quickly wear the face of the devil is about the multiverse's edgiest teen finding the guy with the Most restraining order violations he can find in every world and going I bet the dick is insane (it is) and then they kill god and plagiarize kelly clarkson
in the US we only have 3 genders. american beauty, american psycho, and american pie
What about American idiot
well we all know which gender i am for forgetting this one
apparently no one was paying attention in middle school language arts when we learned what a fucking protagonist was
putting “lying to kids is ok” on the table immediately looks bad. but theres nuance. because kids deserve to have as much context and respect as anyone else you live with. but also. telling them that leaving doors open will make ants carry away the entire house is necessary until their brains can quantify the heating&air bill
Hyukkie and Dokja hyung
well did you
Noooo don't get a tattoo it's so permanent blah blah blah my tattoo is whatever I want it to be and today it's an octopus
when u exit hyperfocus mode and ur immediately hit with every status effect ever
Oh fuck I gotta pee. Wait wait, I can’t stand up I’m gonna fall over. Shit I haven’t eaten in like 23 hours. Damn I’m thirsty, maybe I should— fuck why am I nauseous? Oh, I didn’t eat, right. It’s WHAT time? 3AM? Do I even have time to eat? Shit, I forgot to take my meds earlier. Or did I? Damnit. Why is my head pounding, oh, right, haven’t eaten and I’m dehydrated… fuck I still gotta pee
*minimizes word document and stands up* My body:
What to do:
I think it's so funny how we bred JOBS into dogs. I have two shih tzus and they were bred to be lap dogs. All they care about is looking cute and cuddling with people. Meanwhile my grandma has a border collie and that dog needs to feel so useful all the time, he acts like he will pass away if he doesn't have a job to do constantly
On one hand this is extremely fucking funny, but on the other hand, it really boggles my mind how many people punish their dogs for just… doing the thing they were bred to do.
Your husky isn’t “hyperactive”, it’s bred to pull sleds for 8 hours straight and you have it in a 400 sq ft yard.
Your English sheepdog isn’t “pushy”, it’s bred to herd sheep, and you have neither to space nor the herd to allow it.
Your terrier isn’t “nippy”, it’s bred to kill rats and your hamster looks a hell of a lot like one.
Your Catahoula isn’t “mean to animals”, it’s bred to hunt any and all animals smaller than it, and you didn’t acclimate it to your cat.
Your Lhasa Apso isn’t “yappy”, it’s bred to bark at any tiny noise and alert watchmen to intruders
Like Jesus Christ, if you can’t provide an environment where your dog can’t fulfill its literal life purpose, maybe?? Don’t get that dog??? And if you do, maybe know the breed characteristics so you can redirect those traits into more constructive outlets????
Both your most common doodle's parts (labra and golden) want to hunt and retrieve water birds so the best suggestion I can give y'all is congratulations on your new duck hunting hobby.
breakdown cancelled, guy in [shop redacted] gave me a discount on my plants ‘just cause’ and then didn’t scan half my other shit either. i was like ‘oh you missed–’ and he goes ‘discount innit’. i think maybe he just hated his job but also possibly humans are good and long story short i’m not mentally ill any more.
Time to update my tumblr and post art
