Personal Note

This so far has been a bit helpful in writing down everything I'm thinking/feeling. If anyone is reading this (hopefully not) don't be alarmed it's just something that helps me vent/cope/let go.

With that regard, doing this has helped me. I'm focusing more on myself and bring myself back to my roots. I feel like I've lost myself along the way and I'm trying to pull myself back. Not by brining up the past but reflecting on it, acknowledge it and move forward from it.

In a way it's a rebirth for myself. I'm not denying it, I'm not hiding it. That was me, and this is me. I'm still learning and growing as a person and wish to continue that. This is not the end but it is for an end to this chapter of my life.

I hope this won't be as bumpy. Thank you, that is all for now.

Alone

It's difficult, rough, painful and overall scary. Maybe that's why it hurts me the most to let people go. I've grown attached and comfortable to let people help me without realizing that I need to face them alone. There are certain things they can't help me with that I must face alone.

Be that as it may, I will always know they are there for me when I need help. But I need to realize that one day they won't be. It is a scary thought and I would be lying if I said I wasn't. These are mine to face alone. I can do this.

We can do this.

With or without

"I can't do this without you", "I need you", "You keep me going"...etc.

I've started to believe that I don't need you as much as I did before. Starting to believe I don't need anyone anymore. Starting to wonder if I can do this on my own...

I'll climb out of this with or without youse.

Falling

I keep falling further and further down. I'm starting to believe there is no bottom. But I can climb yet it feels like forever trying to get out. I get go and fall back again watching that light dim more and more. As I'm falling I'm beginning to wonder, did you finally make it out?

And if so why haven't you helped me. Is anyone even there anymore?...

I'm beginning to climb again.

Say Something

I just want you to say something. I don't want to sit in silence anymore. Please just say something, anything. I don't know how much more I can take this.

It wasn't always like this, was it? You're just going to sit there after everything? You always do. And when you finally do say something, it's too late.

Eyes of a Lonely Person

I think it hurts more when you have had someone in your life and then there gone. For whatever reason be it that of a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, family member they are gone to you. They may not be dead and gone but just... gone.

At first you believe it'll be alright. Until it isn't anymore. So you're left sitting there wondering, thinking. You're alone, what will you do? Being surrounded by those who are happy yet you yourself can't be but you have to be for them.

You're alone, you're not happy, but maybe it doesn't have to be that way.