Put a pause on my poetry

To wait for a present that deserves it

Wake up early

Just to enjoy the comfort of some time alone

A dim room

No stressors No problems

Soon babygirl

It’ll be time to wake up

I want to care for you and nurture you

I want to surround you with healing, beauty, expression, loving calling to the truth, truth, protection

Un mundo de emociones

Pensamientos

Ansiedades

Y debilidades

He perdido la esperanza de paz y liberación

Ya ni mis sueños son tan vividos

Ya si me los dieran no sería feliz

Lo que quiero es poco

Y para pagar mis deudas

Siempre estuviste en mi mente

Tantos años

Dejarte ir parece un delito pero siempre tuve miedo de que me hicieras daño

Y ya no hay energía para lo que sea que quede entre nosotros

No confío en nadie

Mis miedos se esconden tan lejos del sol

Quisiera pelear pero pa q?

Si no voy a cambiar

No creo que yo pueda cambiar

De esperanza dejo unas líneas

“Que dios, el que me conoce,

Me adorne de claridad, amor, seguridad, fuerza”

I count the days

When will it end

I turn from past beliefs

And either in emptiness and heartbreak

Emptiness and heartbreak

Los días pasan

Y a los que quiero solo les devuelvo la mirada

Pero no me da pa nada mas

I want to end things

But what good would that do

Besides create more emptiness

I feel beaten and defeated

I feel worthless

I feel like I wanna die in a cabin far far away

Smoke by a beach

Till my lungs can’t breathe

Why do we keep fighting

Everyday

How do y’all have so much energy

So much life

Just wanna

Leave this up to y’all

Leave by organs up for donation

Right and wrong

I’m always in the wrong

It’s all too convoluted now

And there’s no connection and no life

The more I seek

The less I find each time

the bombings begin

And you’ve no desire for crumbling <222>

So in the midst of destruction

You hum deep and gentle poetry

Your voice transcends the space until the layers are liminal

You find yourself beyond time and space

A tired soul

you know it will all pass, even if you can’t feel it

there is no comfort outside

deep within, you may find thousands

between, you find the one thing that saves you

Gotta let that fire that spark lead me to listen to the discomfort of my soul and see both sides

Seek the truth

And speak it fluently

Understand it’s parts

Be able to explain it to a brother

Without being in harm

He said, “don’t cry. that’s not what adults do”

If only he cared, if only he knew

I shame my tears, I build a kingdom of ice

But this tear father

Was just for you

the nights were dark

and stripped us bare

gentle moonlight revealed our deepest wounds

and an ancient dagger

gasping for air; drowning in tears

outside I see,

the trees, the wind, the moonlight and the rivers constantly sway,

ruled only by their nature

my eyes turn to those of a panther

my blood filled with fire

heart as strong as mountains

our spirit glows untouched, untethered

loving, transmuting, fulfilling

with eternal patience

Estoy tan bellaca bebe

No paro de pensar en ti

Quiero tocarte

Quiero comerte

Muchas inseguridades en tu sangre bebe

Es culpa mía y del mundo y de dios por crearlo todo sabiendo lo que pasaría

No es culpa de nadie que la naturaleza nos llevó a donde estamos

La naturaleza te lleva a querer poder y seguridad

Y también te lleva a querer paz y sanacion

Why?

Because you walk in the direction of where you wanna go

Not rejoice in the lie

My heart sings and hums

To calm the rising adrenaline

To ease the knots in my throat and in my stomach

I sing and flow with the tears

Honoring their origins and letting them go

I sing and work to harmonize

The many thoughts of all kinds of sizes

With all kinds of intentions

And all types of voices

I sing until the world has no more demands for me

At which point i am free

I am only black and purple. I am only empty. So empty

I feel so much disgust

God help me stay aware, stay true, stay connected