Kill Cops. Eat The Rich.

woke up today and realized that tumblr entirely killed fuck ya life bing bong so here ya go again

Excellent Point

i'm having so much fun

okay wow it gets. Way Worse.

I disagree that the original is bad... I love that song 🤣🤣

But like... not only does Fall Out Boy's version have some... interesting lyric choices, they also did not seem to even realize that the original didn't just list off random stuff that rhymes

Like, it's in chronological order from 1949 to 1989, because it's supposed to feel like you're constantly being bombarded with things year after year.

Fall Out Boy just picked random things with no apparent order. Like, Prince and the Queen die? That makes it sound like it was the same year, and also ignores that whole thing where in 2016 a ton of celebrities seemed to die.

Also, "England's got a new Queen" is a line from the original... mentioning the Queen again seems like it would be a throwback, so like... putting it together with Prince doesn't work

Also... it's supposed to be events from 1989 to 2023... Metroid was 1986 lol and SSRIs came out in 1987

Like... there's a lot to say about this song, but the messed up timeline is bothering me 🤣

I think the thing that bothered me most about the song was hearing them try to stretch out lyrics over lines or things like Obama to fit with the song when it just.... didn't.

Also the lack of passion when it gets to the "I can't take it anymore" bit and those build ups - there's nothing there

Yeah I hadn't listened to it yet when I first posted, I just read the lyrics, but even reading them, I couldn't figure out how they fit

And like, I know the original by heart, so I was trying to sing it with these lyrics in my head and I couldn't figure out how they made them fit

Then this morning I listened to it and I was like "Oh... I see... they didn't fit..."

Obama is a terrible one, but the one that annoyed me more was "war on terror QAnon" because it would have fit perfectly as one line, but they stretched it into two (and that they had to make the line before it "Bobbitt, John" to make it rhyme... like, that should have been a clue that it didn't work lmao... ALSO why did they pick John Bobbitt to include and not Lorena Bobbitt... like, are they wanting us to remember Lorena Bobbitt's crime against John Bobbitt, or that John Bobbitt went on to become a porn star?? The line is just too vague lol)

Or rhyming "Fermi Paradox" with "Venus and Serena" like... that's a stretch lol. The song seems to get worse as it goes on, like they picked all the events ahead of time and started out putting the pieces that fit together, and then took the rest and shoved them in wherever lmao

(also, the Fermi Paradox is from the 1950s, so also doesn't fit the timeline lol)

Oh! And the other annoying line is "Golden State killer got caught", because the way it's divided makes it sound like two separate thoughts, like "Golden State" isn't connected to "killer got caught"

It's just so bad lol

I haven’t listened to it, but reading what you guys wrote about it, it sounds more like the fairly oddparents theme song. Except the fob song doesn’t rhyme or flow as well.

Literally the best way I could describe it is that it sounds like if you were listening to the original and trying to write a parody while it was playing, by like freestyling new lyrics over top of the original

Like, some rhyme, some sort of rhyme, some words fit, some have to be stretched out to make them fit, and it doesn't sound like a lot of thought was put into what to include and what order

Like, if it was a parody someone wrote for fun, it would be fine. As a serious song? Not so much lol

I've seen people write better verses for a modern We Didn't Start the Fire in timblr shitposts, tbh

#MedicareForAll will never get the positive media coverage it deserves.

what did this bird do

I wish i had context on this 

here u go

I don’t think the contexts helps in this case.

I’ve been collecting these for a while so here are all the ones you missed

I’ve had the ‘I’d sell you to Satan for one corn chip’ picture saved on my computer for years, and I have NEVER SEEN THE REST OF THESE.

I’m so pleased.

There's a handful of notes on this going "well fuck you, do you know how hard it is to BE the speaker and not have anyone greet you?" and uh, yes, yes I do, because I did those stupid ass soft skills/resilience/insert other assorted nonsense workshops for schools for a living for a while, and I still agree with this.

The key to being an effective speaker is the ability to understand your audience. You need to understand people in order to build a rapport with them. And you need to build a rapport with them in order to effectively guide them from where they are, to where you need them to be.

So. Here is the situation from the perspective of the audience: this random person, whom they have never met before and do not care about, is being paid by employers/school powers that be to come speak on a thing. In other words, the speaker is the one benefitting from being there. Meanwhile, the audience has likely been ordered to be there, for no immediate, tangible benefit in return. It is early in the morning, they are sleep-deprived and under-caffeinated, they have a shit ton of stuff on their to-do list, they are unconvinced whatever the speaker is going to say is going to be of any use or relevance whatsoever, and so they see this talk as a waste of time that they could instead be spending on sleep or at least finishing off things that are actually necessary for work/school. And now this rando, whom I repeat, is supposed to be the service provider, whose presence is already a pain, is asking for even more effort on the audience's part by asking them to smile and be chipper. All before saying a single other word that might convince said audience that they are going to get any benefit whatsoever out of being there. Fuck that.

You gotta understand, you are not some rock star that people are already invested in and actively want to see. Those get to do the "scream! I can't hear you! LOUDER!" thing. The fact of the matter is, you are probably someone your audience has no interest in seeing, and until you give them a reason for wanting to be there, you cannot ask them for even more emotional effort. That's not going to endear them to you.

I am by no means a particularly great speaker, but I can tell you now that I have gotten far more immediate rapport and engagement by simply going "hello hello, morning, how is everyone?" and then when I get the predictably unenthusiastic mass groaning and grumbling, and unenergetic "morning"s back in return, replying "heh, big mood. It's final project season innit; how sleep deprived are y'all? --yeouch, intense, well I'll try my best to keep this as painless as I possibly can; I'm here today to talk about--" etc etc. Simple, sympathetic, and while it's not the most energetic and enthusiastic thing in the world, it puts me on "their" side and opens a connection that I can build on for the rest of the talk, instead of instantly making my audience feel 10x more tired and hostile.

If you are not a speaker being paid to be there, but are instead someone giving a presentation for an assignment or presenting a paper or whatever, then I've found that being sincere and a little self-deprecating, possibly just a tiny bit vulnerable works pretty well: "Oh god, so full disclosure, I don't speak very often and I'm sweating bullets right now, and also I tend to babble like a bullet train when I'm nervous so if at any point you cannot understand me please ask me to slow down, but I have a thing I need to present, and I think it's pretty cool, and hopefully you do too." Your audience has probably been in your shoes before, and are now inclined to be nice to you out of sympathy.

In both cases, it's about understanding your listeners and where you stand in relation to them and using that to build that initial connection. You cannot demand connection; it never fucking works.

i'm the guy who writes the books that the protagonist in supernatural horror movies frantically reads somewhere in act ii. job's pretty easy. lot of "legends of vampires have recurred all throughout human history" and "demonologists agree that the quickest way to un-summon a demon is to trap it in a cursed object". no citations of course; they don't pay me citation money. i had to learn html back in the early aughts when everyone started seeking their supernatural info on websites they found via top search engines like FINDLER and WEBSIGHT but that's died down now which is great because i didn't have it in me to pick up css. currently working on a new book about horses that are evil. it's called HORSES THAT ARE EVIL in all caps so the protagonist can find it quickly to yank off the library shelf. it will be published 35 years ago.

when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

Michelle K, I Know I Deserve More

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH AKA WARRIOR NUN COMEBACK

Reposting these tags with consent from the person that wrote them. The post about the Sex Offenders Registry is locked, but these tags are too important to go unnoticed.

Younger queer people need to realize that the SOR being used against queer people simply for being queer isn’t some ancient history thing. It still impacts queer people today. And it can quite easily be used that way again.

Listen!

When you hear people throwing around the talking point of “well there’s a high rate of sex offenders in the trans/queer community”, this has to do with why.

Being on the sex offender registry isn’t inherently equivalent to whatever horrific sex crime you’re meant to think of when it’s mentioned. It evokes imagery of pedophilia and rape, but there is a lot that can get you put on it and not a lot you can do to be taken off of it.

Public crossdressing used to be able to get you put on the sex offender registry (and by used to I mean as recently as 2011).

Public urination (you know, the literal only option for someone who’s homeless and doesn’t have access to public bathrooms, a venn diagram where trans people are more likely to rest in the meeting zone) can get you put on the sex offender registry.

Sex work is pretty much an automatic way to end up on the sex offender registry if you’re caught. (This is especially weaponized against black trans women who do sex work)

“Deviant Sexual Intercourse” (aka literally any sexual activity aside from penis-in-vagina penetration) could get you on the sex offender registry as recently as the early 2000s. That effectively impacts the entire queer community in one way or another.

The sex offender registry is, first and foremost, useless. It tells you nothing about what someone did. It’s mentioned to quickly associate a person or a group of people with the worst possible crimes imaginable.

It has been used against us time after time and it will continue to be used for that.

EXACTLY. And that is why he declared so far in advance. He thought it could thwart an indictment. 

He knew he'd be indicted because he deliberately ignored a request from the National Archives, refused to return all the documents required, did not secure the documents in his possession, told his lawyers to remove some documents before returning others, and lie to law enforcement about what was kept/returned. This goes above and beyond what Trumpsters accused Hillary Clinton of doing.

I encourage everybody to read the actual indictment document.

It's deliberately written as a narrative story and very easy to understand. The DOJ wanted us to see with our own eyes what the former guy did, when he did it, and why it was wrong.

Yes, it's 49 pages, but it's double-spaced with huge margins, crammed with photographs & tables. It only took me a few minutes, even accounting for the times I stopped to re-read some things because they are so batshit insane.

I guarantee you most people defending him haven't read it.

that thing about how removing the middle 2 panels of a cad comic makes it funnier is true 

holy shit

I can’t even imagine what meaningless filler went into panels 2-3.

oh my god these are actually funny

this is 100% true and once you remove the horrible filler bullshit its comedy gold

i love how every plant guide ever is like

realizing I could technically say “yeah my mother wanted a girl so she dressed me like a little girl” to explain my childhood photos and it would technically be correct and win me much more sympathy than just saying I’m trans

“you’re right it IS weird to force children to live as a gender they know they are not”

one thing about palamedes is despite his unassuming appearance as a scrawny bookish bone nerd he has such a fucking flair for the dramatic but he is never going to let it show until he is absolutely certain it is earned. “cam. go loud.” “you fought camilla because you thought you could win, and you didn’t even watch her first, you just assumed you could take her. and i can’t stand people who assume.” “you’ve been in a terrific amount of pain for the last myriad. i hope that pain is nothing to what your own body’s about to do to you, lyctor. you’re going to die spewing your own lungs out of your nostrils, having failed at the finish line because you couldn’t help but prattle about why you killed innocent people, as though your reasons were interesting.” “match to the sixth.” he is always going to bring the panache the flair the fucking cuntservery!

The Mysterious Study of Dr Sex really explains a lot of this I think: He grew up in a society that was basically one big university. He was raised on petty academic squabbles and disputes, where the only way is to hold your cards close until you’re sure you’ve got a winning hand and then lay them down alongside the most devastating, factually accurate burn you can muster and watch as your opponent feels what it’s like to experience apopneumatism while still alive.

If Palamedes Sextus is going to play his trump card, you know damned well it’s being served with a side of “and this is why I’m not only right, but you are a fool and an idiot for this list of devastatingly insightful reasons”. And it will be devastating.