I can be a little vain (as a treat)

my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully

okay so

yes

i kissed him on the lips infront of his parents and claimed it was the usual greek greeting between men is that enough for you

Are you…. Are you secretly dating her brother OP?

yes

I wonder why

Show up again to admit to dating the brother, but dress like a typical suburbanite and act like you've never met the parents before. Absolute power move.

asdgfgsjfh im totally doing this

want an update?

ofc you do

but i'm too tired to write all of what happened down right now so instead try to imagine the most awkward situation you've ever been in.

now multiply the awkwardness by 100

first of all i'm just gonna show the difference in what i was wearing

an example of what i would wear as my friend's fake bf:

and as my boyfriend's actual bf:

when my bf and i showed up his dad did such a double take

sooo yeah my bf told his parents he's gay, they looked surprised but told him it was fine... then they shared a look of pure horror (seriously, it was like they had just found out they're in the matrix) and said

"and uh. why is...he here?"

i went and introduced myself like we had never met before and said i was their son's boyfriend

:3

i've never seen two people look more angry before but they weren't gonna say anything because they had other family members over

the family members who had never met me before and therefore knew nothing about the fake relationship thing started asking me what faith i am. i said i was raised protestant, though i'm not very religious now, but that's something i want to change. i had never mentioned anything about being a protestant before and i had said several times that my family was greek orthodox but gaslight gatekeep girlboss

aaaand then the awkwardness began. those were probably the most awkward minutes of my life (we didn't stay for long because i thought the dad was gonna hit me [he probably was. i saw him clenching his fists several times]) and i don't think anyone has ever looked at me with such murderous intent as my bf's parents

update two electric boogaloo ig

i have a girlfriend now🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

hi i finally read harrow the ninth and WTF??? WTF???? WTF!!!!!!!!!!!???????? maybe sometime in the future ill draw more real fanart but until then take all my cope meme doodles

its also worth mentioning the person that told me to read scott pilgrim in middle school is a girl now and i am also transgender now so idk something to think about. whatever kind of psychic communication was happening there

nerdy middle school “boy”: hey theres this cool comic i think you’ll really like but girls kiss in it just warning you…. if that kind of thing um bothers you

nerdy middle school “girl”: what comic. giveme the comic

With all due disrespect anyone who thinks a full grown adult can survive off of 12$/hr in 2023 should die

hey, can my cat stay on your blog for a little while?

i'm going out of town for the night and could use someone to watch her

thank you, everyone

oh jeepers, if i'd known she'd be travelling around this much, i'd've given her her leash

make sure to hold on tight to her, okay?

Going full byzantine with this piece because what's the locked tomb without drama?

what if the vengeful soul of the earth remembered the people who cared about her and braided her hair every morning. what then

(bonus because I know this is what you guys wanted and I'd hate to disappoint)

Just had a dream that a novel exists which is written from the POV of an old man dying in the 1920s in the form of diary entries and bit by bit it's revealed it's actually a closeted trans woman who was out during her youth and forced to recloset and now I desperately want to read it

The narrator was like, referring to a girl called Sarah in all the writings, and at the start it's super unclear who Sarah actually is and it's speculated by the people around that she may be a lover from the narrator's youth, until it's noted that Sarah had heterochromia and that's the defining trait of the narrator

Oh also Sarah did actually have a lover. They were T4T and lived in a little cottage by a lake until he was drowned in it and Sarah couldn't make ends meet anymore and had to recloset

Okay a bunch of people have told me to write the thing now so I've decided if this post gets 30K I'm turning the thing into an epistolary novel.

I want to read this! We must have it!

AITA for not telling my son we know he’s queer. I 40s(m) and my wife 40s(f) have a 17 (m) son lately he’s been sneaking around and keeps almost starting to come out and then backing out or getting interrupted. It’s exhausting and I think we should just tell him we know but I’m not sure that’s the best course of action? I worry it might come off wrong.the worst part is his grades have been slipping and if he’s sneaking around with a boyfriend that might be what was causing it? I don’t care if he has a boyfriend I just want him to succeed.

EDIT: nvm he’s Spider-Man

tlt modern AU where Gideon and Harrow have a cat named Bread that likes to sit in the drawer

Gideon wakes up to this scribbled post it note taped onto her forehead:

Inspired.

Either they're related or this is the same person

It wasn’t me this time, I swear

I'd like to believe you but we both know what you're capable of

I made sourdough like that. We jokingly called it the “tasty brick” and cut off super thin slices because it WAS delicious, but it was so dense, a single normal slice would sit heavy in your belly like a brick.

i was gonna post it here anyway but this works too lmfao

#ikd sounds sexy to me

@hadeantaiga

I hadn't checked who put this on my dash before I read it but I saw the tag and knew it had to be you.

I am nothing if not predictable lololol

If you've ever wondered why people in Hawai'i hate tourists, try to wrap your mind around the fact that there are CURRENTLY, RIGHT NOW, tourists sipping martinis and looking at fish within swimming range of the fresh corpses of local people who couldn't escape the overnight destruction of their entire town.

Try to comprehend that there are fully functional, high capacity boats passing through the waters in front of an area full of survivors who are stranded and in need of supplies, refusing to help. They are hosting snorkeling tours.

Really think about, try your best to actually picture over two thousand people unhoused and in need of shelter, with nothing but the clothes on their backs and nothing to return to. Understand that the island, stolen land, is littered with hotels full of air conditioned of rooms with beds and showers and toilets, each fully equipped to host hundreds of families for weeks, turning these people away because they're booked up with tourists who refuse to leave.

And understand that these tourists were offered free transport to return home or be hosted on other islands. Free. Courtesy of local tax dollars. 4,000 wealthy tourists were offered free flights shelter on Oahu and begged to leave the island, BEFORE the survivors were given shelter.

And enough still insisted on remaining and carrying out their vacations that people are left without shelter and resources while they enjoy "their stay in paradise".

In case this gains any traction, I NEED people to understand that this is not an invitation for mainlanders to get on a soapbox and start telling each other whether or not or how to visit Hawai'i. The tourism situation is complex and difficult and you don't get it if you haven't lived through it at minimum wage. You don't fully understand the complexities and you will not. And you are liable to do more harm by trying to dictate rules and ethics of visiting the islands to each other.

If you want to help, listen to local people. Seek out and boost what they're saying. Send each other local sources of information. Research from local sources. DO NOT take this crisis as an opportunity to insert your views and speak for us.

last to join the group : Cam & Pal ⚔️

contrary to popular belief I have not forgotten how to draw men. yet.

ɪ ᴅɪᴇᴅ ᴋɴᴏᴡɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴅʏɪɴɢ; ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏɴᴀɢᴇꜱɪᴍᴜꜱ, ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟꜱᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʜᴏᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ. ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀꜱᴛ ɪ'ᴅ ʜᴀᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴀᴛᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ.

oh you hate me? you see my big beautiful sad brown eyes and you’re gonna hate me?

don’t reblog this and add your eye color this is specifically for brown eyes ONLY

We CANNOT have snudity (snake nudity) on this webbed site

Gotta respect their snivacy (snake privacy)

can white people stop boo-hooing about how they lost their favorite vacation spot because of the fires on maui? it’s vile. people lost their lives and their homes. no one gives a shit that your colonizing ass can’t go somewhere you were never welcome anyway

i want to clarify something because a lot of people in the tags seem shocked that people would really be so callous. but what you have to understand is that people are doing this in a way that probably to your average person just looks like them being “empathetic”. but it’s literally just tourists centering themselves. it’s in a way that’s almost like “i have laid eyes on the beauty of this place and therefore am more qualified to mourn its loss” and posting pictures of their vacations there. and it’s media outlets giving a shit about what tourists and colonizers think about this loss as much if not more than native islanders

please reblog this version!!