Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

'Cause, Classical Conditioning.

What did jason say when he saw Batman opening a bottle of red wine?

"I'll have a bat-tini!"

I told my therapist I have trouble verbally expressing my emotions and she literally stared at me for a straight minute and said "i was trying to figure out how to say 'no shit' professionally"

OKAY

[asking my parents to pay for my therapist]

you break it you buy it.

How do I unsubscribe from anxiety 🙂✌🏻

Derek- Looks like a cinnamon roll; could actually tear you to pieces (unless you're stiles or cora).

Stiles- Looks like cinnamon roll; Actually is a cinnamon roll (a smol boi with a baseball bat).

Carry on my wayward son

For there'll be peace when you are done

Lay your weary head to rest

Don't you cry no more

"We're all a little broken, yet some pieces still manage to fit together"

Someone get this lady a resurrection spell!

Five stages of grief

Falcon & the winter soldier

So if Sam is gonna be captain America, shouldn't the show be called captain America and the winter soldier.

Tony: Peter, what're you drinking?

Peter: (looks nervous) tea

Steve: c'mon Peter be honest. What is it you're drinking?

Peter: tea- eh.. Quila

Tony: what the....