lurker (check pinned)

EVERY YEAR

my mom dot com

My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

do they smoke weed?

Yes, actually.

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

Well that escalated quickly……

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

this dude playin omg 

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

date of origin: 2015

straight culture is “breakup prank” being a thing

on their anniversary.

and he still posted it????

Um…excuse me, but why is this labeled as “Straight Culture”? Are you saying this is something only straight people would do, because as a straight person, we aren’t all that stupid. I’m not saying that straight people are better than any other kind of person, I’m just asking that you don’t label us under something so offensive. I mean, how would you feel if I said that (in the right circumstances) this was “gay culture” or “trans culture” or “bi culture”. Doesn’t seem fair does it? Again, I’m not saying all gay/trans/bi people are stupid enough to do this, but neither are straight people. Thank you.

shut up straightie

Oh, fuck you. I tried being as respectful as possible, but yet again you guys just read only what you want! I was just saying straight people aren’t bad people, we are just as good and bad as anybody who is LGBTQ+. You guys want to stop being generalized? Well then stop generalizing us!

straight people are bad

Can you tell me why?

being straight is unnatural

PFGHEYHADFBEHLNCD

WHAT!?

THAT IS LITERALLY THE STUPIDEST THING IVE EVER HEARD! XD

being straight is a sin

You are joking right? Please tell me this is a joke. Surely nobody could be that stupid.

no i’m serious

I’m starting to question how you have the IQ necessary to use a keyboard if you truly think you are correct here.

it says right on the first page of the bible that god hates cishets

I’m going to argue against this in two parts.

“GOD created Adam and Eve and realized cishets were a mistake.” is the opening line of the bible

It is very clearly not. I’m pretty sure that “cishets” was not a term used back when the bible was written.

that’s fake, actually

Ok, I’m done. Say waht you want, but you are wrong and everyone knows it. You can stop trying now. It would be a waste of your energy, not that I care anyway.

they went and googled the opening fucking line lahlahlusdfghajlfghjl;adhgat

straight culture is freaking the fuck out at being slightly made fun of and doing the absolute most to prove they’re right

This post is smooth in all directions.

smooth like a shark

like it’s actually really weird! sometimes I get really nasty hateful and sorta evil messages from people, or my friends do, or someone leaves something horrible in a reblog of my posts, and I go to the blog and it’s all like “ uwu plant baby “ aesthetics and reblogs of mental illness posts like “do you ever worry deep down you’re a bad person” and pictures of animals saying stuff like “don’t worry, you are good” and it’s almost CREEPY to me because actually no??? right now you aren’t good!! you’re sending horrible, hateful, mean things to people! you’re being nasty for the sake of being nasty and PRETENDING it’s for some righteous cause bc you don’t want to even stop and think about what you’re saying!!! It’s so frustrating bc the guilt WORKS. I almost feel BAD being like “don’t talk like that to other human beings it’s terrible” bc what if they have a meltdown bc of it and hurt themselves?? I don’t want to be involved in that! I don’t want them to get hurt! But also!!! They’re the ones on the attack! being horrible! With NO regard for my feelings or anyone else’s. But I still can’t handle the possibility so I usually just delete the asks or the comment and block them but it’s SO frustrating it makes me cry sometimes!!!!

It’s so fucking surreal. Half the time that I get messages like “hey I think you deserve to get murdered”, they’re from blogs with cutesy pastel pink aesthetics and posts about kindness and positivity and taking the time to understand others. What even inspired an aesthetic blog to join the dark side?

I think it’s a smokescreen, but like, internally? Sometimes you’ll get ones that are half just like, openly and bitterly harassing people in one thread, and then in the next thread being all “uwu pastoralist aesthetic helping others” It comes off as this utterly hollow performative shell. Like the uncanny valley but for blogging. As if the person running the blog knows deep down what they’re doing and saying is wrong and so they constantly have to infantalize themselves to justify it.

Also if they keep saying all this nice stuff, it reinforces to their followers that they’re super nice – even if they never actually demonstrate it

so if they get criticized their followers will come to their defense like “nooooo they’re so nice!!” and provide them with the validation they need

Your skeleton is always warm

wont be soon

good evening to creepers and enderman only.

and spiders

no

yes 🕷

drv3 except tsumugi is constantly making references to vines and no one knows what shes fucking talking about

happy sunday

sdr2 au in which everything is the same except i am poorly photoshopped into the party scene

aight fuck this im making it into a series

tag yourself i’m splash babe

I’m splash babe too

Hello splash babe too, I’m Dad!

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