I’m Kim

juggalos are the true allies

I think the most Gemini thing my dad has ever done is one year he threw himself a reverse surprise party for the sheer drama of it. What is a reverse surprise party? you may ask, well let me tell you. So he invites over all his friends and family and then in the middle of dinner he stands up and announces that it’s not a regular dinner, it is in fact, his birthday dinner (his exact words were “Surprise! …. it’s my Birthday”) cue everyone looking panicked, because oh god I don’t have a gift, I don’t even have a card, but my father, wine glass still in hand assures them not to worry and reveals a pile of presents he got for himself and wrapped for everyone to pick one and give it to him as their gift. And honestly? My father is such a legend.

someday, in the distant future, humans will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to  respond with “baby don’t hurt me”

So at that point, people will say “baby don’t hurt me”…no more?

I tried to scroll past I really did

beautiful set up, perfect follow-through. great teamwork everyone

would u rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby??

whats a matter baby

nothing sweetie whats a matter with you??

I literally did not see that coming

Just so everyone knows Mike Pence’s website has been hacked and its wonderful 

someone PLEASE archive this

I’M ABOUT TO FUCKING PISS MYSELF

IF YOU CLICK ON “ARE YOU A HOMOSEXUAL” IT TAKES YOU TO HELL.COM I CANT

charge your phone twice as fast

Imagine if you kept buying the first adapter and kept adding on to the chain of chargers & adapters you’ve now aquired and use a power strip connected to a bunch of other power strips to connect all your chargers from a single outlet.

CHARGE YOUR PHONE EIGHT TIMES AS FAST

I wonder if anything interesting would happen if you tried

by Buttersafe

mood

wow I can’t believe the Jonas Brothers aren’t brothers anymore

“don’t be shy” thanks u cured me

why would a candle thats already lit want to be with a match

also her being lit is going to eventually melt her and reduce her to nothing match guy is an abusive sadboy who thinks he’s the victim when candlegirl just wants someone who will keep her alive

im here for this analysis

you would not believe your pants

if ten million fire ants

This cracked me up.

(Source.)

REBLOG RARE POSITIVE GORDON

aaaaaaaand we’re going to war with poland.