into words. It's not like a panic attack, or anxiety. It is a horrific gut turning feeling of absolute dread.

Especially if you have anxiety you'll know the difference honestly. It's so much worse. It's every cell in your body and your brain screaming that there's something horribly wrong in a way you've never felt. It's your brain screaming out that you are going to die in a way no panic attack has ever done before.

I can not stress how important it is to get yourself to the ER if you feel this way. Especially if your having other physical symptoms.

he'll do things to dicks you cannot conceive of

Instead of Eldritch Blast, he casts Penis Blast.

⚠ Tip! You can attract someone's [white ass] with a piece of [cheese]

going from the reddit star wars fandom to the tumblr star wars fandom is giving me insane whiplash. the upside is that people aren’t bitching about every single imperfect detail in the entire franchise, but the downside is that i’ve seen more fanart of obi wan and commander cody tenderly knowing each other than i have ever wanted to in my life in the last three hours and it has probably fundamentally altered the way i interact with the entire franchise

Conophytum Wittebergense is an uncommon succulent belonging to South Africa. It belongs to the Mesembryanthemum family and is known for its small, globular shape and unique, pebble-like look. The plant has little white or pink flowers that flower in the summer.

me looking at the image: that's a creepy thing to paint on a bunch of rocks but you do you me reading the caption: what the fuck holy shit what the fuck

THEY GAVE US PLAIN PINK AND BABY BLUE HEARTS FINALLY I CAN MAKE THESE POSTS

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

I’ve been excited that we can make the original Gilbert Baker rainbow flag colours now!

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Sex and Magic are back in the lineup, baby!

🩷🩵🤎🖤🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

🤍🩷🩵🤎🖤❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

🤍🤍🩷🩵🤎🖤🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

🤍🤍🤍🩷🩵🤎🖤💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

🤍🤍🩷🩵🤎🖤💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

🤍🩷🩵🤎🖤💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

🩷🩵🤎🖤💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

love the new pride flag

PEOPLE IN THE WATERLOO REGION DISTRICT SCHOOL BOARD AREA - WAKE THE FUCK UP:

A far-right group of lunatics is intent on overwhelming the school board's process to replace two trustees. Anti-vaxx and anti-LGBTQ+ group, "Waterloo Region for Medical Freedom" is encouraging its members to send in bogus applications and file in candidacy to become the next trustees even if they actually intend on taking the job, just to hijack the WRDSB. They are specifically aiming to disrupt pro-LGBTQ+ policies and programs.

Source: https://www.antihate.ca/freedom_supporters_disrupt_school_board_appointment_process

@allthecanadianpolitics

The votes are in

little ghoul

like if you would cup them gently in your hands, reblog if you would support little ghoul's toxic noise band

reblog twice if you would go to their live show and throw bottles at the stage

little ghoul

like if you would cup them gently in your hands, reblog if you would support little ghoul's toxic noise band

reblog twice if you would go to their live show and throw bottles at the stage

this is an attack

This is love and care and I hope everyone has a friend like this

Link to tweet

brucie baby? this brucie baby??

brucie baby lore

'recovering' or 'healing' by starting to hate your former self + shame or mock others for being the way you used to be isn't actually very healing. you can acknowledge + be grateful that you have changed without transferring all your self hatred/shame onto others.

it makes me so mad/sad to see the new trend of 'recovery posts' on here that are like "it's so embarrassing to not be trying to better yourself" or "i can't believe i used to just wallow in my room all day + burden everyone else with my problems" like where is the compassion in that? where did you learn to hate your suffering self so intensely? self-hatred is never going to be a radical or healing praxis + bootstraps bullshit is still bootstraps bullshit when you put a cutesy mental health tag on it.

Jaws Theme (Disco Version)

Finally I can use this gif

I’ve been sitting here for five minutes trying to think of a way to articulate what I’m feeling but I am too lost in the funky shark rhythm