don’t let the horny posting fool you too much, i am a hopeless romantic little bitch at heart

girls will see your fingers and imagine what it would feel like inside of them

Thinking about...

"Oh good girl, you're so good for me."

"Fuck baby, you're so tight."

"I know, I know baby, it's okay, just breathe for me, come on, just breathe."

"You take me so well, fuck, you're making such a mess, angel."

"Look at me. Look at me when I'm talking to you. Good girl."

"God, you look so pretty underneath me like this."

"Come on baby, just one more. There we go, that's it sweetheart. You can do it for me."

"Oh darling, you thought we were done? We've barely even started."

"Fuck princess, oh fuck, you feel so fucking good, you're so fucking wet for me, fuck-"

men dni

I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(

hnn I WANT IT SO BAD

on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!

IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS

now we enter the testing phase

yup. looks good.

Extreme Chompin T-Rex says IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

Can we take a moment to appreciate that we can use this as a rosetta stone to say “EXTREME CHOMPIN’ “ in four languages?

OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT, let me check the garbage to see if it’s still there! hopefully I didn’t destroy it in my excitement

*roar sound effect*

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help

(secret bonus: the other side of her tag)

There’s more!

I love.

I saw that people are reblogging the thread again, so I thought I’d give you all an update on how Wexter is doing!

(just fine)

Wexter And The Case Of Her Continuing Marvelously Naughty Garden Adventures

OP and Wexter can break all my toes and I would still send a thank you card

Wexter says SHE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING (but she might chew your ankles a little bit maybe)

so it’s come to my attention that at some point this weekend Wexter blew past 100,000 notes, and I for one think that’s very cash money of her.

it’s been a few weeks, I suppose we should check up on the AHSGSHGAFB?!

ajdhf.

well that’s just,,,

REXCELLENT

two hundred THOUSAND notes???!?!

HELL

YES

HELL

FUCKING

YES.

Nearing on 375K Notes!!! What in the Paleolithic are y'all gonna do when they top 400K?!

cry, probably

Reblogging to get you one note closer to crossing the 400k mark!

IT’S TIME

YOU MANIACS. okay, here we go!

HAIL TO THE QUEEN

LONG MAY SHE REIGN!

(she was a skater Rex, she said see you later Rex, she’s finally hit 400k!)

we’re coming to you live from Halloween 2022, where Wexter continues to be ridiculously jawsome!

this year we’re doing a much-beloved character from classic literature, “Dracula with inappropriate straw hat”

thanks everyone, may your weens be hollow and your candy be many!

hey! HEY. it’s Halloween 2023! AND YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT WEXTER IS DRESSED UP AS THIS YEAR.

she’s… (WEXTER! here girl!) she’s a… a…..

she’s a T. Rex.

GOTTEM!

…Another epic.

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse

Nikos Kazantzakis, from “Report to Greco”, tr. by P. A. Bien

Don’t be mad when I give someone else what I wanted to give you.

You deserve someone who wants to figure it out with you.

💐🧚🏻‍♂️📚🍄🧌

i’m not single i’m taken ᵃˢ ᵃ ʲᵒᵏᵉ

— Unknown

you know what’s attractive? effort.

& keeping your promises

— Abraham Maslow

After this year, I actually want to hug myself tight because I'm still standing

"Come home to me" kind of love

"you're my home" kind of love

"that's my girl" is one of the sweetest and cutest thing that i really want to hear, like yes i am. you're right say it again

Fuck sex. I am tryna be your home, your safe place, your go to person, the reason your mental health is getting better.

We still gonna have rough sex tho.

all I wanna be

🐅