hear me out, nintendo
In the midst of all these “Humans will packbond with anything” posts, I’m going to pause and give you some actual, real-world career advice
Ready? Humans are packbondy creatures. I mean, there’s just no arguing it. They packbond readily, and quickly, and unbelievably strongly. Once a human has packbonded with a thing, they will do anything to help and protect that thing.
There’s a downside to that, not often mentioned. It uses up a lot of their time and energy to build those packbonds, maintain those packbonds, and most especially to do the work of helping and protecting those with whom they have packbonded. It doesn’t leave them a lot of time and energy for helping other beings. If you want a human to help you – if you want to reliably get their best effort – you have to packbond with them first. “Yeah? So?” So you’re probably going to be working with humans for most, if not all, of your career. No matter how good or bad you are at your job, there will come a time when you need someone else in your workspace to help you with something, whether that’s manning the fry station for 2 minutes while you pee, sending over those numbers from marketing, or dropping everything to teach you how to do a thing that your boss told you to do or else you’d be fired. Not to mention the big things. They don’t give promotions to just their friends – at least not so much any more. Promotions go to the people who’ve completed big, visible, important projects. It seems fair until you consider,,,, who gets the big, important, visible projects assigned to them in the first place? Humans give boosts to the people they’ve packbonded with. They mention packbondee’s accomplishments to the boss (or the boss’ boss). They cover for the mistakes of people they’ve packbonded with.
“That’s not right! It shouldn’t be a popularity contest! It should be about who does the best –” Listen to me. Listen.
You may be right. You may be the most correct creature to have ever spoken since the beginning of galactic civilization. It does not matter Humans packbond. It’s what they do. I can’t stop it. You can’t stop it. No power in the ‘verse can stop it. This is how the human do. All you can do is work with it. If you want a human to help you – if you want to reliably get their best effort – you have to packbond with them first. “Look, I’m introverted and scared of people and I have social anxiety so I really don’t know how to –” Hey, my pal, I feel you. I, too, am introverted. And I have social anxiety. And I have PTSD that actually – and I recognize that this is bizarre – has ‘business networking’ as a trigger. For you, I have good news: Humans will packbond with anything. Like, you don’t really actually have to do anything. You kinda just have to… exist. In their presence. They kinda do the rest. If you can talk with them, that speeds things up. But it doesn’t have to be, like, good conversation. Like, it can totally go You: boy, sure is hot out! Human: Man oh man, can you believe it? You: Wow, yeah Human: Totally You: …. Human: ….
This conversation – as awkward and uncomfortable as it felt to you, has caused this human to packbond with you a little more. If you repeat it weekly, you will get good results.
THE TAKEAWAYS
- You need to packbond with the humans you come in contact with
- Taking time to do that is not only justifiable, it is an important part of your job, and should be treated as such
- That is to say that, as much as you hate it (and believe me, I understand), you have to take time away from actual work and dedicate it to packbonding with your fellow workers
Tips
- Plan out your packbonding time. It’s easier if you can initiate than if a human springs packbonding-time on you all unexpected. In an office job I like to use Friday afternoon, but adjust according to what makes sense to you and your situation.
- Keep some packbonding-time questions handy. My go-to list is:
- (If it’s Monday or Tuesday) How was your weekend?
- (If it’s Wednesday) How’s your week been so far?
- (If it’s Thursday or Friday) Any big plans for the weekend?
- How’s your day been?
- You don’t have to care about the answers to these questions. All you have to do is remember that if the human is answering questions, they are not asking you any questions. Therefore questions are your friend. If you ask follow-up questions, you may be able to get through the entire packbonding time without having to do any of the talking
- Learn to disengage from packbonding. You can use basically the same sentence (or variants on it), but you’ll want to practice it so that you can make it sound natural. I use “Awesome! Well, I gotta get going. Have a good one!”
I know it feels overwhelming, but a few minutes of packbonding, once a week, is all you need. Once you build it into your habits it can be no more annoying than doing dishes or showering.
mockiato
So we’re just not gonna talk about how OP is an alien anthropologist investigating the human species before infiltrating huh
“That is to say that, as much as you hate it (and believe me, I understand), you have to take time away from actual work and dedicate it to packbonding with your fellow workers”
In many of my shittiest jobs I wasn’t allowed to talk to the other employees because the bosses say we couldn’t do our jobs if we were socializing. Now that it has been phrased this way it makes me realize how not only just how life-sucking that is but also how dehumanizing.
They won’t even let us packbond.
Pretty sure that’s by design. They know you won’t talk to the bosses, much less packbond with them, but if you bond with your coworkers? Well. That’s perilously close to unionizing, but arguably more dangerous. Now you actually care about them, like with your real *heart*.
I love that this concept has gone full circle from “let’s talk about how humans interact to aliens” to “let’s look at humans through an alien lens” to “let’s use our observations about humans to now interact with other humans.” It’s exactly what scifi is supposed to make you do: challenge your assumptions about how you view the world so that maybe you can approach your world from a new POV. Just perfect.
oh to be a powerful lesbian sorceress living in the snowy evergreen forests of some slavic country, reviled by village elders as a wicked, seductive temptress for spiriting their wives and daughters away to come live with me in my log cabin where we pick berries and mushrooms and roast them with meat over campfires and sleep together on piles of bear and deerskin furs
hexglyphs
oh this post is anti TERF btw. my forest sanctuary is trans inclusive and you can die mad about it.
Hey y'all I found the Baba Yaga
hexglyphs
the baba yaga supports trans rights pass it on
The triumphant goodmorning tale of ME versus the extra sleep trap. After over a week of shameful losses I finally won today!
shittydinosaurdrawings
Also here is an illustrate of the nighttime end of it:
I was slipping again for a while but my sleeps are good this week! Yay!
shittydinosaurdrawings
once again I was bad about sleeps for a long time but this past week I have done good early sleeps woken up at 7 or so which is good. it is 9:03 right now so must get ready for do sleep soon.
wow this dinosaur really got things done this week! I’m happy for them!
Reblog the dinosaur of good sleep habits for a week of good sleep habits
>Too lazy to line, slaps colors ‘cause everything is better in color.
so this is based off the one of the hottest gifs in existence, @psianabel posted it in the mm discord and simply left us with a “what if this was mm?” prompt and WELP❗️lookit what u did 🙃
also, in hindsight I should’ve just rotoscoped it bc now I’m braindead af lul
Anonymous asked:
AU where Hitomi and Sayaka fall in love instead and Hitomi finds Sayaka's soul gem during a sleepover. She already knows what it's for, so being a devious prankster she kisses it and starts to lick it. Sayaka wakes up, feeling insanely aroused, and Hitomi, seeing what effect it's having, takes it further. And then sex happens.
WHOOPS MY HANDS SLIPPED
Ooh boy this was I thing I did huh
metagorgon
@promethearecycling AAAAAA
My sister saw me doing this drawing it was so embarrassing, I never did a drawing like this, i hate me for make this…..
(That joke only works in spanish)
In honor of the new community standards, let’s take the time to appreciate some artwork. Delacroix’s “Liberty Leading the People”, 1831. An iconic depiction of revolutionary fervor in 19th century France, and a key work of French Romanticism, this painting is on display in the Louvre (and can be found on-line at <url=http://www.the-athenaeum.org/art/detail.php?ID=12773> The Atheneum</url>). It also appeared in my high school history textbook, illustrating the revolutions of 1848.
It also probably unwelcome on Tumblr after Dec 17th, due to the completely non-sexual depiction of (cis-female) human anatomy on an allegorical figure.
liberty-presenting nipples
You might recongize these lovebirds from the character sheets I made before.
Analog, Cara, and Analog being cute - Commission for ImprobableIntellect
Thank you for commissioning me!
In protest regarding tumblr's new policies, I'm going to go back through my smut blog and reblog everything on it that hasn't been flagged.
We've got a lot of good examples of Type I error, but I think we could use some more of Type II error.
but really porn is just the canary in the coal mine that our supposed general purpose computing devices are tightly controlled by a duopoly that makes Microsoft in the ‘90s look relaxed and open minded: Apple doesn’t want porn apps on its phones, so there are no porn apps on its phones; other apps can stay if they tithe 30%, but they’re on thin fucking ice.
you can leave Tumblr and go to another social network, but if that gets sufficiently popular it will face the same threat, there is no escape.
the last bastion of freedom is the open web, and I anticipate the day when mobile Safari blocks access to sites that aren’t signed by Apple, for security reasons.
the right to install whatever software you want on your own computer is a vital one, and we should be fighting for it.
but really porn is just the canary in the coal mine that our supposed general purpose computing devices are tightly controlled by a duopoly that makes Microsoft in the ‘90s look relaxed and open minded: Apple doesn’t want porn apps on its phones, so there are no porn apps on its phones; other apps can stay if they tithe 30%, but they’re on thin fucking ice.
you can leave Tumblr and go to another social network, but if that gets sufficiently popular it will face the same threat, there is no escape.
the last bastion of freedom is the open web, and I anticipate the day when mobile Safari blocks access to sites that aren’t signed by Apple, for security reasons.
the right to install whatever software you want on your own computer is a vital one, and we should be fighting for it.
Lmao you absolute pineapple pizzas. I reblogged it from staff. FROM STAFF!!!! It was flagged??? Even tho it is from staff???
BWAHAHAHAHA tumblr