A Devil's Dancing In The Rain...

when you’re telling someone that you were on the wikipedia page for defunct US retail outlets and they’re like “why” and you suddenly realize that this is not someone you can successfully communicate with

BUDDY you're a BOY you're a BIG BIG BOY you're a BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BOY you got mud on your face you BIG BIG BOY kicking your can all over the place singing WEE wee WEE wee WEE wee WEE wee

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

decay exists as an extant form of life

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

I spent so much of my life romanticizing the Great and Powerful Enormity of the Sea, reading about the salt and the sweat of the sailors straining to haul the sails or anchor while dreading the monsters in the cold, icy deep fathoms below…and now you tell me that a fathom is only 6 feet deep -

Six feet is still more than enough for a grave.

Hi, that is the most metal addition you could have possibly made to this post

For every fathom you descend into the ocean the pressure around you increases. By five fathoms down you’re experiencing two atmospheres of pressure. At about ten fathoms, a human can no longer survive on their own, and must have supplemental oxygen to continue their descent. With specialized diving gear, we can go to perhaps 60 fathoms under our own power. By that depth, even the clearest waters are dark. Perhaps one percent of visible light remains, mostly in the blue range. The water is blues and greys around you, shadowy like the last minutes before nightfall. The water below is darker still, impenetrable. But life still lurks beneath you, in the untold fathoms of the darkest sea, in an environment so hostile even our machines struggle to reach them.

Modern Sherlock Holmes but he’s a 27 year old, drinks energy drinks only, is astonishing polite and has no idea how the solar system works because it was never relevant to a case but can name every every person involved in making Super Mario Bros because he did need that for a case once.

Watson is continuously appalled about his eating habits and makes vague posts on Twitter that ends in threads like

Watson: “My roommate noticed only today that he can label his email inboxs but took apart his entire bloody laptop two weeks ago.”

Person: “This reminds me of the post about the roommate who couldn’t turn on the coffee machine but remembers like 500 numbers of pi”

Watson: “I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same roommate.”

Epistolary Sherlock Holmes told through Watson’s social media posts about his unhinged roommate

Making a Chinese lacquerware bracelet

song: 兰亭序 - 周杰伦

English added by me :)

idk why i'm surprised that the traditional way to get a nacreous finish is to just. powder that nacre. and put it in a paste.

YOUNG WOMAN - Actually, detective, I'm a woman.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - She says it so insistently, as if arguing with you. You may have upset her.

COMPOSURE [Formidable: Failure] - You feel a pit in your stomach. You did something wrong, but you don't know what.

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - Her way of dressing, the feminine name, yet deep voice - it should have been clear to you sooner. She's transgender.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] - Almost imperceptible, the lieutenant anxiously twitches his eyebrow.

DAMAGED MORALE - 1

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Trivial: Success] - A transgender person is someone who does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Oftentimes they will dress conforming to their desired gender roles, change their names, and seek medical intervention to, "transition."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Just as Mazov dared to challenge the established order of capitalism, so too do others challenge the order of things such as sex and gender.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] - IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE'VE FELT THE TOUCH OF A WOMAN. WHO CARES IF SHE USED TO BE A MAN? HAVE SEX WITH HER NOW! ITS WHAT A REAL MAN WOULD DO!

EMPATHY - [Trivial: Success] - Don't do that. It's clear now, you upset her for accidentally calling her a man. Just apologize.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Failure] - Profusely.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - It's important to be a good ally.

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - Make a real show of it, sire!

CHECK FAILURE

YOU - You try and come up with the words to convey your apology to the young woman, but you come up blank. It's hard to fit, "transgender" into iambic pentameter, as it turns out.

DRAMA - I'm sorry, sire. I have failed you.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Detective? You've been standing there for a whole minute. Are you okay?"

ESPIRIT DE CORPS - Shit, the lieutenant is onto us. We have to say something soon, or we could lose him.

COMPOSURE [Trivial: Success] - Don't worry, we can still salvage this. Anyone have any ideas?

VOLITION [Heroic: Failure] - Let me handle this.

You - "I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm such a fucking failure. Do you want me to kill myself?"

Literally I think a lot of theory makers need to have this reply tattooed onto the inside of their eyelids

It's because male fandom culture despises fanfic and they think of themselves as the keepers of canon, but they still feel the natural need to play and imagine with fantasy worlds like any other human person, so what could make for a good fanfic they have to twist into a theory (Which is not cringe obviously, unlike how fic would be)

In an interesting turn of events I have been enrolled in a six hour couples bondage seminar despite being both 1. painfully single and 2. Incredibly anxious but fuck it we ball, I guess

I thought "Excellent, I've been looking for more formal training in this area" so I signed up and then twenty minutes later the hamster running the wheel that powers my brain woke up and I went "ah shit, I need a date for this don't I"

Totally understandable thought! But do consider:

You can choke someone unconscious in just 15 seconds. Temporary or permanent brain damage can then occur within 30 seconds. After 3 minutes, the brain will shut down and they will die.

And yet, plenty of people think getting choked in bed is sexy, and will attempt it without any research whatsoever.

Did you know that using binding materials that are too thin can cause lacerations? Or that tying someone in the wrong position can kill them? Did you know that just surface pressure held too long, without any struggling or pulling, can feel like a bone-deep bruise? Or alternatively, that too much slack or movement can strip skin right off, and you might not even feel it happening?

Sitting in a big room writing down notes and following an instructor really isn't all that sexy for me personally, true, but a lot of kink comes with risk, and making the concious choice to engage in kink without taking steps to minimize that risk is, frankly, dangerous and irresponsible.

Like.... every sky diving attendant probably had to pass a few exams before jumping out a plane with you, right? So wouldn't you feel a little unsafe jumping with one that was just making it up as they went?

Perhaps the funniest thing that could have happened lately was that this anticapitalist cafe and community space near my place was shutting down near the end of May - but because so many Texas and Florida conservatives celebrated it online, the place got a huge donation to keep operating

It's a great place. It functions mostly like a regular cafe but it has this free/pay what you want drip coffee for anyone who wants it, free bathroom use, and it stocks indie merch and books on antifascist, queer, leftist, socialist, indigenous topics. I've met a lot of awesome people there.

Its very existence enrages conservatives, and anarchocapitalists who tried to claim it only to be shown the middle finger by its anticapitalist owner, who is an all around nice dude (and a fellow Elden Ring fan)

If you can toss a coin to its continued operation, please do! Upon request from their followers on insta they opened a Gofundme. Even just a few dollars will be a huge help.

Real talk why does social interaction feel like you’re trying to get a good grade in being a person

Ahhh, glad to see it always comes back to this

omfg i forgot that i never showed tumblr my greatest achievement. my pride and joy, my pi-ass de résistance

you're welcome

if you reblog this i am kissing you on the mouth. no that is not negotiable. we are in love now. we are dating. we are planning the wedding. i will be with you on your wedding night

Name one person over 30 who is not weird and creepy, I'll wait.

dolly parton. next question.

I’m really interested by the violence westeros enacts on children. the violence girls and women go through in these books has been discussed at lengths but that same violence is also enacted on helpless characters just out of boyhood. jaime was only seventeen when he was given to the king and the older sworn brothers never once protected him from the horrors he found in king’s landing. grrm invites us to laugh at lancel alongside tyrion but then affc comes along - and we see the kid who was sexually abused beneath the ridiculous and self important wanna be knight. aeron, theon and sam were all hurt because they couldn’t fight back - and so many of their choices stem from the fear of being hurt again. podrick is just a little squire and everyone abandons him to die : ‘I’m his squire! but he left me.’ the young priest on victarion’s ship, mycah, the miller’s sons, craster’s sons… violence is everywhere! the land is truly one in that sense

I feel like the gender horror is particularly potent when you look at the clegane brothers. in acok, sandor accompanies sansa and they both protect each other. he protects her from her own naivety and warns her against impulsivity. she protects him from complete despair : ‘he wasn’t a true knight.’ sandor spouts nihilistic life lessons left and right but all of it comes from the hurt he suffered as a boy. gregor, horrific as he is, is an even more obvious sort of monster. we never get his pov - we’re always witnesses to his horrific acts of violence. but his gigantism hurts him. he’s constantly drinking milk of the poppy to alleviate his mind. it’s like. there’s no victory or pleasure to this violence! it’s all the way down miserable. as it is, his story is also one of exploitation - he became tywin’s attack dog when he was twelve. and when he dies, he is reanimated again. made stronger. made even more inhuman. because knighthood is an ogre that eats children and knighthood is now him!

+ blood motif & knighthood

why does the chain by fleetwood mac go so hard there's no beat drop or anything just a guitar/bass instrumental and lyrics that absolutely fuck

the main difference between the two sides of the dance of the dragons is that the greens are antivaxxers because alicent is logged the fuck in to larys strong westerosi infowars tracking chip conspiracies and keeps getting ravens from her dad about how the septons and the maesters all believe leeches are the only vegan organic non toxic good way to cure diseases. the blacks are antivaxxers because daemon refuses to let foreign substances touch his pure valyrian blood or whatever but he also does coke

the reviews are in folks

house md might be the medical malpractice show but in grey’s anatomy catherine heigl’s character once fell in love with a heart transplant patient and when he was about to lose an upcoming heart bc he wasn’t sick enough she deliberately made him more sick so he could get the heart, basically stealing it from someone else. and then the guy. dies anyway. like at least when chase killed someone on purpose he was getting rid of a genocidal dictator.