Avatar

Beans

@annalovesyourmom

Expert in being a dumbass
Avatar

booty shorts that say “i took my love, i took it down. climbed a mountain and i turned around. and i saw my reflection in the snow covered hills til the landslide brought me down. oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? can the child within my heart rise above? can i sail through the changin' ocean tides? can i handle the seasons of my life? well, i’ve been afraid of changing cause i’ve built my life around you. but time makes you bolder, even children get older, and i’m gettin' older, too” on the ass

I was baking a strawberry shortcake for my mom when I realized that I forgot the baking powder. I began to panic so I pulled the cakes out of the oven; they were already completely baked but they rose just fine without the baking powder? I was staring at them in confusion, trying to remember if I accidentally put yeast in the batter, when I felt a shadow loom over me. I looked over my shoulder only to find Luigi. Luigi tenderly took my hands and told me, “You need not worry, for I will accompany you in any and all of your baking endeavors.” I have never felt more loved in my life. I cried.

I thought this was the mother of all shitposts and then I saw the url

why do i never see the url?

No one reads urls on tumblr. Which actually works out well for the one-time-i-dreamt tumblr posts, I think, because just like the original person, we are not aware at first that we are inside the dream. And then at some point — usually towards the end when things have gotten weird enough that it’s clear this can’t resolve properly before the end of the post — we check the url and understand, much like a sleeper waking up. Once something goes up on one-time-i-dreamt it becomes a dream we all experience, together.

Cleaning women washing a crucifix, 1938

via reddit

Me, thinking they’re hosing an emaciated child down the stairs: oh jesus…

Me, realizing it is in fact our lord and savior on the cross: oh, Jesus…

I’m screaming.

Avatar

a vampire stands on the front porch of a farmhouse and says “i cannot come in unless i am invited”. the vampires friend, a cowboy, says “cmon, you know youre always welcome here, partner.” the vampire begins crying.

then they kiss

“And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head.”

Into the Wild (2007) dir. Sean Penn