imagine if we all went to school together

*texts back 3 weeks later* sorry I fell asleep

a centaur that’s half horse, half centaur

*tries to watch 45 minutes episode in 20 minutes*

how u know ur life is getting grim

very nsfw only read this if u want to have an orgasm

nakud woman (with boob) 

Satan on his throne

Everyone on tumblr is always complaining about Minions, but TRY HAVING A FREAKING FIVE-YEAR-OLD WHO WATCHED THAT MOVIE AND NOW THINKS HE IS A MINION AND TALKS LIKE A MINION ALL THE DAMNED TIME SO THAT YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY SAY, “I’m sorry Henry I don’t speak Minion what would you like for breakfast?”

but mom how will other people know that you, a white Texan, are a Christian

same

Jesus

I bet those two are couple now..

I’m gay

me too

This is such a great story

when ur phone’s on 1% and ur friend says “I have my charger”

trying to make a situation better and accidentally making it a worse

i love being tight with teachers because you get to hear them talk shit about other teachers its so funny they all act like highschoolers except they get paid 

When your squad roasting you but they make valid points

The two biggest fuckin liars on television.