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@apainfulgoat

So last week I tried moaning every time I ate something delicious.

It was vaguely uncomfortable and unnatural

I actually love the idea of doing this trying out fanfic/literary cliche’s out in real life, kinda wanna make up a list and undertake it as a challenge.

don’t forget to make your butthole flutter today

Guess someone’s eye color from 20 feet away.

Be careful with these. I started reading fanfiction three years ago and now I have to toe my shoes off to get my feet out.

But do you pad across rooms? 

Yes but I often give away my position when I huff.

FYI, I’m smirking at all y’all.

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I’m resisting the urge to card my fingers through everybody’s hair.

This is as good a time as any to admit that right now I smell like coffee, sandalwood soap, and something uniquely myself.

I hate this post so much I clenched my fists and looked away, muscles bunching in my jaw. 

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i’m so glad to see i’m not alone, i let out a breath i didn’t know i was holding

I’m grinning widely at this

I chuckled lightly upon reading this post.

I’m humming appreciatively.

this post is calling me out personally and every single one of you, with all the love in my heart, can shut the fuck up

I hate everything about this

i’m going to bring up this post to intentionally annoy you

*loud screeching*

I found it so troublesome to re-blog this with my entire body trembling from laughter.

reblogging as my eyebrows cock with intrigue.

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In the Italian city of Verona, local street artist Cibo paints colorful wall art full of appetizing food over neo-nazi graffiti (x)

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“It’s my civic duty, and my right … honestly I feel like have a right to cover [erase] these kinds of things. Since I’m doing a public form of art, I have to take care of my city and … it’s like my own art gallery. How do you explain a swastika to a child? How do you do it? It’s impossible. It’s a racist message. And it’s not okay .”

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I invite my closest friends and family to a gender reveal party, but when I open the box with maniacal flourish instead of pink or blue balloons, a television screen is revealed.

I dim the lights remotely as we hear Cate Blanchett say, “The world is changed. I feel it in the water.”

Too late, they realise.

The pregnancy? A scam.

The Lord of the Rings editions? Extended.

The doors? Locked.

there’s a decent amt of neurologists who’ve called the sleep schedules we’re obligated to be on despite flagrant conflict with our natural circadian rhythms “borderline torture” and the work hours we’re expected to put in despite the fact that the average person can only maintain maximal efficiency and focus for 3 hours at a time “nearly inhumane” and i think about that a lot