anonymoussx-blog1 reblogged
fluorescent
Why? You came stole my heart and then left? How could you? I didn’t deserve what you did to me because every time I try to forget you, our memories haunt me. They don’t leave me alone. They don’t let me move on. I cry because it hurts me so much knowing I can’t have you. Knowing you can’t be mine. Why do I still have this feeling.
It’s been ages since I’ve been up til this late. I’m punishing myself by listening to songs that remind me of you. I close my eyes in hopes to see you but all I remember is the times I took your love for granted. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way I was. You never deserved the way I treated you. You was the most beautiful angel I had ever met and that angel won’t ever come again. I just know. And it kills me. Every moment. I just can’t deal with this, even right now I pray some how you remember me and message me. I’m slowly dying. Please save me.
“You left and now I’m weak. I can’t be who I used to be.”
Baby I want you to save me, I want our last moment to be done properly but you’re probably someone else’s now. This kills me. Knowing I don’t have you til this day. I pray now god saves me before it’s too late. Before the feeling of not staying alive comes to me again. The feeling of giving up instantly. It’s weird, something like this may be minor to you but it’s the world to me. I trusted you. My heart bleeds and anger tears down my cheeks. Everything I do reminds me of you, it’s killing me. I’m stronger but you was also my strength. You left and now I’m weak. I can’t be who I used to be.
“Life is more complicated than you can possibly think”
So many memories rush through my mind everyday. The memories we created together and only broken hearts will understand. My blood boils knowing our love wasn’t as perfect as others love seem. Why not? What was I or you missing? Baby if only we never gave up on each other that easily, if only. Now half of our souls would’ve been together running around. My heart would’ve beat faster knowing we made it. It hurts so much that even these words aren’t good enough to describe it.
I think what hurts the most is that every time I close my eyes, I remember your soft lips joint with mine. I remember your cold hand around my neck and that moment my heart was beating so fast, I was alive but I felt like I was dying at the same time. God, I never realised but in reality you stole my breathe and that’s why whenever I was near you that was the only time I could breath properly. Oh how much I miss you. I cry, silently, because I just can’t escape what could’ve been. You was a complete lie - beginning til end. But our memories wasn’t. The moments we shared and the hours we spoke for weren’t a lie. For sure. Every night I get into bed hoping the next morning doesn’t come but there I am still breathing, my heart pounding and another hope growing inside of me. For you to come back. Even though it’s impossible, they say impossible itself has a possible in it so maybe you will be mine once again. We might share a few moments again.
My story. Another teenager; broken with a bit of hope and still wondering every night if I wasn’t worth them or they weren’t worth me? Why things never worked out the way I planned them like a crazy person in my head. Why our conversations were always left incomplete with the person I was once in love with. The person I’d give my whole world to without a second thought. Why I expected so much from this temporary world where only people care about themselves. Ironic. That’s the thing you chose who is really worth being hurt for.