yall know what a dorcopsis is?

kangaroo corrupted by dark forces

that's an italian greyhound

me

*friends car is locked*

Friend: stop pulling the handle

Me:

received this incomprehensible email from my ornithology professor

imitate bird squawk to better understand them.

governments asleep post fat pikachu

ROUND 2

LEGEND

if you told me this was a picture of some middle america algebra teacher i would absolutely believe you

if you told me this was a picture of ron perlman i would absolutely believe you

E N E R G Y

Why is this the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

people who hate chatty cats are the worst like. your small friend is singing a song just for you! they have things to say! listen to them

Not only that, but cats basically meow JUST for your benefit! They don’t talk to other cats with meowing- really only kittens, because kittens are still learning how to speak cat. But cats have realized you can’t speak cat, but you DO respond to meowing, so they accommodate you!! They want to talk to you so much that these little creatures who aren’t really about doing work if they don’t have to are willing to work to talk to you!! That’s amazing!!

I train all my cats to be chatty and yesterday I saw one of them on the stairs and I said “hey Nala, what’s up” and she meowed super quietly so I said “sorry, can you enunciate” and swear to god she looked at me and yell meowed for a full half a minute

i wrote half an essay in 20mins today when it’s not even due for another 4 weeks, reblog this to have a productivity lightning bolt strike you like it did me today

literally what the fuck am i trying to accomplish on this website

if you aint got at least one scar/dent from hanging with the lads, did you really hang with the lads?

i actually have a permanent bruise on my nose from hanging with the lads

I have a scar from being stabbed while hanging with the lads

I’ve got burn scars from hanging with the lads

I haven’t hung with the lads and am therefore a smooth scarless creature

You said that in the wrong neighborhood buddy, get over here I must lather you in my saliva

*walks slightly faster than normal in the opposite direction*

“hmmm my post sure is getting some notes, i hope all the additions are good ones”

u know that thing where an animals grow in a far off place and some idiot introduces him to a new habitat and it turns out its characteristics that help them in their own sometimes are too helpful in the new one and they become like an invasive species yeah thats the word i was missing anyway back to my point i think i saw a human version of that just now i was driving in tonights snow storm and i saw a man wearing a big ass cowboy hat to keep the snow off him and a bandit red bandana to keep it off his face and a big ass pancho to keep him warm and nice ass cowboy boots to keep his calves dry and he was prancing along while everyone on the road looked miserable and frozen solid and idk i guess the point im trying to make here is i feel like cowboys would have taken over russia if given the chance or something

As an Evolutionary Biologist, this is a roller-coaster from start to finish.

staff i am BEGGING you to let me reblog this fucking ad